Suicide stories

[Conquiztador]

People who say it is a selfish act have absolutely no idea of the pain etc that the suicidal person is going thru - until you have walked in their shoes - been where they have been - never judge. They shouldn't take their life cos you care for them? Well the world does not revolve around you - or me. None of us can control another person's thoughts or actions - and frankly I personally have no desire to (manipulate and control people).

OK, I can see both sides. And everyone has the option to end it if they so choose to. But it is a selfish decision. Selfish mening that they only considered them selves. If they have children, parents, brothers, sisters, partners, their decision will affect the ones left behind in ways that will scar them for life.

Try to explain to children why mum/dad killed them selves. It does not matter what you say they will think it was because of them.

If life was tough and a partner is left behind to alone keep it going. Does it suddenly get easier because the other one killed them selves?

When a brother/sister who you have grown up with kills them selves, does that not leave an empty place that will never be filled?

Suicide is not a solution. OK, I can understand the reasons when one has a disease/illness that is robbing you of your life. But suicide is not a option when looking at career decisions. "Now what should I do, should I go to Otago, should I take an apprentisechip, should I do the OE or is suicide the right option?" To encourage someone to kill them self makes you part of murder.

[Usarka]

Everything we do is selfish at the core of things. People are only nice to others because it makes them feel better as it reaffirms own values and beliefs. Or because one wants to maintain a relationship that you get a lot out of.

Want to hear about suicide stories. Talk to london train drivers, poor fuckers.

[Hitcher]

I am not aware (joking aside) of anybody who would offer suicide as a career choice or an option for anything. People just aren't wired that way.

And in terms of the "selfishness" of it, I don't think it's appropriate to judge other people's actions or decisions around taking their own lives. Their mental state must have been at an unbalanced point anyway (comparatively) for them to feel compelled to believe that death was a solution for whatever it was they thought was troubling them.

Yes, the impact on surviving family and friends can be traumatic and devastating. Particularly in one instance I am familiar with where the suicider's 5 and 7-year-old were the first to discover him hanging from the ceiling in the garage. A rational person would not have wished that to be the case. A rational person would also not have killed themselves.

Terms like "selfish" and "pointless" are value judgements made by people of comparatively sound mind and body and add nothing, in my opinion, to a meaningful discussion of the phenomenum that is suicide.

[vifferman]

Yes, the impact on surviving family and friends can be traumatic and devastating.

That's the thing that's stopped me when I've felt close to 'ending it all'. Especially after the husband of a close friend of my sister's killed himself, due to financial / career problems. One of his daughters said afterwards: "Mum - we weren't that bad, were we?"

[jim.cox]

I dont think I know anyone who has

That probably puts you in the minority then

Hope you manage to keep it that way

While topping yourself is not restricted to just this country, it does seem to be an all-too-common occurance here

[enigma51]

That's the thing that's stopped me when I've felt close to 'ending it all'. One of his daughters said afterwards: "Mum - we weren't that bad, were we?"

People who "end it all" (due to depression or something similiar) have lost all ability to reason like you did and thats the hardest part to deal with for a familly as they will feel like they have failed that person which is so far from the truth.

[Blue Velvet]

Just forget about it (suicide) it is contagious and very bad for your health!

There used to be on average in the Waitaki Valley about one a year, always on the agenda somewhere and right across the age groups, no pattern, just repetitive!

Lately there has been no talk of such events and the incidences have almost ceased. (thank goodness)

My opinion is that talking about these things only seems to increase the happenings.

The waste and anguish is horrific, put it back in the closet where it belongs.

Focus and talk about happy things, because what you think about and talk about HAPPENS! John.

I think it's precisely this attitude that makes suicidal people retreat further within and feel more alienated.

Perhaps suicides have almost ceased in your area because only the deluded happy remain?

I'm not dissing you personally, but I feel that the macho, brush it under the carpet approach is not the answer...

[007XX]

I think it's precisely this attitude that makes suicidal people retreat further within and feel more alienated.

Perhaps suicides have almost ceased in your area because only the deluded happy remain?

I'm not dissing you personally, but I feel that the macho, brush it under the carpet approach is not the answer...

Ok, not that I want to start an argument. But I think you will find that John was meaning this in a light hearted way.

What I read of his post is partly a truth. The reason I can say this is because I have experienced it myself.

Negative breeds and feeds off negative. When a person with a negative frame of mind is gently encouraged to think positively, about the good things in life, often it will help with the healing process.

However, should that person surround herself with other negative people and take part in solely negative discussions, then this will definitely worsen her situation as the frame of mind will become a "dead end" one.

I do not think that John meant it to sound like he is against therapy or any help of that sort which involves talking issues out.

[stify]

. I am just saying never judge a man til you have walked a mile in his shoes and if you can be a should to cry on or an ear to listen please take the time to do so. You might make a huge difference in someone life.

Having support and understanding like that from people who dont judge me has allowed me to start my journey in life and I thank them all, it's a day by day thing,but it's worth getting out there and living it.

[Conquiztador]

The ones of you that consider suicide an option to solving someones problems (again, not including someone who has a incurable desease or disability that is robbing them of their life) are part of the problem. You make suicide OK. You allow suicide to be an option. You are saying: "Hey, it's OK to kill your self if you can't handle it".

I have ppl around me who have been affected by suicide, I have been affected by it. Not once was that the only option. Not once was the outcome: "That was the best solution for all!!" There is always something to live for. Find the reaons, how small. All the issues can be solved.

Mental illness is a tricky one. What is it? A broken leg is a broken leg. You either have a broken leg or you don't. But mental illness, there is no clear line between "well" and "sick". We are all on a sliding scale and our ability to cope is what makes us function or not. You can be further down the scale of mental illness but have the ability to cope, or you can be at the top of the "well" part of the scale, but just are not equipped with the coping mechanism. Being mentally ill does not allow you to see things clearly. I know those who have tried suicide when they were sick. When they got better they were soo happy that they did not succeed.

To think that suicide is a normal part of life, of the times we live in, is totally wrong. There should be none (not taking in to account the ones mentioned in first paragraphe).

[Badger8]

Some very interesting discussion indeed, and kudos to all for keeping it clean and above board. This topic affects most of us to a greater or lesser extent.

I have seen more than my fair share in my short life unfortunately, growing up in northland we had a pretty high rate. I couldn't count on one hand how many people i knew went through with it and 'succeeded' (some after a few tries).
Some were no surprise, and these were often the ones who took a few tries to get it right (intentionally or not, i mostly dont know).
Some were complete surprises, until you find out what they'd been hiding for the last month/week/days. They took a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and i think it was those ones that hurt the most. Often there wasn't really anything in the way of danger signs, even in retrospect (how can you offer someone help if you nobody knows they need it?)

i have personally come close a few times in my life. Thankfully most times i had enough mental function left to look at the repercussions of those i had seen go down this path, and think better of it. Either that or i was too chicken to actually go through with it.
I haven't been at the point where i considered it as a viable options for about three or four years now, but there have been times it has crossed my mind. There are times when the dark clouds close in and my brain just doesn't function in it's normal way. It just refuses to comprehend that there could actually be someone out there who cares about me, that there is any future for me from here, that i am ever going to get anywhere, the list goes on. Close yourself off from the world for a few days and hear that inside your head 24 hours a day, it's enough to drive most anyone to think about it.

i just thank God that i never went through with it. That i was strong enough to come through it each time, and emerge a stronger person because of it. i am finally coming to a point in my life where i can start to see the good within myself, start to see the potential for the future, but the depression monster still rears it's ugly head from time to time. Some days it's easy, some days it's a fight, but you gotta keep on pluggin away. There is so much better ahead for you, even though you may not be able to see it right now, you never know what awaits you just over that hill ahead of you.

[LilSel]

I have lost too many friends to suicide... sadly family too

[jrandom]

I got depressed once, so I killed myself.

Worked a treat.

[mstriumph]

you know, you moderators, real or imaginary, ASTOUND me ...... can you PLEASE tell me why this post was banished to 'pointless drivel' whilst the rest of this thread was not??

i posted :-

insofar as the topic is concerned though, things happen, people react to them differently and the same people might react differently to the same happening at different times ......

if the decision is an irrational one,
those making it need help support and understanding

if the decision is a rational one, those making it don't need our commentary or interference

the problem, as always, is in knowing the difference.

I agree with Hitcher, though, that chucking around blameful and judgemental words helps nothing.

is this personal??

[kevfromcoro]

Just forget about it (suicide) it is contagious and very bad for your health!




My opinion is that talking about these things only seems to increase the happenings.

The waste and anguish is horrific, put it back in the closet where it belongs.

Focus and talk about happy things, because what you think about and talk about HAPPENS! John.

true John...never a true spoken