Sex In The Pumpkin Patch

[bruce1156]

This was recently in the Seattle Paper......... The title of the article was "Best Come Back Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Robert Aylor, 59+ year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.

On Monday, at the County courthouse, Aylor was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, "You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around" he stated in a telephone interview.

Aylor went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' "Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Aylor failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor.

"I walked up to Mr. Aylor and he's just banging away at this pumpkin."


Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Aylor.

"I said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?"


He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said.....


"A pumpkin? ..... Shit...is it midnight already!?!"

[Storm]

Heard before I think, but still quick thinking nonetheless

[Mikkel]

Hehe got me to thinking about a real occurence in Denmark last year:

A young couple where having sex out in the open somewhere (I think it was a meadow or a park or something).
Someone spots them and reports it to the police (happens very rarely I'm told) and two police officers(male and female) are sent to the "crimescene" to encourage the lovebirds to pack up and get a room. The bloke who was having sex gets rather unsettled by their apperance and acts all nervous while the girl is quite relaxed and just makes a statement along the lines that she kinda likes uniforms and if they shouldn't do a foursome The police officers are a bit disconcerted by this but asks her to put on her clothes
It turned out that the bloke was on probation or some such and not adhering to his restrictions.