Suzuki B-King meets Hitcher. Finally...
I’m looking for some relevant comparison. Or a natty metaphor or simile but I am really struggling to find something suitable. The reason for my quandary is that yesterday I took a Suzuki B-King for a fang.
Let’s go with a Marian Jones meets Dolly Parton meets Katarina Witt analogy. Indulge me, please.
Much has been written about these bikes by Uncle Tom Cobbley et al. Some people like the looks of them. “Aggressive and eye-turning,” they say. Others hate them with a passion. “What were they thinking?” they say. That’s the Dolly Parton bit. "Joleen, I’m begging of you please don’t take my man…"
Me? I don’t mind the B-King’s looks. The whole bike is ultimately pointless, and therein lies its charm and point of difference from run-of-the-mill squid bikes, UJMs or something cooked up in Europe. It can’t carry a pillion, wear a tank-bag or throw-over panniers and would look ludicrous with a Ventura pack-rack fitted. But I am sure they will make one. And somebody will buy one and fit it. The B-King clearly isn’t designed to take you anywhere with anything more than what one can get in one’s pockets.
The B-King is an inverse Tardis: it looks big, but it isn’t. It’s certainly voluptuous. Dolly Parton again. "Out on the street, the traffic starts jumping." I found it cramped, and would be doing some immediate modifications to bars and pegs if I were to make one my own. The seat height is lowish and would be lower if it was narrower.
The only things a new rider needs to take stock of is the A-King/B-King switch (the Marian-Jones-on-steroids or not), and a most unusual instrument cluster with all manner of numbers, bars, letters and flashing geegaws. The most useful part of this would be the gear-position indicator, if it wasn’t hidden behind the brake lines and throttle cables.
For the purposes of my ride, I went with the A engine management setting. “Those pipes” certainly don't contain any hint of rortyness or offensive noise emissions. The bike handles well at low speed, thanks to a combination of low centre of gravity and front end rake and trail settings.
Suzuki has earned rightful plaudits for its new 1340cc engine developed for this and the Hyabusa. Somehow the gearbox hasn’t received similar recognition – it’s gorgeous. A match made in motorcycle heaven.
After nerdling along some suburban streets, the open road approached and it was time to wind on a bit of throttle. Oh. Fuck. Me. Definitely Marian Jones. On steroids. Injected with a hot needle into a particularly sensitive part of her pudenda. And no screen. I felt a bit like a salmon trying to swim up the Niagara Falls.
I was disappointed in the throttle response and “feel”. I actually prefer my FJR in that regard. But there is no doubting the willingness of the B-King’s mill to give its all. Endlessly. And quickly. And very smoothly. Whoar.
Stopping power is OK, largely due to the bike being comparatively light and the front brake being able to do most of the work. The rear brake on my test bike was vague with way too much play in the pedal and a bit of pumping required to get grab happening. One shouldn't have to have right foot like Stewart Copeland to ride a bike of this class.
Cornering and handling are absolutely brilliant. Mr Suzuki has obviously devoted a bit of time to this department. This is the Katarina Witt part of the show. Part of my usual test regimen for a bike is the “carving cats-eyes” test. Cats-eyes are generally spaced uniformly on New Zealand roads. Waiting for a clear stretch of road, so as not to upset motorists, I start at about 60kmh and then slowly up the speed, until I start clipping cats-eyes. A good performance (given my limitations as a rider) is usually something between 70-80kmh. At 95kmh on the B-King I had had enough, engaged third gear and decided to do something else.
Other observations? Yes, the pegs can be made to touch the ground. Thank-you Mr Lee Pakaraka for providing an appropriate part of the test circuit for this facet. And, in almost typical Suzuki style, the mirrors are shite. A bike of this standard, and cost, deserves better.
Did I have fun? Oh yes. Indeed I did. The B-King rules its class, whatever that is, currently a class of one.
Would I buy one? No. While it is hilariously great fun to ride, it doesn’t do anything I really need a bike to do.
Despite its obvious performance, which it exudes even while at rest, this bike has no demons. It’s just a big pussycat. A cut one.
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...but dare to use it - definitely a crime 
yes huge improvement on the rear end looks if factory pipes seemed a little odd.
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