Mental Health

[HTFU]

I don't know why you've chosen my posts to over-analyse

This now rates as my second biggest mistake in the past 3 weeks. I've outed myself as mental on a bike forum. I did the same thing at work in an attempt to lower my stress levels and just got told to go find another job because they aren't interested in carrying me.

Fuck you. Let me know if you ever fall off so I can come and have a good fucking laugh.

Could it be I made a general IMHO post about my personal take on mental illness and this was your reply.

Just because a thread is about mental illness doesn't mean its all about you, even if you happen to have one. Sure you have an understanding of it, but in my opinion you know everything about you and you problems not mental illness.

My point is the biggest problem with mental illness is we classify it, a throw back to early medicine and science. Since we getting all personal, reason I find it hard to take mental illness know it alls seriously and especially on here - I spent my early years visiting my mother in Kingseat hospital in Karaka as the doctors fucked her up on medicine. Because they said she had this disorder etc etc. Poor bitch was in an abusive relationship that meant she had no social contact and never worked outside the house. Would make anyone go mental. Surprise surprise that when she got out on her own, no medicine required.

Old man spent a few years in Tokanui and my brother just came back from Drug and Alcohol rehab, but wait there's more..... None have been helped by people trying to say what mental disorder they have got.

I am just very skeptical of all the so called experts, including those with problems that seem to be able to in very medical terms describe their condition. You get told or tell yourself something enough times you will believe it.

Again IMHO - mental illness is individual, there is no two illnesses alike, similar maybe and easy for someone to classify and label but not the same.
Again - millions of individual cells and millions of individual experiences = millions of individual illnesses.

Getting all wound up so easily on here can't be very productive, surely.

[Mikkel]

NO! You're all wrong... Mental illness is an illusion, it's a term coined by THEM!!! You must not fail to understand that... fuck, gotta run - the inquisition is here to pump homosexuality poison gas into my house...

p/t

On a more serious note. I've known several people with various issues and while it is extremely hard to relate to what they are going through, you don't actually have to understand it. Lending an ear and treating them like the equal human beings they are, is the best thing you can do. But the fear of the unknown can certainly be a challenge in doing that.

On the other hand, there are people out there with "depressions" who don't have the first clue about what a real clinical depression is like and these people seriously need to HTFU and get going indeed. "Life sucks, get a fucking helmet!".... and buy a motorcycle!
(I'll take no resposibility for that prescription, but it seems to have worked for myself...)

[HTFU]

NO! You're all wrong... Mental illness is an illusion, it's a term coined by THEM!!! You must not fail to understand that... fuck, gotta run - the inquisition is here to pump homosexuality poison gas into my house...

p/t

On a more serious note. I've known several people with various issues and while it is extremely hard to relate to what they are going through, you don't actually have to understand it. Lending an ear and treating them like the equal human beings they are, is the best thing you can do. But the fear of the unknown can certainly be a challenge in doing that.

On the other hand, there are people out there with "depressions" who don't have the first clue about what a real clinical depression is like and these people seriously need to HTFU and get going indeed. "Life sucks, get a fucking helmet!".... and buy a motorcycle!
(I'll take no resposibility for that prescription, but it seems to have worked for myself...)

Yeah - thats what I meant.

[Ocean1]

This now rates as my second biggest mistake in the past 3 weeks.

Second biggest?

In 3 weeks?

You, sir, are a bloody amateur.

A promising one to be sure, though, so I'm prepared to make myself available occasionally for coaching, should you wish.

I did the same thing at work in an attempt to lower my stress levels and just got told to go find another job because they aren't interested in carrying me.

They're idiots, ethically clueless ones, with apparently no knowledge of emploment law. What will you do about it dude? Seems unlikely it's going to be a good place to be in the long term...

Think I'd be tempted to just say fuckem, toss it to a lawyer and go find a better job.

[skidMark]

It's really funny actually you've all gone off your nut in this thread blah blah it's just thgis it's just that...blah blah blah....

you don't have any problems as an outsider you have no understanding...

you think you do

oh just HTFU.....yeah sure

it's not as simple as that.

without having the problems you cannot understand them.

you guys obviously pay no attention to know me before you judge me ad's

you are trying to push aside things saying oh it's just mind set or whatever.

you don't understand, don't try to.

the reason i do so much stupid shit is because of my conditions...i have chemical imbalance...it makes my brain think that way.

do you get it?

it's howi think...i don't want to think the way i do, buti cannot change it, i am hard wired this way.

it is unchangable.

you cannot understand it.

i don't know how to explain it and i apoligize for that.

[James Deuce]

They're idiots, ethically clueless ones, with apparently no knowledge of emploment law. What will you do about it dude? Seems unlikely it's going to be a good place to be in the long term...

Think I'd be tempted to just say fuckem, toss it to a lawyer and go find a better job.

Yes they are, but they are renowned for it and have in fact been taken to the cleaners repeatedly.

However this is not a good time of year to be looking for work, and now that the "word" is out I will probably find it an uphill battle to be employed anywhere else in my field of expertise in Wellington. It's a small place.

Then there's the bills. Sometimes you have to just have to take it and keep going because it isn't all about me.

[Ocean1]

Yes they are, but they are renowned for it and have in fact been taken to the cleaners repeatedly.

I find I agree with almost none of the current employment legislation, but behaviour like that deserves special attention. Not because they believe they're simply avoiding an unfair cost, but because they've got no fucking idea how to manage a resource.

However this is not a good time of year to be looking for work, and now that the "word" is out I will probably find it an uphill battle to be employed anywhere else in my field of expertise in Wellington. It's a small place.

Then there's the bills. Sometimes you have to just have to take it and keep going because it isn't all about me.

Not sure how narrow your field is, or how competitive the market. I'd expect anyone worth working for would employ someone who's good at what they do, if the price is right, even if part of the price is unconventional.

So what... just keep the ear to the ground until an alternative comes up?

[jazbug5]

I

the reason i do so much stupid shit is because of my conditions...i have chemical imbalance...it makes my brain think that way.

do you get it?

it's howi think...i don't want to think the way i do, buti cannot change it, i am hard wired this way.

it is unchangable.

you cannot understand it.

i don't know how to explain it and i apoligize for that.

Okay- I'll bite. At what age were you diagnosed, and what with- exactly?

Do the professionals who did so really believe that you have no option other than to simply follow your first impulse, regardless of how stupid and self defeating it is?

Thing is, a lot of this stuff about labelling kids with 'disorders' and then expecting nothing of them after that rings bells for me; just spent a year working in a school. It was funny how many of the kids who had 'ADD' or similar also seemed to have useless parents. The trouble was, many of these kids then seemed to take it on board that good behaviour was neither expected nor required for them, and they'd never get anywhere in life anyway, so what the hell?

Asperger's, well. That's such a wide spectrum. I have two friends bringing up kids with severe forms of this, and I know how hard it is for them. At the other end, I know people with it who are incredibly successful.

One of my closest friends has ADD, and, I suspect, some of the traits of Asperger's. He is a very high level cancer research scientist and geneticist.
He attributes much of his success to his unique way of looking at problems and to aspects of his ADD.

So how many of your limitations are self imposed? Genuine question.

[skidMark]

Okay- I'll bite. At what age were you diagnosed, and what with- exactly?

Do the professionals who did so really believe that you have no option other than to simply follow your first impulse, regardless of how stupid and self defeating it is?

Thing is, a lot of this stuff about labelling kids with 'disorders' and then expecting nothing of them after that rings bells for me; just spent a year working in a school. It was funny how many of the kids who had 'ADD' or similar also seemed to have useless parents. The trouble was, many of these kids then seemed to take it on board that good behaviour was neither expected nor required for them, and they'd never get anywhere in life anyway, so what the hell?

Asperger's, well. That's such a wide spectrum. I have two friends bringing up kids with severe forms of this, and I know how hard it is for them. At the other end, I know people with it who are incredibly successful.

One of my closest friends has ADD, and, I suspect, some of the traits of Asperger's. He is a very high level cancer research scientist and geneticist.
He attributes much of his success to his unique way of looking at problems and to aspects of his ADD.

So how many of your limitations are self imposed? Genuine question.

none are self imposed i want to get somwhere in life, i just lack the ability to keep to it, i cannot hold down a job because i either piss people off or just loose interest.

it pisses me offi wish i could sort it out buti just can't

i do have high functioning asperges syndrome, family history of it, was diagnosed at about 11 with ADD then at i think about 12 or 13 got diagnosid with asperges also, it's well proven these are what i have no doubt there.

problem being i get obsessed with things because of the asperges , it's been bikes for a damn long time.

i hate having to talk about this, but was hoping it would mean people would understand me a bit better, i know it's not an excuse, but i cannot change what i have unfortunately.

[Disco Dan]

"Mentally disabled people's greatest disability is how the wider community treats them".

Thats right.

What a crock! If the preformance here is anything to go by, there is not much chance of understanding is there? Some good comments here and plenty of not so. I've worked as a nurse in the local mental health system and I have read a fair bit. I do know that its not an exact science and there is plenty that is not understood. As for the comments regarding HTFU, thats just indicative of someone who knows feck all, but wants to share their opinion.

So very common - even within the MHS itself, there are people working that know flob all about what they are preaching.

You know my conditions Disco. How can friends learn to understand me better or be prepared for when the lows hit when I am out socialising?

I like to isolate myself from society, but they insist on being at my side etc.

Should I just turn my back and run like I do or let them see me in that state?

We all have times when we just want to be by ourselves - it starts to become "isolation" when you start to plan to be by yourself instead of meeting friends etc.

Disco - I think the general membership on KB is simply representative of society at large. Mental health still has a stigma and is poorly understood even in families where it occurs.

Coupled with that, this forum is fairly robust and liberally moderated which means abusive dismissive posts are par du course. Unfortunately that is part of the fun and vulnerable people get dissed by unthinking lunks.

On the other hand look at the Depression thread and there is virtually no abuse at all. In fact it is so constructive that it is worth pointing non-bikers to just for the strength of the discussion.

I agree with your plea for understanding.

DD, I know you haven't met me, but I normally don't get annoyed with people. This KB'er has managed to push me to the point where I no longer want any thing to do with him, as I have told him today. But he has gone to my friend saying he is going to commit suicide... So, what do you think the best option is: A:Ignore him, B; Rush to his obvious negative attention getting pleas and or C; Give him helplines number?

I will not do B.


Those who know him will know what I'm talking about.

Note: Mods, if you feel this post is inappropriate and or "a leap to conclusion" then feel free to remove. And to any one else, if you feel this post isn't appropriate then I will delete it myself :P

It would be very unwise for anyone to give advice on an online forum about this! But generally speaking - if someone goes around telling people they are going to commit suicide they are (generally) after attention - those that are silent and will just 'do it'. But there are exceptions!! There are always exceptions!

ps - all the mental health workers i've met are crazier than the rest of us put together

That is true - a lot of my collegues have had/have a mental illness of some description during their life.

Me? You dont want to know about me!! Im pretty odd at the best of times. I prefer "eccentric".

I would be very interested to read some research into MH workers being a bit "mad"...

[Her_C4]

I did the same thing at work in an attempt to lower my stress levels and just got told to go find another job because they aren't interested in carrying me.

Their loss - they don't deserve you or your honesty. No Jim2, not all Wellington businesses/IT shops are backward thinking, ice age mammoths that sre closed minded enough not to see that the benefits of employing you (and your expertise!) far and above outweigh any perceived negatives.

However this is not a good time of year to be looking for work, and now that the "word" is out I will probably find it an uphill battle to be employed anywhere else in my field of expertise in Wellington. It's a small place.
.

Yes it certainly is a small place but then often its not always just a matter of 'what' you know .... if you combine that with 'who' you know you may suddenly find yourself with an advantage.

Whilst I am no longer in a position to personally offer the opportunity to apply for a role, I can however put you in touch with a couple of consultants that may be able to show you that the light at the end of tunnel is in fact NOT an oncoming train??

Let me know - happy to help if I can

[Disco Dan]

I posted this in another thread somewhere, but it is quite interesting....

It is commonly known that if you have ever heard someone call your name (when they did not or no-one there), or your sitting watching tv and see something move out of the corner of your eye that is not there etc - that you are more likely to develop a mental illness - ie hear voices, hallucinations etc (sp)

Just last night I was watching television and thought I saw a spider (or something similar) on my bedside table next to me - when I looked, all I saw was a black head of a nail in the wooden top.... it does not make me mad - just more likely to develop a diaganosable illness in the future.

[Edbear]

none are self imposed i want to get somwhere in life, i just lack the ability to keep to it, i cannot hold down a job because i either piss people off or just loose interest.

it pisses me offi wish i could sort it out buti just can't

i do have high functioning asperges syndrome, family history of it, was diagnosed at about 11 with ADD then at i think about 12 or 13 got diagnosid with asperges also, it's well proven these are what i have no doubt there.

problem being i get obsessed with things because of the asperges , it's been bikes for a damn long time.

i hate having to talk about this, but was hoping it would mean people would understand me a bit better, i know it's not an excuse, but i cannot change what i have unfortunately.

Maybe you cannot "change what I have", but you can treat it. You have a defeatist attitude which puts you in the 'negative' group. To every solution you see a problem, whereas the 'positive' group is vice-versa.

Knowlede is power, because knowledge brings choices. Ignorance is weakness because you have no choices, you don't know what to do about it. I have yet to see a mental illness or condition that cannot be treated and improved if the person is willing to learn and apply. Many noted figures throughout history suffered from mental illness or handicaps and it was their attitude and perseverance that gained them great achievements.

Have you noticed that for every sufferer of ADHD the behaviour is negative and self-destructive? My son suffers from ADHD and back in the '70's it wasn't recognised. He was 6 in '81 before the medical profession finally worked out what was going on with these kids and he was tested and diagnosed. Yet once he began treatment, he changed, his attitude was to cooperate with his diet and medication as he understood what was happening to him and didn't like it.

He has never, as far as I can remember, been on the Dole and applied himself to work and training despite missing out much of the basic schooling. His attitude impressed a forman where he worked as a metal-polisher who then gave him a chance with personal interest and one-on-one training. Mike worked hard and really applied himself. He gained his welding ticket and has been a welder for many years now.

He still has learning difficulties, but is positive and responsible, ("cept his flat is still a bombsite!!!), and has been supporting himself since he was 18, now 32.

You don't have to accept your disability, Mark, you can do something about it and you can be whomever and whatever you want to be. Big question is, "Are you prepared to put in the self-discipline and effort required?"

.... it does not make me mad - just more likely to develop a diaganosable illness in the future.

No, it doesn't. It simply demonstrates that the peripheral vision plays tricks at times...

[yungatart]

the reason i do so much stupid shit is because of my conditions...i have chemical imbalance...it makes my brain think that way.

Have you tried Magnesium?
It can be very successful in treating disorders along the Asperger's Spectrum.
It can also have the opposite affect, but would surely be worth a try.

[Sketchy_Racer]

the reason i do so much stupid shit is because of my conditions...i have chemical imbalance...it makes my brain think that way.

This is a classic example of the coput that so many use as a 'excuse' almost for the actions they make.

Now, i'm not saying that you don't have your conditions, and that they don't affect you thought chain.

But things like driving while disqualifyed, that is a stupid decision, and you KNOW that you're not supposed to do it. Conditions or not, it is not an excuse for that sort of stupid decisions.

I know quite a few people now that suffer from mental illness, and although i don't understand what it is like for them , there are definatly two types of them as far as i have seen

ones that deal with it and get on with life as best they can. They don't moan about it or constantly use it as an excuse for a bad decision etc. It must be hard for them, but they do well, and im proud of them

Then there are the ones that sit on their bums saying "why always me, my life is so bad, no one loves me, it's all my conditions fault".
Funny thing is they're the ones that get the most support, but they're also the ones that are likely to chuck it back in your face. and then moan when no one will listen to them.

-Glen