Newest Navy vessel - a lasting tribute to Government

[Holy Roller]

RNZN Helen Clark CVS 1



Leaving Whangarei , Headed For Auckland

The RNZ Navy welcomed the latest member of its fleet today.




Pictured above:

The RNZN HMS Helen Elisabeth Clark (CVS 1) set sail today for its home port of Auckland , NZ.

The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to Prime Minister Helen Clark "for her foresight in military budget cuts" and her conduct while Prime Minister.
The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminium and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched or captured on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board. The 20 person crew is completely diversified, including members of all races, creeds, sex, and sexual orientation. This crew, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of New Zealand at all costs!

An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find New Zealand offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may sound hollow and disingenuous , the Navy advises that all apologies will sound very sincere.

The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national defence, but instead in times of conflict the RNZN Helen Clark has orders to seek refuge in Australia, or any other country which will admit it. The ship may be positioned near the Labour Party Headquarters for photo-ops and can be used extensively for social experimentation and whatever other worthless jobs, the commander-in-chief and her ideologue aides can think of.

It is largely rumoured that the ship will also be the set for the upcoming season of MTV's "The Real World."

The ship was renamed and commissioned RNZN "Helen Clark" when someone realized the RNZN actually still existed, unlike the RNZAF.

[Laava]

That's huge!

[Northpoint]

Send it down to tackle those bloody Japanese whalers!!

[NighthawkNZ:Me]

strange... it says US Navy and I thought we mothball our front line fighter force...

[Jantar]

That's part of the overall tactic. If we do accidentally piss anyone off, we can blame it all on USA. Afterall the whole world knows good ole NZ doesn't own anything of any military value.

[Swoop]

Ironically, the safety nazis have dispatched the "safety cone dispenser unit" to deploy "danger" cones around the flight deck. This will lure all enemies into thinking that this is a dangerous weapon!

[RantyDave]

But is it allowed to traverse the seabed and foreshore?

Dave