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Thread: Best farking porterhouse steak recipe!!!! (Hilarious)

  1. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hitcher View Post
    The recipe for tartare is the easy bit. Much harder is finding a butcher who knows enough about their steak to be able to get you something lean and tender enough to be suitable. There used to be only one in the whole of Wellington, but he shut up shop about two years ago. The only hope is probably the Island Bay Butchery, but I haven't yet put them to the test.

    And one needs to know one's onions as well.
    I am impressed...and also lucky enough to have the aforementioned style of butcher in my area, and regal 007XY with that dish whenever requested to...he was converted by my father last year when we visited him in New Caledonia. Neil was dubious at first, but since it is my dad's favourite, he was too polite to refuse! Now, he's hooked!

    Quote Originally Posted by Hitcher View Post
    If you need a recipe for a reduced port wine and bone marrow jus, give me a hoy after you've procured the necessary ingredients. It's guaranteed to get a steak-eater's orgasmatron to 11.
    Mmmmmmmm...yes, please! I'll bribe you with my renowned chocolate mousse recipe ...
    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf View Post
    Time to cut out the "holier/more enlightened than thou" bullshit and the "slut" comments and let people live honestly how they like providing they're not harming themselves or others in the process.

  2. #17
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    I agree that scotch fillet is much nicer than porterhouse - especially that thick cut (boston?).

    However, it doesn't measure up to a good eye fillet IMHO.

    As for sauce (jus, come on seriously that's just gay for sauce) I like to make portobello, redwine and cream sauce. Seriously yummy. But perhaps I should try and pick up some other recipes so I don't grow tired of it :tui: So by all means do enlighten us Hitcher

    Steak tartare means it's seared on the outside raw in the middle - or is it raw through and through. I usually aim for what they call "bleu" in France, bloody nice if the meat is good - just bloody if it's substandard...
    Another thing which is good seared on the outside raw in the middle is tuna steak, seriously yummy if you can get proper fresh good quality tuna!
    It is preferential to refrain from the utilisation of grandiose verbiage in the circumstance that your intellectualisation can be expressed using comparatively simplistic lexicological entities. (...such as the word fuck.)

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  3. #18
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    I have just consumed one 500g scotch fillet, cooked almost to perfection, at least as close as I can get it with a frying pan on a ceramic stovetop.

    I should really see about getting a kick-arse portable gas cooker and a cast iron skillet.

    Perfection, in my books, is seared on the outside, several mm of light pink flesh underneath, with a dark strip through the middle, just like you'd cook tuna. That's what I call 'rare'; restaurants always seem to cook their 'rare' steaks a little more than that, so I'm not sure if my description is right.

    However, that's the way I like it.

    And, yes, like the recipe in the original post says, a thin scattering of cracked black pepper, and eat it within seconds of removal from the pan.

    It did, in fact, virtually fall apart under my knife.

    I don't really feel like I need anything else, apart from the Bombay and Schweppes that I'm halfway through as I type.



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  4. #19
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    Hitcher, post that jus recipe!

    Mikkel, in my books, the difference between sauce and jus is that the latter is prepared with stock or other dead-animal products rather than simply being a concoction of tasty but unrelated liquids, ie, sauce.

    And steak tartare is marinated and seasoned raw beef mince.

    Drool.

    V, what's a guy gotta do to get a dinner invite at chez 007?

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  5. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by 007XX View Post
    I am impressed...and also lucky enough to have the aforementioned style of butcher in my area, and regal 007XY with that dish whenever requested to...he was converted by my father last year when we visited him in New Caledonia. Neil was dubious at first, but since it is my dad's favourite, he was too polite to refuse! Now, he's hooked!
    ...
    And where would one find such a butcher?
    Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

  6. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by jrandom View Post
    Hitcher, post that jus recipe!

    Mikkel, in my books, the difference between sauce and jus is that the latter is prepared with stock or other dead-animal products rather than simply being a concoction of tasty but unrelated liquids, ie, sauce.

    And steak tartare is marinated and seasoned raw beef mince.

    Drool.

    V, what's a guy gotta do to get a dinner invite at chez 007?

    Nopt quite correct...if it was marinated, it would be partly cooked by the sauces and spices. It is just raw seasoned lean beef mince...

    And as soon as I have a house to go to, I'm sure a little dinner can be sorted!

    Quote Originally Posted by WickedOne View Post
    And where would one find such a butcher?
    The one at the top of Glenfield Rd is pretty darn good, but most of the time I just go to the paknsave in Albany, as they have a very lean mince option.
    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf View Post
    Time to cut out the "holier/more enlightened than thou" bullshit and the "slut" comments and let people live honestly how they like providing they're not harming themselves or others in the process.

  7. #22
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    agreed you should also leave the steak to rest for a few minutes after cooking

  8. #23
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    I no longer buy from Pack 'n save, they really have no idea how to butcher meat.

    Go and see the guys at Maxi Meat Mart at 654 East Coast Road.

    I bought some Porterhouse Blue steaks from there this weekend and they were awesome!!! They also have venison and lots of great cuts that you hardly ever see. You'll also get some bloody good service from them!!!!

    Alternatively, try the butcher in Silverdale (Where Plant Barn is), bloody good cuts and great variety!!!
    Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

  9. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by marioc View Post
    agreed you should also leave the steak to rest for a few minutes after cooking
    Good call, it is essential to let it rest for a few minutes so that it "relaxes" before serving.
    Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

  10. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kendog View Post
    It has to be a great steak to not need garlic.

    immmmmmm, garlic.
    If you are going to use garlic, make garlic butter and drop it on After the thing is cooked, while its resting.

    the problem I find is that if the temperature is right for the meat, the garlic just gets horribly burnt, and imparts a disgusting bitter flavour through the whole thing. Not good.
    I thought elections were decided by angry posts on social media. - F5 Dave

  11. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by WickedOne View Post
    I no longer buy from Pack 'n save, they really have no idea how to butcher meat.

    Go and see the guys at Maxi Meat Mart at 654 East Coast Road.

    I bought some Porterhouse Blue steaks from there this weekend and they were awesome!!! They also have venison and lots of great cuts that you hardly ever see. You'll also get some bloody good service from them!!!!

    Alternatively, try the butcher in Silverdale (Where Plant Barn is), bloody good cuts and great variety!!!
    mmmm...I shall investigate the one from East Coast Rd this weekend, thanks! I do so love my venison...Yummy!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf View Post
    Time to cut out the "holier/more enlightened than thou" bullshit and the "slut" comments and let people live honestly how they like providing they're not harming themselves or others in the process.

  12. #27
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    Taking the risk of being declared a heretic I'd hazard a suggestion that a bit of crushed black pepper won't hurt.
    "People are stupid ... almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe it's true, or because they are afraid it might be true. People's heads are full of knowledge, facts, and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think it all true ... they can only rarely tell the difference between a lie and the truth, and yet they are confident they can, and so all are easier to fool." -- Wizard's First Rule

  13. #28
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    cant beat home kill

    home kill all the way
    DUCATI ALL THE WAY!!!

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