Understanding women?

[007XX]

Aaaaahhh...don't you just love the good ol' classics?

[Disco Dan]

Tell her to stop being a fecking 'sally sensitive' and take her back and get a replacement.

Plenty of birds out there that understand men better. Yes ladies.. its not just some men that have trouble understanding...

you finished ironing my shirts yet? Make sure you do in between the buttons.

[trump-lady]

Sorry mate, I am honeslty not laughing at you, just the situation...you poor bugger!

I can't tell you why your missus would have done a Hiroshima on you...I barely understand why I do sometimes
But there are two possibilities here:

1- she got offended at your very relaxed declaration of lust for someone else than herself. No, women in general do not have a sense of humour about these things...I personally thought it'd be hilarious if hubby said that, but eh, that's just me.

2- She's nearing that time of the month, and even barracudas have a more comprehensive sense of humour...she's feeling bloated, fat and her brain makes look to her own eyes like Greenpeace shoudl be sharing her bed, not you.

And then of course, it could be both at the same time, in which case, she won't forgive you for another say 2 weeks.

One advice for any time of the month: keep the humourous citation of other bodacious (and one may assume younger) beauties for your mates.

Good luck!

Agreed and wanna add something:
Often women blow up over something small because there is another bigger issue that hasnt been addressed that you may not even be aware of. Take a few minutes to think of your partners mood, behaviour and recent behaviour (or your lack of it) and you might find there is a root cause.

If you cant think of one adress the issue.

Honey I know you got upset with me this morning and Im sorry that I offended you but I cant help but wonder if theres something else bothering you...or something to that effect.

It very well could be that theres no reason.....we do that sometimes

Sugest a dinner out and youll be back in the sack that night.

[007XX]

Agreed and wanna add something:
Often women blow up over something small because there is another bigger issue that hasnt been addressed that you may not even be aware of. Take a few minutes to think of your partners mood, behaviour and recent behaviour (or your lack of it) and you might find there is a root cause.

If you cant think of one adress the issue.

Honey I know you got upset with me this morning and Im sorry that I offended you but I cant help but wonder if theres something else bothering you...or something to that effect.

It very well could be that theres no reason.....we do that sometimes

Sugest a dinner out and youll be back in the sack that night.

very good point!

However, I would suggest a thing or two when trying to air something she's not talking about:

First, be prepared for another explosion...cos she'll think you should know already, blah, blah...

Secondly, pick your time right and be patient...you might have to put up with a decent amount of verbal diarrhea before getting to the bottom of it, but listen and pay attention!!!

Then, go and have dinner...trying to have a potencially volatile discussion in a public place is a recipe for disaster.


Oh and also, sometimes, there is just no underlying reason...we're just grumpy, tired and want our mate to listen to us cry and then bring us a cup of hot chocolate (or tea if she's feeling fat ) and really make us feel like he's on our side...

It may seem like hard work, but if you really love each other, it's just the sort of thing you'll get from being in a relationship.

[Pwalo]

OK so I started the Sudoku in this morning Chch Press, then went to make a coffee n the missus says she'll do the Sudoku n asks where it is. I say "it's under Maria Sharapova, where I'd like to be".......and all hell breaks loose. go figure, did I say something wrong ?? (female opinions greatly appreciated)

Look you must be extracting the Michael. You spoke. You are wrong. Apologise.

Quit while you are ahead.

[Coyote]

You have MV's and Ducati's so the women is obviously a cow and into you for the money. Sack the bitch.

[bungbung]

How can you not know what's wrong? typical bloody male you're so insensitive etc. etc.

Does my co-worker dislike me? he gave me a box of Lion red.

[vifferman]

go figure, did I say something wrong ??

Sounds like you are looking for a sensible answer, and some logic, so you can understand what mistake you made, and not repeat it, and understand your woman. That's a very wise thing to do.



And entirely a waste of time.

Quit while you're ahead.

This happened for no reason, or for some reason entirely unrelated to what you said, like she "knows someone who has a vaguely Russian-sounding name and the bitch is really pretty and skinny and it's not fair".

Next time something like this happens, it will be for some other entirely unrelated reason. So if you make a note to yourself, "I must not make references - no matter how flippant - about having relations with other women", you're wasting your time. The rules will be entirely different next time, because guess what?!?!

There are no rules.

There is no logic.

Women are subject to slight changes in the weather, the phases of the moon, the barometric pressure, the temperature, the relative humidity, etc., none of which are detectable by even the most sensitive and expensive scientific instruments. And these 'influences' are inconsistent and random.

They're also subject to influence by the stock prices in Kazakstan, the change in luminosity of a star 173,472 light years away, how many grains of sugar they put in their coffee this morning, and the exact position of each hair in their left eyebrow. (Next Wednesday, it will be their right eyebrow, then next time the moon is full, their eyebrows will never again have any bearing on what they say, feel or think, unless of course you happen to comment on them.)

Just learn to say, "Yes darling". "No dear", "Sorry, my precious." "I was wrong." "You were right." etc etc.

Of course, it won't fix things, but if you're lucky, it might make the fallout a bit easier to bear.

Or not.

[007XX]

Women are subject to slight changes in the weather, the phases of the moon, the barometric pressure, the temperature, the relative humidity, etc., none of which are detectable by even the most sensitive and expensive scientific instruments. And these 'influences' are inconsistent and random.

They're also subject to influence by the stock prices in Kazakstan, the change in luminosity of a star 173,472 light years away, how many grains of sugar they put in their coffee this morning, and the exact position of each hair in their left eyebrow. (Next Wednesday, it will be their right eyebrow, then next time the moon is full, their eyebrows will never again have any bearing on what they say, feel or think, unless of course you happen to comment on them.)

Just learn to say, "Yes darling". "No dear", "Sorry, my precious." "I was wrong." "You were right." etc etc.

Of course, it won't fix things, but if you're lucky, it might make the fallout a bit easier to bear.

Or not.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to conceal the sudden burst of mirth (created by your post) from my co workers, in an office that's about 3 x 5?

You gonna get me in trouble!!!

[Dilligaf]

You're all wrong.

Clearly you have not been giving her enough mate.... that's why she's upset that you want to be underneath someone else - she's tired of waiting her turn...

[Pwalo]

You're all wrong.

Clearly you have not been giving her enough mate.... that's why she's upset that you want to be underneath someone else - she's tired of waiting her turn...

I think he said that he was talking about his wife.

[Dilligaf]

I think he said that he was talking about his wife.

Ahah, you see this is where you men go wrong.
MVman says that in a conversation with his missus this morning, he drops the comment that he'd like to be under Ms Scharapova (sp?) whereupon the missus spit the dummy. He couldn't figure out why...

I am simply saying that perhaps Mrs MVMan needs a 'bit' not jokes about him giving it to other females.

Or am I to understand Pwalo that you don't give your missus any either?

[SPman]

and don't get started on toilet seats..........................

[vifferman]

Yes, that would be good.

[MSTRS:Me]

Dear Abby...Are all women the same?
Dear PoorBastard...Essentially. Yes.
Dear Abby...Homicidal maniacs?
Dear PoorBastard...Essentially. Yes.
Dear Abby...Oh.
Dear PoorBastard...Was that a question?
Dear Abby...Umm...No??