Offensive text message

[jazbug5]

I had fun with one of these earlier this year.

Got a barrage of texts from someone in gibberish txtsp at 1 in the morning. Finally, I texted them back to ask them to stop, because I wasn't their 'luv'. Then this girl rang, leaving a message in broad, drunken Glaswegian telling me it was only early, and that I had to come and pick them up from the club (lots of thumping crap 'club tune' noise in the background). At which point I turned the phone off. (Annoying, because I use it as my alarm.)

Anyway, thought no more of it until about three weeks later, when I was happily snoring away at 2 in the morning, I got a call. Some Glaswegian bloke doing his nut at me for shagging his missus, and he was going to 'kick my c*nt in'. I tried to interject, pointing out that not only am I female, but I'm about 400 miles away and have never met his idiot missus. He's not having it- possibly because I am Scottish. He's on a roll, slurring and screaming away, so I hang up, he calls back.... turn the phone off. Several abusive messages to delete the next day.
Had to get my gruffest mate to call back and tell him he was going the right way about getting his legs broken for 'hassling his pregnant missus'.
Twat. He actually pretended a mate had used his phone... *cower*.

[scumdog]

I had a guy texting me for weeks trying to get back with me after being unfaithful. He refused to believe that I wasn't the object of his lust and to his credit absorbed an incredible amount of abuse and then misinformation when I realised he wasn't going away. Wonder if he misses me?

CB had a txt fight with somebody somewhere in NZ who wanted their pound of cannabis back out of our cars glove-box (actually spelt it 'marajuana' in the txt).

Got quite stroppy when told they couldn't have it and we weren't bringing it back.

Some poor prick somewhere in NZ is going to get the bash next time they meet the mystery txt-er and won't have any idea what it's about!.

[onearmedbandit]

You keep your stash in the patrol cars glovebox scummy? Must remember that next time I see you.

[scumdog]

You keep your stash in the patrol cars glovebox scummy? Must remember that next time I see you.

Is THAT which car they were txting about? Sheesh, I wish they had said so, I spent ages looking through me Anglias glovebox and couldn't find a thing!!

[Swoop]

Should have said that it had been traded for an ounce of Columbian marching powder, but you'll give it to him as not to ruin the deal.
Then just get a small amount of donut icing powder and put that in a bag for when they do the pick-up...

You do have donut icing sugar???

[Goblin]

Reply and ask them what they're wearing.

Just last week my mate had a text from some random stranger asking "who dis?" I told him to text back "what are you wearing?" They text back and forth for a while. Turned out it was a 15 year old female from Christchurch...she was shocked to discover she'd been conversing with a 50 year old from Rotorua.

[bungbung]

I received a message in txt spk which pretty much decoded to:

can you give me a ride to aunty's place so I can buy drugs?

and more recently this (quoted verbatim):

HaE rocH ii Ts Me MaNdA Oii sHe aDmiiTeD iiT sOh yEa sHe sHuD jUs sHuDuB mAN sPiiNiiNg AnD sHyT oKaE oO ii cNt Gt oN tHa nEt eThA mA bWaVaZ oN tHe NeT LoL


different number though

[UberRhys]

The obvious reply.

U welcum 2 him cos he dun give me an STD n now i godda get an AIDS test 2 .

Hahaha, that would have bought a few more replies. Would be well worth the 20c...

CB had a txt fight with somebody somewhere in NZ who wanted their pound of cannabis back out of our cars glove-box (actually spelt it 'marajuana' in the txt).

Got quite stroppy when told they couldn't have it and we weren't brining it back.

Some poor prick somewhere in NZ is going to get the bash next time they meet the mystery txt-er and won't have any idea what it's about!.

Must be a big glovebox then...

I received a message in txt spk which pretty much decoded to:

can you give me a ride to aunty's place so I can buy drugs?

and more recently this (quoted verbatim):

HaE rocH ii Ts Me MaNdA Oii sHe aDmiiTeD iiT sOh yEa sHe sHuD jUs sHuDuB mAN sPiiNiiNg AnD sHyT oKaE oO ii cNt Gt oN tHa nEt eThA mA bWaVaZ oN tHe NeT LoL


different number though

this annoys me, I read in the Herald that kids can use this in exams? jeepers I must be old, where's my zimmer frame yah little whipper snaper

[judecatmad]

I'm grumpy. I just got a text message that reads:

"Fuk sakes u thick pathetic dirty slut leave daniel tha fuk alone. Kn u get tht thru u thick head! Or du i need spel it owt 2 u?"

I'm offended by the spelling. Why use 'owt' instead of 'out'? Or 'du' instead of 'do'? People really need to learn to spell before they start sending texts like this to random strangers.

By the way, if any of the Daniels on this site have my number programmed into their phone - please keep your girlfriend under control! She sounds nasty!

Post the number and we can all have a bit of fun with spam-texting the idiot!

[bungbung]

I thought that txt spk was all about speeding up the text entry. The example I gave with the case change every letter, surely that will take a while to key in (it took a while on a full keyboard).

[Mikkel]

Just last week my mate had a text from some random stranger asking "who dis?" I told him to text back "what are you wearing?" They text back and forth for a while. Turned out it was a 15 year old female from Christchurch...she was shocked to discover she'd been conversing with a 50 year old from Rotorua.

That's so fucking funny. I like the sleasiness of "What are you wearing?"

And yeah, txt sp is just not on! I get that you can save a bit of space by using it - but let's face it, if you can't express yourself in 160 chars chances are that you'd be better off calling anyway. I have been thinking about ignoring all texts where people can't be arsed to spell the words out - would make everything a whole lot easier.

[janno]

Since the txt didn't make sense or have relevance to you, I vote for sending back in the same vein. Such as

Sve the blck 1 legd lesbian wales.

or

enlrge ur pnis now! Bargin anteatr dick pwdr str8 frm peru 1/2 price!

[Hitcher]

The superior attitude of some TXTers is enthralling. A year or so ago Mrs H got a stream of TXTs from somebody who refused to believe that she (Mrs H) was not the intended recipient and that the non-delivery problem may have something to do with them entering an incorrect number. Along the lines of "How dare you not be Michelle!"

The exchange was most intriguing and provided some interesting insights into "Michelle's" world. In fact one day I plan to write at least a short story based on this scenario.

[Tank]

I love getting wrong number txt - its an invation to take the piss.

They sound like a fucktard - so use it to your advantage.

TXT back the address of someone who has pissed you off.

Tell them "fr3 pi$$ all nite and live bnd playn - all wlcom tell all mat3s".

Go park outside their house and watch as 500 druken teenagers turn up for a party.

[Disco Dan]

By the way, if any of the Daniels on this site have my number programmed into their phone - please keep your girlfriend under control! She sounds nasty!

What is your number... so I can check...