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And once again, it's time for the Darwin Award Nominees. The
Darwin's are awarded every year to the persons who died in the most
stupid manner, thereby removing themselves from the gene pool.
This year's nominees are:
Nominee No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]:
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former
girl friends windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when
the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
Nominee No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]:
James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, MI, was killed in March as
he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type
truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while
Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a
troubling noise. Burns clothes caught on something, however, and
the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft".
Nominee No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]:
Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in
December in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing
telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed
instead a Smith & Wesson
38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto]:
Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a
downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his
shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman
said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion
Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength
of the buildings windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously
has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police
reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day
Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the
best and brightest" members of the 200-man association.
Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]:
Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had
spent several years awaiting South Carolinas electric chair on a
murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in
prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to
fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
Nominee No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]:
A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in
Dunkirk, IN. A Jay County man, using a cigarette lighter to check
the barrel of a muzzle loader, was killed Monday night when the
weapon discharged in his face, sheriffs investigators said. Gregory
David Pryor, 19, died in his parents rural Dunkirk home at about
11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-
loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter
to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.
Nominee No. 7: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]:
A man cleaning a bird feeder on t he balcony of his condominium
apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his
death. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the
accident occurred, said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional
Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the
balcony," Honer said.
Finally, THE WINNER!!!: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:
Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road
and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early
Monday.
Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly
after midnight Monday.
Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis,
38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog catching
trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights
malfunctioned.
The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model
truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available,
Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit
perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column.
Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate
properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White
River Bridge.
After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing
the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck
Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited
the pavement, and struck a tree . Poole suffered only minor cuts
and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery
to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as
intended.
Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released.
"Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls
off, or we might be dead," stated Wallis .
"I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but
this is a first for me. I cant believe that those two would admit
how this accident happened," said Snyder.
Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia ( Poole's wife) asked how
many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the
truck???
(Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their
misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules,
it can be argued that Poole did in fact effectively remove himself
from the gene pool )
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Originally Posted by Korumba
A few years ago I heard a story about a guy who did exactly the same thing driving a landrover. 
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