Need your opinion. (religious debate)

[Fub@r]

Do I break this guys bones or let it slide for now?


Ok heres the situation:

I have an ex from many years ago and I have a young son who is nearly 10. A few months after I left my ex she hooked up with this guy thats nearly 15 yrs her senior, don't have a problem with that either. She has since had two kids to this guy as well and is supposedly going to get married next year after 7 yrs together.

This guy is shit scared of me even though I have never threatened him etc I can only assume my ex is spinning the usual crap so we don't ever talk and he finds out what a liar she is. Anyway moving on.

Picked my son up for the xmas holidays and out of the blue he starts going on about how Jesus died for us etc etc, and it didn't sound like a 10 yr old sentence but more like something that has been drummed in to him. So I ask him who had told him this. He tells me its his mothers boyfriend. My son then also tells me that according to him dinosaurs never existed and the bones they find are fake etc. This is confusing him as I've taught him about dinosaurs etc

Since hearing this I have been stewing as I want to go around there and take this guys head off, at least then he would have an excuse to be scared of me.

What would you do if this happened to your son?

[onearmedbandit]

Give him my opinion of things, tell him different people have different beliefs, and that he is at the age where he can make his own mind up about his beliefs.

Why would you want to take his head off over it?

[Fub@r]

Why would you want to take his head off over it?

Someone trying to influence my son when I'm not around really grates me. If he wants to do that to his kids so be it, but what gives him the right to push it on my son?

[skelstar]

Maybe your son was listening and it wasn't pushed? Whatever you think what does it teach your son by taking another mans head off?

Best thing you can do is act resonable/rational/responsibly. Be a good example for him, not an idiot...

[200BUSA]

I have been in the same situation with my daughter,You have to let it slide they make there own mind up the older they get.If you go blowing your stack then that will get your ex's back up and cut off visitation.It happened to me when i was going to deck my ex's new hubby(the bloody religious freak).Gut wrenching as it is -take a chill pill and let your son know the facts and he will decide.They dont like religous crap shoved down there throat.

[crashe]

Give him my opinion of things, tell him different people have different beliefs, and that he is at the age where he can make his own mind up about his beliefs.

I agree.........

Best thing you can do is act resonable/rational/responsibly. Be a good example for him, not an idiot...

I agree........


Heck they even teach them about dinosaurs at school.....
I also think some schools do go a little bit into the religious side of things of christmas as well.

Someone trying to influence my son when I'm not around really grates me. If he wants to do that to his kids so be it, but what gives him the right to push it on my son?

Teachers and all adults influence kids over all sorts of things..... to help teach them right from wrong, teach them education. etc etc.

Unfortunately for you..... this dude sees your son alot more than you do....
so he may think that he is doing it right....

If possible, how about a nice sit down chat with his mum and the b/f to discuss calmly and rationally about what and how you want things discussed with your son.

[Fub@r]

Maybe your son was listening and it wasn't pushed? Whatever you think what does it teach your son by taking another mans head off?

Best thing you can do is act resonable/rational/responsibly. Be a good example for him, not an idiot...

Don't worry I wouldn't do it literally, just need to get it off my chest.

I went to a methodist boarding school for 7 years, we were taught religion and I decided science was the answer to me. The difference here though is my parents decided to send me there knowing the curriculum, I don't knowingly send my son to my ex's BF for religious teachings

Unfortunately for you..... this dude sees your son alot more than you do....
so he may think that he is doing it right....

Luckily because my ex is more interested in child support money more than my son he spends half the time in her custody with his grandmother, so in effect I have the same amount of time with my son as my ex. But that is another rant I have given up on due to the fucked up IRD and Family Court systems

[skelstar]

I suppose you should also consider that this is about your son and not you. Sounds harsh but if the guy is talking to him about religon, it can be a positive thing despite it not being your thing. Maybe I'm not making sense.

What does your real life friends say? The ones that know you and your situation?

[Fub@r]

For me its not so much whether religion is right or wrong even though my son has already mentioned (with a chuckle I might add) as to how this guy can believe that dinosaurs are fake. I suppose that is a plus side.

I don't raise my son to be anti-religion just as I wasn't expect someone to promote anti-science if you understand what I'm getting at.

I suppose my anger is coming down to an "external" person undermining me and how I choose to raise my son.

I know this will sound like the typical ex-dad rant but my ex is only concerned about where the money is not her kids. For example she wanted to take my son to Bali for a holiday straight after the Bali bombings because she wasn't paying for it!

Me having a word to her about this will be a waste of time as there is nothing between the ears to capture my words

[Fub@r]

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.ph...3ec66c2d0afd56

maybe this vid clarifies it

[PrincessBandit]

Sorry to hear about this situation for you. It sounds so awfully frustrating that you seem to have so little hands-on control over it. A lot will depend on your son and his developing "world-sense" - some 10 year olds are completely trusting of anything they're told, others are a bit more savvy. Try not to make anything you say to your son into a personal attack on the b/f as, even if he talks total shite, if your son likes him then it will automatically have him defensive. I agree pretty much with onearmedbandit - try the cool, calm, everyone-has-their-own-beliefs- thing, encouraging him at this young age to question and think things through for himself.

[Conquiztador]

I'm single dad with 4 kids. One of them (10 yo) has taken a liking to Christianity. I am atheist. He will tell me re God and Jesus, how they created all. I tell him that I am OK with him beliving in God, but I do not belive he exsist. I also tell him that there is many different religions in the world. And that they all have one thing in common: They try to tell you that it is the only one. I have also told him re things religions have caused (and still do). But I make one thing clear: Whatever he chooses has no bearings on my love for him, and whatever religion (or not) he decides is for him should also allow the same for him.

It is not what you believe in that you are measured against, but what you do.

[HDTboy]

[ynot slow]

Goes to prove that religion is the cause of all wars,you were going to rip his head off(war),this is p/t.

As a kid you look to teachers and adults for guidence,you tend to believe what the teachers say is gospel,I mean they are allways correct(tui moment).

Then the parent has to explain that is not quite correct and the kid gets another angle on it.

Hell my dad is 65 and I still wouldn't know who he votes for,so in our house politics wasn't an issue,but the secondary teacher I had was adament national caused this or that,labor was doing this for us scenario(in the late 70's),so sitting school cert was fun at time with stupid ravings given by teachers pushing their own ideals on us.

Best advice with split families is to let them have all the facts and they can make up their minds,the only good thing with dis jointed family life is the differing aspects of a subject arising,and this must be good for the childs learning,getting more than one perspective,even though we may not agree.

[Steam]

Tell your kid to say one single word... "Why?"

The religious types will soon run out of answers and resort to "Because of God", which is very unsatisfactory for a kid.
We got told not to ask questions at Sunday School.