mum - job description

[KATWYN]

Thankgoodness I hadn't read this prior to having my boy...cos I consider him the best thing I've ever produced and wouldn't be without him!

Well i'm expecting mine in 8 weeks! that description looks like fun - not

[007XX]

I was driving to work one morning a couple of years ago when I saw a girl, around 13, lying on a park lawn, partially hidden by shrubs. So I slowed a bit and looked closer. No movement, so I stopped.

She wasn't completely unconcious, but not really coherent either. I thought I understood her to say that she was a diebetic. As I put her in the car I thought "this can't look good". It hit me then what the true cost of society's over-reaction to the growth in poor male behaviour was: I felt like a criminal, and I hated the fact that some may have behaved differently because of that.

I called *555 on the way to the local ED and heard myself defending my actions. A nurse was waiting in the car park when I got there, the first thing she said was "It's OK, we know her, and thank you very much".

I hung around for 30min, it'd apparently been more serious than I'd thought but she was going to be fine. I was quite depressed about my own reactions though.

Only another validation (although not needed) of why I think you're one of the good ones.

Like TonyB, MSTRS, Grahameeboy, Jim2, MDU, Colapop...to name a few. You guys rock and are truly good men. Bravo for being who you are!

Awesome Mums and aaaaawesome Dads...now I'll drink to that!!

Those of you out there doing the hard yards and daily grind with/because of your kids, I salute you.
You truly do make the world go around...yes. even you, Jim2!

I've got a glass raised to that right now...may be only fruit juice, but hell give me a break, it's only lunchtime

[Number One]

Well i'm expecting mine in 8 weeks! that description looks like fun - not

I don't think it's as desperate as that paints it and the upsides are stronger, deeper and much much better than the downsides. To appreciate the good we have to have a little tough....

[KATWYN]

I've been continually told that I'm not welcome in ante-natal classes, the birthing process is none of my business,

One thing that annoys me is the idea that the birthing process involves just the mother to be.

From my experience so far men play a huge role during the pregnancy and the birth as regards emotional support. I believe the final outcome is largely due to the emotional (and physical) support he has given her during that vulnerable time.

For men to say they only played a small role in it all are underestimating themselves

[Pwalo]

Well i'm expecting mine in 8 weeks! that description looks like fun - not

Don't stress, there is no job description for being a parent, either mother or father. Well actually there are certain bits that seem to go with being male or female. Especially if you have boys.

You'll make it up as you go along, just like everyone else does. And you'll realise that your parents actually knew a few things as well. Well sometimes.

Good luck with the imminent arrival. Sleep, a lot.

[James Deuce]

One thing that annoys me is the idea that the birthing process involves just the mother to be.

From my experience so far men play a huge role during the pregnancy and the birth as regards emotional support. I believe the final outcome is largely due to the emotional (and physical) support he has given her during that vulnerable time.

For men to say they only played a small role in it all are underestimating themselves

That poem is lovely Number One, but Ocean's post shows that the damage is done. I would've rung the Police and waited for them to arrive. I wouldn't have intervened as Ocean did.

Yes Katwyn that is true, if the Midwife will allow it to happen. My wife was nearly dead when I arrived at hospital for the birth of my first because the Midwife would not talk to me on the phone after I took her BP and found it to be 180/120. Toxemia on the way. I was told in no uncertain terms that I was not trustworthy that my information was wrong and I should give her a bowl of Parsley and get her to put her feet up. I pointed out that we weren't talking labour, we were talking a serious medical condition 4 weeks out from the due date and we were coming in.

My first was delivered 20 minutes after we arrived, by C-Section. The Obstetrician had to summon a crash cart and ED team when we arrived. When I laid a formal complaint against the midwife it was dismissed because as a man I placed too much importance on medicalising the birthing process. I believe I had grounds for a criminal prosecution, but the Police refused to accept my charges. I guess two manslaughter charges were a bit much, but my wife was almost dead and my first child was also compromised as a result.

No, my opinion and help isn't wanted. It's a cultural and social issue now. No poem, however lovely is going to make me feel better about the fact that a midwife would rather my wife and child had died than have to accept that my assessment of her physical condition was correct.

[Number One]

That's bloody awful - I hope that cow isn't practising anywhere anymore!

[Pwalo]

That poem is lovely Number One, but Ocean's post shows that the damage is done. I would've rung the Police and waited for them to arrive. I wouldn't have intervened as Ocean did.

Yes Katwyn that is true, if the Midwife will allow it to happen. My wife was nearly dead when I arrived at hospital for the birth of my first because the Midwife would not talk to me on the phone after I took her BP and found it to be 180/120. Toxemia on the way. I was told in no uncertain terms that I was not trustworthy that my information was wrong and I should give her a bowl of Parsley and get her to put her feet up. I pointed out that we weren't talking labour, we were talking a serious medical condition 4 weeks out from the due date and we were coming in.

My first was delivered 20 minutes after we arrived, by C-Section. The Obstetrician had to summon a crash cart and ED team when we arrived. When I laid a formal complaint against the midwife it was dismissed because as a man I placed too much importance on medicalising the birthing process. I believe I had grounds for a criminal prosecution, but the Police refused to accept my charges. I guess two manslaughter charges were a bit much, but my wife was almost dead and my first child was also compromised as a result.

No, my opinion and help isn't wanted. It's a cultural and social issue now. No poem, however lovely is going to make me feel better about the fact that a midwife would rather my wife and child had died than have to accept that my assessment of her physical condition was correct.

Holy shit. I'm glad the boys were born prior to the whole mid wife saga, and my wife was looked after by our family doctor.

I do think that Doctors and mid wives look at the birth process entirely differently. The first as an outcome and the second as an end in itself. I've always seen birth as a time you want everything on stand by, regardless of how natural it is.

[ManDownUnder]

Mate - you did the right thing, consequences be damned. I'll tell the judge that if my day ever comes too.

I was driving to work one morning a couple of years ago when I saw a girl, around 13, lying on a park lawn, partially hidden by shrubs. So I slowed a bit and looked closer. No movement, so I stopped.

She wasn't completely unconcious, but not really coherent either. I thought I understood her to say that she was a diebetic. As I put her in the car I thought "this can't look good". It hit me then what the true cost of society's over-reaction to the growth in poor male behaviour was: I felt like a criminal, and I hated the fact that some may have behaved differently because of that.

I called *555 on the way to the local ED and heard myself defending my actions. A nurse was waiting in the car park when I got there, the first thing she said was "It's OK, we know her, and thank you very much".

I hung around for 30min, it'd apparently been more serious than I'd thought but she was going to be fine. I was quite depressed about my own reactions though.

[Ocean1]

That poem is lovely Number One, but Ocean's post shows that the damage is done. I would've rung the Police and waited for them to arrive. I wouldn't have intervened as Ocean did.

Ocean, however, declines to modify his behaviour to accomodate current prejudices. Sometimes that genuinely does make him just plain anti-social and hard to live with. But some behaviour he sees as a nescessary personal component, a point of honour.

Yes Katwyn that is true, if the Midwife will allow it to happen.

At least one... relevant facility was, at one point, staffed exclusively by members of a particular religious denomination. Several others throughout NZ substantially so. I had, (and still have) reservations about how that affected the delivery of the services supplied. The situation may well have changed in recent years, and the fact isn't required to explain simple poor performance.

[KATWYN]

All I can say is that is shocking to hear Jim; and i'm sorry you, your wife and child were put through all that!

[imdying]

*rant snipped*

Yes yes, some days the wife won't put out for the rest us too ya know... (well, not me, I've got mine properly trained and all )

[James Deuce]

At least one... relevant facility was, at one point, staffed exclusively by members of a particular religious denomination. Several others throughout NZ substantially so. I had, (and still have) reservations about how that affected the delivery of the services supplied. The situation may well have changed in recent years, and the fact isn't required to explain simple poor performance.

If anything it has gotten worse. You can see why they used to burn them at the stake now.

[James Deuce]

Yes yes, some days the wife won't put out for the rest us too ya know... (well, not me, I've got mine properly trained and all )

I haven't got time for luxuries.

[imdying]

I haven't got time for luxuries.

Yeah... it's sounding very much like you should start making time