I like to ride my bicycle

**Dilligaf** · 31st October 2007, 09:43

I like to ride my bike....
Er. Just not quite like this guy :

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/liv...4&in_page_id=1

Man forced to sign sex offenders' register for having sex with a bike
Last updated at 09:02am on 30th October 2007

Comments (16)

Robert Stewart was discovered half naked trying to have sex with a bicycle
A man has been put on the sex offenders' register after being caught trying to have sex with a bike.

Robert Stewart was discovered half naked in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.

Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how his indiscretion was uncovered.

She said: "They (the hostel cleaners) knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

The hostel staff informed the manager who reported Stewart to the police.

Mr Stewart has been placed on the sex offenders' register but his sentence was deferred until next month.

Although unusual he is not the first to be caught in a compromising situation with an object as Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.

Witnesses reported seeing him lying face down on the pavement with his trousers around his ankles.

**imdying** · 31st October 2007, 09:54

Informed police? Because he was simulating sex with a bicycle? And now he in a sex offenders register?

Well, he's doing the time, he might as well do some crime... hunt those cleaners down and cut their throats

**jrandom** · 31st October 2007, 09:56

Simulating sex with an inanimate object is a crime in Scotland?

What will they do when they run out of sheep?

**The Pastor** · 31st October 2007, 10:16

in a closed room too lol.

hey man i was just putting my rubber on!

**avgas** · 31st October 2007, 10:27

Is it just me, or is this a little too PC.
i mean come on - the bike isn't going to tell anyone.
Mabey it wasnt his bike

**Supermoto Junkie** · 31st October 2007, 10:42

Originally Posted by avgas

Is it just me, or is this a little too PC.
i mean come on - the bike isn't going to tell anyone.
Mabey it wasnt his bike

Maybe it was a childrens bike?

**Mikkel** · 31st October 2007, 10:49

...far out!

What is this world coming to? I don't understand why he didn't just ask the cleaners to fuck off when they knocked on his door though...

**Beemer** · 31st October 2007, 11:27

Originally Posted by Supermoto Junkie

Maybe it was a childrens bike?

That will be it - he's not only a sex offender, he's a bloody paedophile too! I just hope he wasn't taping it...

**deanohit** · 31st October 2007, 11:50

Originally Posted by Beemer

That will be it - he's not only a sex offender, he's a bloody paedophile too! I just hope he wasn't taping it...

Either that or the bike didn't consent to sexual relations.

And yea, over the top response, the guy trying to have sex with the pavement, I understand him getting punished as it was most likely in a public place, but this guy was at home having some fun with his bike.

**Crisis management** · 31st October 2007, 11:52

But, how do you have sex with a bicycle?

Looking at our mountain bikes I'm buggered if I can see any handy orifices to use....any suggestions?

**deanohit** · 31st October 2007, 11:53

Sorry dude, no idea, at least bikes have exaust pipes aye!

**Tank** · 31st October 2007, 12:21

This KB cracks me up - speed or go too slow and there are 100 other posters ready to tell you why you are a menace to society and should be locked up for the rest of your life.

But fuck a pushbike and all is OK.

Strange bunch you lot

Wonder if he used an inner tube for protection.

**avgas** · 31st October 2007, 12:48

Originally Posted by Tank

But fuck a pushbike and all is OK.

Strange bunch you lot

Its midday, the sun is shining, and we are posting on the internet. On a forum about riding bikes........somehow bike fucking isnt out of the question.

**Big Dan** · 31st October 2007, 13:17

Originally Posted by avgas

Its midday, the sun is shining, and we are posting on the internet. On a forum about riding bikes........somehow bike fucking isnt out of the question.

avgas are you saying that you par-take in such acts with the said bike?