Percentages

**Big Dave** · 9th January 2008, 21:23

0.02%

The amount of young people watching at home when Martin Crowe says 'for those young people watching at home.'

0.006%

Amount of people actually unfamiliar with the rules of any given televised event where the commentator says 'for those of you unfamiliar with the rules....'

Carry on: Any good sporting blooper welcome.

And remember - 87.3% of statistics are made up on the spot.

**Virago** · 9th January 2008, 21:42

A recent study found that 30% of the population are good at maths, 40% are mediocre, and the remaining 47.2% are absolutely crap at maths...

**Virago** · 9th January 2008, 21:52

0.0001% of people actually understand the soccer off-side rule.

68.92% of people think they understand it, and will argue about it for hours...

**Maha** · 9th January 2008, 21:57

Originally Posted by Virago

0.0001% of people actually understand the soccer off-side rule.

You are off side when you are not on side....0.0001% is a lonely place!.....

**Waylander** · 9th January 2008, 21:59

Originally Posted by Virago

0.0001% of people actually understand the soccer off-side rule.

68.92% of people think they understand it, and will argue about it for hours...

If you're in front of the ball and the only opponent in front of you is the Goalie, you're offsides.

**onearmedbandit** · 10th January 2008, 07:52

So you're tapping the ball up to the goal, the only person in front of you is the opposition goalie, and you step in front of the ball, are you then off-side?

**MisterD** · 10th January 2008, 08:25

Originally Posted by Big Dave

0.006%

Amount of people actually unfamiliar with the rules of any given televised event where the commentator says 'for those of you unfamiliar with the rules....'

Interestingly, the only sport where this doesn't apply is rugby. The commentator will never, ever utter this phrase during a rugby match but the percentages of people understanding the laws are as follows:

Officals: 66.6%
Players: 37.5%
Commentators:25%
Viewers / spectators: 12%
NZRFU officals: 5% (rises to 30% if your reference point is the laws of 1934)

**Virago** · 10th January 2008, 08:32

Originally Posted by Virago

0.0001% of people actually understand the soccer off-side rule.

68.92% of people think they understand it, and will argue about it for hours...

Originally Posted by maha man

You are off side when you are not on side....0.0001% is a lonely place!.....

Originally Posted by Waylander

If you're in front of the ball and the only opponent in front of you is the Goalie, you're offsides.

Originally Posted by onearmedbandit

So you're tapping the ball up to the goal, the only person in front of you is the opposition goalie, and you step in front of the ball, are you then off-side?

83.67% of that 68.92%, are members of KiwiBiker...

**Big Dave** · 10th January 2008, 10:00

Originally Posted by MisterD

Interestingly, the only sport where this doesn't apply is rugby. The commentator will never, ever utter this phrase during a rugby match but the percentages of people understanding the laws are as follows:

Officals: 66.6%
Players: 37.5%
Commentators:25%
Viewers / spectators: 12%
NZRFU officals: 5% (rises to 30% if your reference point is the laws of 1934)

Two veiws isn't there - Rugby evolves or Rugby has been fixed till it's broke.

**riffer** · 10th January 2008, 10:32

Originally Posted by Big Dave

Carry on: Any good sporting blooper welcome.

Sure. How about that time when Peter Willey was bowling to Michael Holding...

Brian Johnston probably still dines out on that one -

"The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willey..."

or any of a million times Murray Mexted is commentating.

**MisterD** · 10th January 2008, 12:30

My favourite cricket blooper:

Yorkshire 232, Hutton ill...I'm sorry, Hutton 111.

**BIGBOSSMAN** · 10th January 2008, 13:17

Not quite a blooper, but maybe the funniest comeback to Australian sledging in the history of comebacks to Australian sledging:

Aussie paceman Glenn McGrath was bowling to Zimbabwe number 11 Eddo Brandes - who was unable to get his bat anywhere near the ball. McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired: " Why are you so fat?"
Quick as a flash, Brandes replied: "Because every time I fuck your wife, she gives me a chocolate biscuit ."
Even the Aussie slip fielders were in hysterics.

**Sanx** · 10th January 2008, 13:26

Originally Posted by BIGBOSSMAN

Not quite a blooper, but maybe the funniest comeback to Australian sledging in the history of comebacks to Australian sledging:

Aussie paceman Glenn McGrath was bowling to Zimbabwe number 11 Eddo Brandes - who was unable to get his bat anywhere near the ball. McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired: " Why are you so fat?"
Quick as a flash, Brandes replied: "Because every time I fuck your wife, she gives me a chocolate biscuit ."
Even the Aussie slip fielders were in hysterics.

That is an absolute masterpiece. If there's a Cricket Hall of Fame, or something similar, Mr Brandes should be in it just for that.