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Thread: For the fellas!!!

  1. #1
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    18th August 2006 - 15:51
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    For the fellas!!!

    THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

    Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

    Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

    There is no fast food.

    Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money.

    In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

    Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time.

    Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment . He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they're about to leave for vacation). He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

    Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

    The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

    There is only one TV between them, and a remote with dead batteries.

    Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons.

    The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, which they will apply to themselves either while driving or making three lunches.

    Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

    Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed. The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing.

    During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it in the purse.

    They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

    He will need to read a book and then pray with the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00. They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.

    A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's
    name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

    They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better.

    They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, "You're not the boss mof me".

    The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

    If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years...eventually earning the right to be called .................................................. ......

    MOTHER!
    GET ON
    SIT DOWN
    SHUT UP
    HANG ON

  2. #2
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    4th August 2005 - 22:21
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    Couldn't read all that. Lost interest.

    If this thread is for the fellas' then wheres the boobies dammit.

  3. #3
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    2nd April 2005 - 11:58
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    BOOOO!!! Was hoping for Jen's...

















    witty reply...
    They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old.
    Age shall not weary them nor the years condemn.
    At the going down of the sun and in the evening,
    we will remember them

  4. #4
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    what he said
    Steel and Bullets
    <! !>

  5. #5
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    19th September 2006 - 22:02
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    Quote Originally Posted by MyGSXF View Post
    THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES
    Each one of those is in my book of reasons not to have kids... plus 1000's of others

  6. #6
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    13th June 2006 - 09:37
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    I note that every single one of those tasks is optional, even the cramps and monthly bleeding. And a single daily pill can put an end to that.
    Mother (or whoever the caregiver is) can decline any of those tasks at any time. It's all pressure she's putting on herself. The father can look after them, or other streetkids, the state will give you caregivers if you're really incompetent, blah blah. THe kids don't need to do sport, you don't need to go to church, etc etc.

    Blame yourself for your suffering, not your gender.
    Determined to kill my bike before it kills me

  7. #7
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    18th August 2006 - 15:51
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    Whadda bunch of ferkin softcocks!!!!
    GET ON
    SIT DOWN
    SHUT UP
    HANG ON

  8. #8
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    2nd April 2005 - 11:58
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    No big deal - I got kids... been there done that!
    They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old.
    Age shall not weary them nor the years condemn.
    At the going down of the sun and in the evening,
    we will remember them

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by MyGSXF View Post
    THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

    Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.
    So far so good. Looking easy.

    Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.
    Rugby and Cricket... Fortunately for kids these don't overlap. Classical music and ballet, and again, no conflict.

    There is no fast food.
    Weetbix IS fast food.

    Each man must take care of his 3 kids;
    No problem there.
    keep his assigned house clean,
    Give the kids their chores, job done.
    correct all homework,
    Teachers responsibilty.
    complete science projects,
    The kids do their own projects
    cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money.
    What's new?
    In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.
    Weetbix for the kids, Speights for the dad. Problem solved.


    Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time.
    That's what a diary is for.

    Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment
    9 hours total in six weeks? That is easy
    and a haircut appointment
    . DIY, all fixed.
    He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they're about to leave for vacation).
    Hey, we even get a vacation while on vacation? Sweet.

    He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.
    New World do that for us.

    Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house,
    A Kiwibiker Calender will suffice.
    planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.
    Plastic ones. They don't need watering, weeding or anything else.

    The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
    As the kids are resposible for doing the chores, they will be tired and go to sleep nice and early.

    There is only one TV between them, and a remote with dead batteries
    . Men already know how to replace batteries.

    Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons.
    Google.

    The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, which they will apply to themselves either while driving or making three lunches.
    Sorry, I thought this was for MEN. No man would be seen dead with makeup and shaved legs. No need to go further as there will be no entrants. We can't understand why women would want to do this to themselves. They don't have to.


    What an easy set of tasks to win to start with, Then the rediculous ones start, the ones that only women would want to do.
    Time to ride

  10. #10
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    eloquently put
    With my beer tinted glasses I'm ready to biddy battle,
    I'm hungry like the wolf, but I'll end up tending cattle!

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jantar View Post


    What an easy set of tasks to win to start with, Then the rediculous ones start, the ones that only women would want to do.
    Without doubt, the best breakdown quote i have ever seen....answered with the knowledge and capability of a real bloke...

    Bling Awarded

  12. #12
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    wheres the for the fellas bit....wheres the naked ladies? posing on zx10r's and MV agusta F4 1000 Senna's?????

  13. #13
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    16th September 2006 - 18:46
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    Should have added the obvious... NO SEX for 6 weeks!!! See how long they last then...

  14. #14
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    13th February 2006 - 13:12
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    i have 3 boys, 15 yo twins and a soon to be 13 yo

    monday : school soccer first 11 practise
    tuesday : school hockey first 11 game
    wednesday : school soccer first 11 game, club soccor practise x 2
    thursday : junior hockey practise, club soccer practise, otago hockey practise
    friday : junior hockey, first 11 hockey practise
    saturday : club soccer 3 games at same time 3 different places
    sunday : otago soccer practise/ games, otago hockey practise/games


    welcome to my world, my wife works full time, im self employed so i take time off and run the boys about, also cook dinner 3 or 4 times a week

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by jimjim View Post
    welcome to my world, my wife works full time, im self employed so i take time off and run the boys about, also cook dinner 3 or 4 times a week
    Of course, but how about shaving your legs, applying makeup, wearing jewlery etc?
    Time to ride

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