Disco Dans Women Theory

**Disco Dan** · 14th November 2007, 09:45

In my experience women have fitted into two categories, and as such has formed the basis of my original theory:

Fit Chicks (Thin) - Bitches, nasty and manipulative creatures.
Heavy Chicks - Fantastic personalities and generally nice people.

Basically cant have it both ways - either fit and a bitch or heavy and nice personality.

Why? Well I can only assume, but the fit chicks know they are fit and use it to their advantage to get what they want. Heavy chicks, again know they are overweight and focus on their personalities and brains to get what they want.

Sad really. But there is a compromise - Chicks with a big bum or 'thunder thighs' while the rest of them is 'fit' - otherwise known as "the pear". These women generally are pretty nice people but still use their breasts to get ahead in life while still having full functions of their brains.

Now.. following on from this... yes theres more of Discos women theory!

I have noticed a pattern in names, now this is not just limited to women but men too:

Everyone by the same name has shared the same personality traits -

Everyone I have met in life called:

Aaron - Generally great people, easy going and generous.
Andrea - Feel they can talk down to me, tell me what to do all the time.
Lisa - Complete bitches, every Lisa I have met has been a bitch - constantly trying to prove she is better than me in everyway possible (even when she is not!)
Toni - Generally nice, but can turn quickly. Very sexually energised and randy.
Kelvin/Kevin - At face value, a great person - but underneath its all about him, and will use me for what ever he can get.
Murray - Easy going and laid back, very earthy and morally balanced.
Mark - Generally agrevating and grinds away at my patients in some form.
Andrew - Complete personality opposite and very difficult to get to know - also shares "lisa" traits of 'betterness'.
Laura - Fantastic personalities, and nearly always results in me having a huge crush that ends in tears or a fantastic friendship.

Now there are many more examples, and of course the odd exception - however.. not more than one or two at the most. At least that I have encountered. Even then the 'exception' will most likely show his/her true colours and be demoted to his/her category anyway soon enough.

I did hear on the radio that people whos name starts with A, B, & C - generally get a,b or c's in school/uni and the same with peoples names that start with D, E, F etc generally get poor marks. Also we apparently subconciously choose partners whos name starts with the same letter as ours. Creepy.

So thats Disco Dans Womens Theory. Has not failed me yet. Bet you all see why im single now!

I know.. I have a warped view of the world.

**jazbug5** · 14th November 2007, 09:48

Mate. You need help.

**Disco Dan** · 14th November 2007, 09:53

Originally Posted by jazbug5

Mate. You need help.

Yeah I know, could not work out how to do bullet point thingies.

**Stickchick** · 14th November 2007, 09:55

Dude you are seriously unwell. No wonder you are single, as not all fit women are bitches, nasty and manipulative creatures. I'm not fit so to speak but I am thin and I definitely am not what you describe.

Did you ever think that women react to you because of the way you portray yourself in the first instance?

**Big Dave** · 14th November 2007, 09:56

>> patients<<

Needs a ferkin' dictionary more like..

**Disco Dan** · 14th November 2007, 09:57

Originally Posted by Stickchick

Dude you are seriously unwell. No wonder you are single, as not all fit women are bitches, nasty and manipulative creatures. I'm not fit so to speak but I am thin and I definitely am not what you describe.

Did you ever think that women react to you because of the way you portray yourself in the first instance?

mwuahahaha... its starting...

**jrandom** · 14th November 2007, 09:59

LOL!

Someone has a very foolish crush, I think...

Still, she might be getting desperate round about now, so you never know, dude, you could be in with a grin.

**Disco Dan** · 14th November 2007, 09:59

Originally Posted by Big Dave

>> patients<<

Needs a ferkin' dictionary more like..

Yeah.. but its before 12, I mean really... whos together before then! Can still taste the toothpaste!

**Finn** · 14th November 2007, 09:59

Originally Posted by Disco Dan

Aaron - Generally great people, easy going and generous.

Gee thanks Dan.

**kiwifruit** · 14th November 2007, 10:00

Dan, have you tried swinging the other way?
Give me a bell some time

**jrandom** · 14th November 2007, 10:00

Originally Posted by Disco Dan

But there is a compromise - Chicks with a big bum or 'thunder thighs' while the rest of them is 'fit' - otherwise known as "the pear". These women generally are pretty nice people but still use their breasts to get ahead in life while still having full functions of their brains.

... and their noses?

**Big Dave** · 14th November 2007, 10:02

Originally Posted by Disco Dan

Yeah.. but its before 12, I mean really... whos together before then! Can still taste the toothpaste!

Excused. .

**Disco Dan** · 14th November 2007, 10:05

Originally Posted by kiwifruit

Dan, have you tried swinging the other way?
Give me a bell some time

Yeah, tried that once in primary school... instead of forwards and backwards - tried sideways. Ended up knocking the kid on the swing next to me off... did not end well.