Understanding women?

[MVnut]

OK so I started the Sudoku in this morning Chch Press, then went to make a coffee n the missus says she'll do the Sudoku n asks where it is. I say "it's under Maria Sharapova, where I'd like to be".......and all hell breaks loose. go figure, did I say something wrong ?? (female opinions greatly appreciated)

[Laava]

She has no sense of humour. Is she German?

[nodrog:Me]

OK so I started the Sudoku in this morning Chch Press, then went to make a coffee n the missus says she'll do the Sudoku n asks where it is. I say "it's under Maria Sharapova, where I'd like to be".......and all hell breaks loose. go figure, did I say something wrong ?? (female opinions greatly appreciated)

i think you need this thread

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/sh...ghlight=lawyer

[autos]

must be the weather mate, mine had a hormone explosion last night and threw all her toys out the pram over well , not quite sure but me not cleaning the shower in the last three weeks was in there somewhere!! hmmm,

[YellowDog]

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish." Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

[99TLS]

DONT, never will

[Joni]

It's too late mate, you gotta train em right from the start...

Yes master.... woof woof!

[007XX]

OK so I started the Sudoku in this morning Chch Press, then went to make a coffee n the missus says she'll do the Sudoku n asks where it is. I say "it's under Maria Sharapova, where I'd like to be".......and all hell breaks loose. go figure, did I say something wrong ?? (female opinions greatly appreciated)

Sorry mate, I am honeslty not laughing at you, just the situation...you poor bugger!

I can't tell you why your missus would have done a Hiroshima on you...I barely understand why I do sometimes
But there are two possibilities here:

1- she got offended at your very relaxed declaration of lust for someone else than herself. No, women in general do not have a sense of humour about these things...I personally thought it'd be hilarious if hubby said that, but eh, that's just me.

2- She's nearing that time of the month, and even barracudas have a more comprehensive sense of humour...she's feeling bloated, fat and her brain makes look to her own eyes like Greenpeace shoudl be sharing her bed, not you.

And then of course, it could be both at the same time, in which case, she won't forgive you for another say 2 weeks.

One advice for any time of the month: keep the humourous citation of other bodacious (and one may assume younger) beauties for your mates.

Good luck!

[007XX]

Hey, I didn't say it doesn't go both ways!

Ok then... bend over!!!

[Rashika]

...did I say something wrong ?? (female opinions greatly appreciated)

see now THERES ya problem, you ASKED what you said wrong... you know you shouldn't do that

[Stirts]

you in da dog box!!!

My advice? Get some KY cos you not gonna get any for sometime by the sounds.

[oldrider]

Next year I will be Seventy, I still have no idea what the answer to your question is!

Avoidance of the situation is a learned (but unexplainable) behaviour! Good luck. Cheers, John.

[Coyote]

http://www.heretical.com/miscella/onwomen.html

Funny thing is if I was a women posting up a similar link but about men, I probably wouldn't be getting red rep soon.

[Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)]

I'm still laughing - enjoyed your sense of humour and quick wit. I don't understand why she got septic.

[Swoop]

Top 10 things you'll never hear one guy say to another guy:

10. She'll never understand that sometimes I just want to cuddle.

9. Our team lost 10-1. But we tried our best, and after all that's the important thing.

8. I'm deeply offended by young women who go braless.

7. You know what always makes me cry? Those long-distance commercials.

6. Want all my tools? I just realised I never do anything useful with them!

5. There's nothing I like more than a quiet evening at home, watching a movie on Lifetime about some woman who gives up her baby and then suffers miserably.

4. I think those big, jacked-up trucks look ridiculous.

3. I can't stop fantasising about Dr. Ruth!

2. I'm tired of beer. What say you to a nice, fruity Chablis?

1. Does my butt look fat in this?
---------------------------------------------------
Top 10 things you'll never hear one woman say to another woman:

10. I wish he wouldn't waste all that money on chocolate and flowers and buy something practical, like an iron.

9. I can't wait for the play-offs!

8. He talks our relationship to death! It's making me crazy!

7. We're redecorating the bedroom, and he keeps bugging me to help him with the colour choices!

6. I'm sick of dating doctors and lawyers! Give me a good old-fashioned waiter with a heart of gold any day!

5. He earned more than I do, so I broke up with him.

4. If he doesn't let me hold the remote, I get all moody.

3. His new girlfriend is thinner and better looking than I am, and I'm happy for them both.

2. Oh, look, that woman and I have the same dress on! I think I'll go introduce myself!

1. That swimsuit really flatters your figure! Would you mind keeping my husband company while I go for a swim?