Your IDEAL relationship model - please read first post before responding to poll

[Mikkel]

Dunno. Personally I ticked the poly-something...

I guess it should be seen as this: If I could have 5 female partners and they all were cool with it - awesome!
I'm happy with my current partner, and I doubt she'd be interested in that kind of arrangement... so chances that it's going to happen are pretty slim.

And then do mankind a favour by gunning down the filthy little oxygen thieves who ticked the last option.

So it's ok for men to cheat - but not women?

[jrandom]

Hmmm, bloody women eh!

Well, of course, it'd depend on how hawt they were. I mean, maybe I'd just be keen on a go...

[Stickchick]

So it's ok for men to cheat - but not women?

Are you not aware that when a male cheats, he is a stud and when a female cheats she is a slut.

I don't condone cheating of any kind. As Judecatmad says, get out of the relationship beforehand.

[ManDownUnder]

It's still no excuse for cheating tho - I'm a true believer in being committed to the person I'm with, through good, bad and ugly. If I want more, I need to get off my chuff and out of the relationship I'm currently in. Why would I hurt the one who has put so much trust and faith in me just to get whatever may be lacking?

I'm not saying that your above scenario applies to my relationship, but that I disagree with your justification of cheating.

But hey, if we were all the same, life would be pretty boring, eh?! Each to their own

... just talking all around the point... but ..

It is an interesting one because it places values on moral dilemmas (and I've heard quite a number of variations on this theme... tis an interesting one!)

Does one satisfy the moral obligation to provide parental support to a family at their own personal emotional cost, put the emotional satisfaction above the responsibilities as a parent, or try to find a discreet solution that is morally challenging yet resolves both needs?

It's also very interesting to see how many women go through a change of some sort where their libido goes from zero to hero (often in their 30's or 40's per the original monogomy thread)... and hear some of the stories that happen as a consequence.

There is also a whole line of argument that says there is a moral obligation for a partner to keep their spouse/betrothed other satisfied. In the traditional vows - "my body I give to you" and "to have and to hold"... at what point is a person entitled to put conditions on WHEN they are to be had and held etc?

They most certainly have those rights of course... but where that line is - that's not really described so it's another aspect to the moral balancing act to be considered.

Arguably the best thing to do is is (as you say) put your hand up, get help and deal with the problem in front of you before changing the ground rules on a partnership or whole family dynamic.

It is fun to look at this stuff from all angles? Who is to say what's "right" or "wrong"? I know what my personal guidelines are, but what right do I have to expect everyone around me to adhere to them?

(sorrry JCM - sounds like I'm beating you up - not at all... )

[Mikkel]

Are you not aware that when a male cheats, he is a stud and when a female cheats she is a slut.

I don't condone cheating of any kind. As Judecatmad says, get out of the relationship beforehand.

I wasn't stating my opinion on the subject of cheating...

I was merely pointing out that the way jrandom had written his sentenced it seemed that he was opposed to women cheating more than men...

I.e. "the last option" vs. "the last two options".

[ManDownUnder]

None of the cheating that I've been directly involved in or known of first-hand was due to either of those reasons.

I think you need to go back to the drawing-board.

Would love to hear more... being the purveyor of misery I suspect I am LOL!

Over a Steiny pure or three?

[007XX]

I'm tempted to see what it'd take to bribe him for the list.

Me thinks you'd be barking up the wrong tree there my friend, no matter the price!

And then do mankind a favour by gunning down the filthy little oxygen thieves who ticked the last option.

Oh boy, here we go again...you are becoming predictable sweetchicks...

None of the cheating that I've been directly involved in or known of first-hand was due to either of those reasons.

I think you need to go back to the drawing-board.

Hmmm...maturity and experience versus petulence and close mindedness...


C'mon MDU, this could get interesting

[jrandom]

So it's ok for men to cheat - but not women?

Not at all.

But you might notice that no men have yet ticked the cheatin' option.

Could that be because the male psyche does not lend itself to desiring the evil rush of successful deception?

[Oakie]

Just remember you poly-whatever guys, (and poly-whatever does imply close relationship) that for each 'significant-other' you have, there is also the significant other's mother. That's why I can't understand polygamists. I mean three wives is probably pretty hard work but HEY ... three wives means three mothers-in-law. Why would you do that to yourself?!

[jrandom]

close mindedness...

Hang on, how is it close-minded for me to point out that none of the cheating situations I've been personally involved in are adequately described by MDU's theory?

[jrandom]

the way jrandom had written his sentenced it seemed that he was opposed to women cheating more than men...

Oh dear, believe me, that implication was entirely unintentional.

[Mikkel]

Not at all.

But you might notice that no men have yet ticked the cheatin' option.

Could that be because the male psyche does not lend itself to desiring the evil rush of successful deception?

Either that or it could be used as an argument in the old case for men being smarter than women...

...or bigger pussies... erm, let's say pansies instead - more appropriate.

[ManDownUnder]

Hang on, how is it close-minded for me to point out that none of the cheating situations I've been personally involved in are adequately described by MDU's theory?

Maybe it's my ignorance (i.e. my not know the situations you refer to) she's referring to. Either way it's not a bother to me... if i have something to learn... teach me!

[007XX]

Not at all.

But you might notice that no men have yet ticked the cheatin' option.

Could that be because the male psyche does not lend itself to desiring the evil rush of successful deception?

Or could it be that women are more honnest about it? Once again, always two sides to a story...

Hang on, how is it close-minded for me to point out that none of the cheating situations I've been personally involved in are adequately described by MDU's theory?

Because you told him to go back to the drawing board, implying his perspective was wrong...it is his perspective and you have yours...neither are wrong, just your own. With ope mindedness, you would have conceded to this from the start.

Oh dear, believe me, that implication was entirely unintentional.

Hmmmm...you do that sometimes...

[Mikkel]

Not at all.

But you might notice that no men have yet ticked the cheatin' option.

Could that be because the male psyche does not lend itself to desiring the evil rush of successful deception?

Hang on, how is it close-minded for me to point out that none of the cheating situations I've been personally involved in are adequately described by MDU's theory?

Oh dear, believe me, that implication was entirely unintentional.

Btw. - there's this nifty "MULTI-QUOTE" thingy-mabob on these new-fangled fora...