Firestarter Racing
The first 3 things God made were the Sun, the Moon and Cowpoos.
The movie the good the bad and the ugly was originally named; the good, the bad and Cowpoos, until Cowpoos crashed a Gixxer into the director by mistake.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with Cowpoos.
Man used to travel by horse, until Cowpoos invented the Gixxer. Since then the Gixxer has always crashed more than other bikes.
Firestarter Racing on facebook http://www.facebook.com/FirestarterRacing
Racing thanks to:
www.fluidcoatings.co.nz
www.motostyle.co.nz
MAXIMA racing Oils
www.projectdigital.co.nz
METZELER Tires
New Plymouth Motorcycle Center
www.topstitch.co.nz/
The original Disco
Disco Dan uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
Disco Dan tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
When Disco Dan has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Disco Dan can kill him and take it.
Disco Dan once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Disco Dan doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask Disco Dan what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he crashes a gixxer into your face.
Disco Dan only masturbates to pictures of Disco Dan. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Disco Dan instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Disco Dan appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to crash a gixxer. When asked bout this "glitch," Disco replied, "That's no glitch."
Disco Dan lost his virginity before his dad did.
Since 1983, the year Disco Dan was born, Suzuki related motorcyle crashes have increased 13,000 percent.
Disco Dan sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled riding ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Disco Dan crashed a gixxer into the devils face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Disco Dan brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Disco Dan crashed a gixxer into the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Disco Dan giveth, and the good Disco Dan, he taketh away.
Disco Dan girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF DISCO DAN'" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Disco!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
Disco Dan does not sleep. He passes out pissed
Disco Dan built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Disco Dan met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Disco Dan is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Disco Dan.
Disco Dan was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Disco Dan omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of gixxer related deaths.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Disco Dan smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
There are no disabled people. Only people who Disco Dan has slept with!
Disco Dan does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
There is no chin behind Disco Dans beard. There is only another fist.
Disco Dan once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Disco Dan roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Disco Dan--more than meets the eye, Disco Dan--robot in disguise," and starred Disco Dan as a super hero on a motorbike who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a gixxer. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, Disco Dan rid the earth of the decepticons in 5mins flat,so Disco was replace with a cartoon character instead.
Disco Dan is currently suing greg's, claiming sugar and spice are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
When Disco Dan plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather gixxer crashes to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
It was once believed that Disco Dan actually lost a fight to a Honda rider, but that is a lie, created by Disco Dan himself to lure more Honda riders to him. Honda riders never were very smart.
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Disco Dan.
If you can see Disco Dan, he can see you. If you can't see Disco Dan, you may be only seconds away from having a gixxer crashed into your face.
On the 7th day, God rested.... Disco Dan took over.
When Disco Dan awesome riding prowess fails to resolve a situation,...oh wait...it hasn't!
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Disco Dan.
Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world's hardest substance. But then they met Disco Dan, who crashed a gixxer so hard in to their faces, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Disco Dan's.
God offered Disco Dans the gift to fly,in exchange for his super riding abilities,which he swiftly declined,because god can't catch him!
Disco Dan drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
A duck's quack does not echo. Disco Dan is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why? he will simply stare at you, grimly.
Disco Dan once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Disco lost, he won in life by crashing a gixxer in to the side of Kasparov's face.
Disco Dan doesn't believe in German beer.
If you want a list of Disco Dan enemies, just check the extinct species list.
Disco Dan has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
Disco Dan once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Disco Dan doesn't need to swallow when eating food.
If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Disco Dan.
Ironically, Disco Dan hidden talent is invisibility.
Disco Dan eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.
Disco Dan owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.
Disco Dan invented a language that incorporates motorcycle stunting and riding.So next time Disco Dan is kicking your ass on a track, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your helmet.
Disco Dan invented water.
One time while sparring with Wolverine, Disco Dan accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.
Contrary to popular belief, Disco Dan, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly crashed into by a motorbike.
Disco Dan is Luke Skywalker's real father.
Disco Dan does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Disco Dan crashed his gixxer into every tree in existance.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Disco Dan can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
Disco Dan calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Mr Poo's.
Disco Dan once went to the virgin Islands. They are now 'the Islands'
On a high school math test, Disco Dan put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Disco Dan solves all his problems with Violence.
Once a cobra bit Disco Dan leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Disco Dan.
Superman owns a pair of Disco Dan Pajamas.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Disco Dan says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Disco Dan banging your sister.
Disco Dan dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Disco Dan will not take shit from anyone.
Disco Dan doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Disco Dans PC will crash.
When Disco Dan goes cow-tipping, he lifts a cow up and drop kicks it into the neighboring farm. All the other cows simply tip themselves over to keep from having to walk back in the dark.
Disco Dan has to maintain a concealed weapon license in order to legally wear pants.
Disco Dans likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
Nope. Doest work.... damit.
Throws torch back to cowpoos...
"Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary - that's what gets you."
Jeremy Clarkson.
Kawasaki 200mph Club
Loud and Uncouth
Likewise - that's why I got bored and stopped reading after the second line, what a load of shit!Originally Posted by Big Dan
Winding up drongos, foil hat wearers and over sensitive KBers for over 14,000 posts...........
" Life is not a rehearsal, it's as happy or miserable as you want to make it"
e mare libertas
Heh, I bet he looked a lot less dented post-crash than he did in kiwifruit's driveway at 3am that morning.
kiwibiker is full of love, an disrespect.
- mikey
Forum whore
no...thats coz you southlanders can't rad...init??Likewise - that's why I got bored and stopped reading after the second line, what a load of shit!
Rest In Peace
Heh, I bet he looked a lot less dented post-crash than he did in kiwifruit's driveway at 3am that morning.
aaaaaahhh, the good ol' days when I was stup...I mean young enough to drink the night before a big event that would require all my attention...
I need a cup of tea and a nana nap now...
Loud and Uncouth
Well, at least THAT was nice and brief and easy to read....
And 'rad'? Hell we can 'rad' with the best of them!
Winding up drongos, foil hat wearers and over sensitive KBers for over 14,000 posts...........
" Life is not a rehearsal, it's as happy or miserable as you want to make it"
Forum whore
having read this i thought Cowpoos would have been tough enough to have just jumped on the gixxer and gone for a blast out in to space and let the alien race take their own sample for a man of this magnatude he should be back in time for a cold Tui (poos piss)
Rest In Peace
Nah mate...Cowpoos' so freakin' hard, the aliens come to him...
Just ask him, I'm sure he still walks funny from the probes...
Forum whore
shit i should have thought of that explains the dribble in the first placeNah mate...Cowpoos' so freakin' hard, the aliens come to him...
Just ask him, I'm sure he still walks funny from the probes...
Rest In Peace
Ssshhh...that's actually the gixxer leaking, but we don't like to talk about it...
Forum whore
Infractions or not, that is so damn true
“There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there? ”-Clerks
Here to make everything METAL
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Cowpoos--more than meets the eye, Cowpoos--robot in disguise," and starred Cowpoos as a super hero on a motorbike who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a gixxer. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however,Poo's rid the earth of the decepticons in 5mins flat,so Poo's was replace with a cartoon character instead.
Brilliant.
What you have in your heart will be revealed through what you have in your life.
If things are going badly in our circumstances, the answer to what is happening to us outwardly is more often than not found in the mirror.
Buy my bike
Cowpoos is chuck norris
SO... He a ginger.. BURN HIM..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
" yah trick yah "
Homo Sapiens Vulgaris
If cowpoos is indeed Chuck Norris I shall pity the fire!
It is preferential to refrain from the utilisation of grandiose verbiage in the circumstance that your intellectualisation can be expressed using comparatively simplistic lexicological entities. (...such as the word fuck.)
Remember your humanity, and forget the rest. - Joseph Rotblat
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