What's your most racist joke?

**Ewan Oozarmy** · 4th December 2007, 08:50

Unfortunately, world superstar stunt rider Ku Klux Knievel failed in his recent attempt to jump 124 niggers in his steamroller.

On the bright side, he did however set a new world record for laying 388ft of tarmac complete with cats eyes!

**Ewan Oozarmy** · 4th December 2007, 10:10

A woman goes into a shop and sees a gorgeous pair of white stilettos. She asks the shop assistant what material they are made of. "They're genuine human skin" says the assistant "and they cost $1500".

"I can't afford that!" replies the woman.

"Don't worry, we have them in black for $4.99"

**deanohit** · 5th December 2007, 19:18

What's orange and yellow and looks good on a hippie?

Fire.

**deanohit** · 5th December 2007, 19:18

“You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.”
George Carlin

**Usarka** · 6th December 2007, 09:17

Proudly showing off his newly-leased downtown apartment to a couple of friends late one night, a drunk Samoan led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong hanging on the wall.

"What's that big brass gong for?" one of the friend's asked.

"Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking Maori clock" he drunkenly replied.

"A talking Maori clock - seriously?"

"Yup." "Hmmm (hic)."

"How's it work? " the second friend asked, squinting at it.

"Just watch" he said.

He picked up a hammer, gave the gong an 'ear-shattering bash' and stepped back. His three mates stood looking at one another for a moment in astounded silence.

Suddenly, a Maori voice from the other side of the wall screamed,

"For f*#k's sake, you stupid coconut. It's ten past three in the f*#king morning!!!"

**gtr boy** · 6th December 2007, 13:23

why was the monkey sad

in 100 years itll turn in to a nigga

**Qkchk:Me** · 6th December 2007, 13:44

There is a Maori, Samoan and a Tongan in a brand new Commodore. Who would be driving it?

The Police

Why do Maoris have big nostrils?

'Cause they got big fingers aye bro!

**PrincessBandit** · 10th December 2007, 13:12

Three islanders were about to sit their final exam to make detective. They each went into the exam room one at a time and were shown a profile photograph of a wanted suspect. The examiner asked each one to have a good look at the photo then covered it and asked "How would you recognise this suspect if you saw him in the street?"
The first responded "Oh dat wou be easy. He only kot half a face". The examiner sighed and explained that the picture was in profile and sent the man out.
The second, when it was his turn to be asked, replied "Dat wou be too eessy, he only kot one eye an one ear". The examiner couldn't believe it, explained what a profile picture was and sent him out.
The third islander took his time contemplating the question, thinking about the photo and then replied "I fink dat he wear da contact lens". While the examiner didn't really see how this pertained to recognising the suspect he was quite impressed with this mans observation skills because the suspect did indeed wear contact lenses. "That is very impressive" he said to the candidate. "What made you come to that conclusion?"
"Well, dat is jus too eessy. He cant wear da glasses pekos he only kot one eye an one ear..."

i know, my joke telling sucks

**2up3dom** · 10th December 2007, 16:45

there was a black out in the street last night we had to stay inside till they shot him

**deanohit** · 10th December 2007, 16:50

Originally Posted by 2up3dom

there was a black out in the street last night we had to stay inside till they shot him

Yep, what do you call 10 niggers on the back of my truck?

A sucsessful hunting trip

**MSTRS:Me** · 14th December 2007, 09:25

I bought a teddy bear yesterday for $10. I named him Mohammed. Last night I sold him for $30. My question is, have I made a prophet?

**deanohit** · 15th December 2007, 22:19

please read with mexican accent
Two Mexicans are in a canteena, one asks the other.
"Have you ever heard of two guns gonzalis?
The other replies "Heard of?, I know two guns gonzalis. Let me tell you my story"
So there I was, crossing the desert on my burrow, when I look, and high on a mesa, I see a siloette on a great man, sitting on a horse. This man he rides from the mesa to me an my borrow and he points his two big guns at me and says, "get off your burrow", what could i do? he had these two big guns. Then, he says "get behind your burrow", what could I do? he had these two big guns. When I was behind my burrow he kicked it in the belly and my burrow, he shit. Then, this man, points his guns at me and he says eat. What could i do? he had these two big guns. so I eat. and while Im eating, two guns gonzalis is laughing and laughing. He laughs so hard he drops his guns. so I pick them up and point them up at this man and I say "get off your horse". What could he do? I had his two big big guns. when he gets off his horse I say to him " Get behind your horse" What could he do? I had his two big guns. When he was behind his horse I kicked it in the bellie and it shit. I pointed the guns at two guns gonzalis and said "eat" what could he do? I had his to big guns. So he ate because I had his two big guns.
So you ask me if I know two guns gonzalis?
Hell, we had lunch together

**Mole_C** · 16th December 2007, 20:24

Whats the difference between a nigger and a park bench?
A park bench can support a family of 4.

What does NZ and a box of matches have in common?
The black ones don't work.

Why do indians/asians smell funny?
So blind people can hate them to.

**Patar** · 16th December 2007, 20:53

What do you call a maori working on the power lines?
Black Power.

What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit?
The bucket.

What do you call a black guy going down a waterslide?
Shit.