Your IDEAL relationship model - please read first post before responding to poll

**Bikernereid** · 31st January 2008, 23:10

What can I say in repsonse to such a wonderful post!!! Thanks hun!!

Originally Posted by jrandom

Goddammit, I hate it when you're right.

**Edbear** · 1st February 2008, 07:15

Originally Posted by DougB

My fifty years married anniversary is later this year.We are still in love and have never cheated.

If you are lucky enough to find the right person this is the way to go and I think luck has a lot to do with it.

Bikes had a lot to do with us, two wheels was our only means of transport. We traveled the road from Kaitaia to Auckland often over all sorts of roads. The arrival of children made bikes inpractical, I still kept the bike but had to get a cage.

My beloved is proud of still having her motorcycle licence but, unlike me she, does not ride now at age 70.

Oldest guy on this forum

Originally Posted by oldrider

Congrats Doug, it's our 44th tomorrow. Cheers John.

Congrats and respect to you both, (and your long suffering wives...

) We've only been married thirty years, but then we're just youngsters...

Personally, my opinion is that promiscuous sex is all about selfishness and self-gratification. Such a person really doesn't care about their "target" despite any protestations to the contrary. If someone wants to get into your pants, he, (and yes it's predominantly males), will say anything and men are usually clever enough to fool a girl into thinking he is serious and genuinely cares for her when the truth is he just wants to satisfy his own sexual desires. The girl is no more than a sex object and sadly, far too many girls fall for it!

If a man really cared about a girl he would be doing what is in her interests, not his. Unfortunately this calls for something called self-control, unselfish motive and genuine love and care, sadly lacking in many these days.

Rant over, as you were...

**Coyote** · 1st February 2008, 07:46

Originally Posted by 007XX

Oh it most definitely is, especially if you have empathy. I often think that being an uncaring b*tch would help, but I very quickly give up the idea

I've often thought similar. Having no emotional ties, just being promiscuous, not giving a damn if I hurt anyone emotionally, just every weekend I'd go out and get mine. Life would be easier besides going to the clinic every morning after.

But no, I give too much of a damn. My girlfriend has been up in Auckland since Sunday and thoughts of her have taken over my usually bike ridden mind

**007XX** · 1st February 2008, 08:12

Originally Posted by jrandom

Goddammit, I hate it when you're right.

....*falls off chair*........

(but yes, she has a very good point there!)

Originally Posted by Bikern1mpho

What can I say in repsonse to such a wonderful post!!! Thanks hun!!

Print it, then frame it...and place it on your wall in remembrance!

I've often thought similar. Having no emotional ties, just being promiscuous, not giving a damn if I hurt anyone emotionally, just every weekend I'd go out and get mine. Life would be easier besides going to the clinic every morning after.

Eeerrr...every morning after wouldn't be quite enough, what with the incubating period for some STDs beign as high as 6 months and all that...But yes, I get what you're saying. Never was I one who had the stomach for it though.

But no, I give too much of a damn. My girlfriend has been up in Auckland since Sunday and thoughts of her have taken over my usually bike ridden mind

Excellent!!! Ain't love grand? I'm sure you'll find room for both...

**Wolf** · 1st February 2008, 08:31

Originally Posted by GIXser

where is then option" im a trannie and i love ladyboys ??? this is discrimination you know...

Sorry, GIXser, forgot you were here...

Originally Posted by Bikern1mpho

Were would you place having threesomes as being acceptable in this poll?

Sounds like some form of "poly" relationship if long term.

**Waylander** · 2nd February 2008, 23:14

The day has come to an end
The sun is over my head
My polyamorous friend
You got me in a mess of trouble again

[Chorus:]
So
Just when you think that you're all right
I'm crawling out from the inside
I never hurt anyone
I never listen at all

They've come to get me again
The cloud is over my head
My polyamorous friend
You got me in a mess of trouble again

[Chorus]

Just stay away from the white light
I'd say your worst side's your best side
I never hurt anyone
I never listen at all

Well how do you know?
Well how do you know?
Well how do you know?
Well how do you know?

[Chorus]

Just stay away from the white light
I'd say your worst side's your best side
I never hurt anyone
I never listen at all
Let's go

**Wolf** · 3rd February 2008, 06:52

Ah, "Breaking Benjamin".

**carver** · 3rd February 2008, 11:08

im non committal and a swinger!

**Oakie** · 3rd February 2008, 17:15

Monogamous here thanks.

In case you're wondering, at this time 143 men have voted on this pole with 102 voting monogamy while 38 women have voted with 29 going monogamy.
Percentage wise that means 71% of men and 76% of women have ticked the monogamy box. Closer than I thought it would have been when the poll was started.

**Wolf** · 3rd February 2008, 23:42

Originally Posted by Oakie

Percentage wise that means 71% of men and 76% of women have ticked the monogamy box. Closer than I thought it would have been when the poll was started.

Yeah, I've been calculating the percentages as well and it looks like monogamy is far from "outmoded" in the kiwibiker ranks.

**Bikernereid** · 3rd February 2008, 23:48

I would be interested to see how many of those people who voted for monogamy are on thier first marriage, and if they are divorced was cheating part of the reason for the marriage breakdown. But that is a very personal subject and not really something for a poll on here.

And I never said marriage was 'outmoded' I just asked a question!! Glad to see that people are still happy with what they have no matter what they may be, althought one mans meat is another mans poison still seems to be apt for this subject.

Originally Posted by Wolf

Yeah, I've been calculating the percentages as well and it looks like monogamy is far from "outmoded" in the kiwibiker ranks.

**Big Dog** · 4th February 2008, 02:02

I have not read the whole thread but here are my scattered thoughts.

Can you feel something for someone other than you partner?
Does that mean you feel any less for your partner?
Can you really be honest with your partner if you have to lie about it?
Will it affect the lives of the children of the people involved?

I voted polyamorous.
Not becuase I want to have 10 wives or husbands.
Not becuase I want the wife to have ten wives or husbands.

Because every relationship I have ever been in there were lies from me about how I feel, and from them about what they feel.
I would rather live in a world where the person I love the most can tell me, "I like this person and would like your permission to persue it" and vice versa than live in a society constrained by a one love approach.

Love is of no value unless it is freely given.

**RiderInBlack** · 4th February 2008, 06:20

"There can only be one" for me, cause it's dam hard just keeping one happy (God knows I've tried) let alone two or more.
My relationships end well before the cheating stage. Is far as I'm concerned if ya can't respect ya partner enough not ta cheat on them, then it is not a relationship.
Have had bed buddies/f*ck mates (what ever ya like ta call it). They are all well a good as long as both of ya are not overly committed to each other. Dam well hurts if if ya fall for a Bed Buddy and they don't want ta commit (been on both sides of that so know what that's like).

**Wolf** · 15th February 2008, 18:43

OK, the poll closed on Valentine's Day and here are the results.

Of the 193 respondents, 78.76% were male, 21.24% were female - no idea if that's a proportionate sample of current KB membership.

Within the male "population" (that subset of KBers that are male and responded to the poll), the results are as follows:

Monogamy: 71.05%
Some form of Poly[gamy/gyny/andry/amory/fidelity]: 11.84%
Swinging: 5.92%
Non-commital: 7.89%
(making a total "Consensual non-monogamy" of 25.66%)
Cheating: 3.29%

For the females' part:

Monogamy: 78.05%
Some form of Poly[gamy/gyny/andry/amory/fidelity]: 2.44%
Swinging: 9.76%
Non-commital: 4.88%
(making a total "Consensual non-monogamy" of 17.07%)
Cheating: 4.88%

Monogamy is way out in the lead for both sexes with a greater percentage of men being open to consensual non-monogamy than women and a higher percentage of women than men being partial to non-consensual non-monogamy (aka "infidelity").

What does this mean?

Who knows? Perhaps we on-line bikers who actually respond to polls tend to be a "conservative" lot

Thanks to those who responded to the poll and those who posted (here and in private), it has been most interesting.

**Edbear** · 15th February 2008, 18:50

Interesting results, and I suspect that a poll of most morality, or serious, issues would be of a similar proportion. Think, vandalism, stealing, childrearing, work ethics, etc. It seems it is indeed the "minority who spoil it for the majority" on most issues.