Your IDEAL relationship model - please read first post before responding to poll

[judecatmad]

(sorrry JCM - sounds like I'm beating you up - not at all... )

Nah m8, not at all I know you well enough to know that hypothetical discussion is possible without you pounding your 'opponent' into the ground!

It is interesting to see others' values, yes. I saw too much hurt caused by my father's cheating to ever be able to do that to someone I'm in a relationship with. That's where my staunch morals come from and I have lost friends in the past over a difference in values. It's only as I get older that I have come to realise that I cannot expect the whole world to take my stance!

And hey, what's with this belief that a woman's libido goes from zero to off the scale in her 30s or 40s?? Mine was rampant in my 20s - the only trouble was, most of my 20s nobody was interested!!!!

[Mikkel]

Because you told him to go back to the drawing board, implying his perspective was wrong...it is his perspective and you have yours...neither are wrong, just your own. With ope mindedness, you would have conceded to this from the start.

That's where you're wrong V!

[Mekk]

Just remember you poly-whatever guys, (and poly-whatever does imply close relationship) that for each 'significant-other' you have, there is also the significant other's mother. That's why I can't understand polygamists. I mean three wives is probably pretty hard work but HEY ... three wives means three mothers-in-law. Why would you do that to yourself?!

Polyamorous relationships don't necessarily entail marriage.

[ManDownUnder]

And hey, what's with this belief that a woman's libido goes from zero to off the scale in her 30s or 40s?? Mine was rampant in my 20s - the only trouble was, most of my 20s nobody was interested!!!!

LOLOL... "STAND BACK - THIS ONE'S GOING TO BLOWEXPLODE!"

[007XX]

That's where you're wrong V!

bring it on Junior...

[jrandom]

you told him to go back to the drawing board, implying his perspective was wrong...it is his perspective and you have yours...neither are wrong, just your own.

Ah, you take the wrong implication from the 'back to the drawing board' comment. I implied that MDU's model of motivations was incomplete, not incorrect.

Certainly the reasons he gives are very understandable and have likely been significant motivations for many people.

I would suggest that the area Nigel fails to plumb, there, is the depths of stupidity and downright evil that can sometimes come into play in such situations. From both men and women. Neither are better than the other, to be sure.

In fact, if I recall correctly, sociological research suggests that more men than women cheat, although the women who do cheat get it on with far more partners than the men (makes sense, I suppose, if one has a small pool of amoral women servicing a larger pool of amoral men).

Now, before we go any further, can I just stipulate that I am not in 'stir the kinksters up' mode in this thread, and that y'all can just relax?

Seriously, though, I do wonder whether the average male cheater and the average female cheater do tend to operate from different motivations.

I have some personal stores I could share, if y'all promise not to be too mean to me...

[Mikkel]

bring it on Junior...

Nah, couldn't do that to an old girl like you...

[ManDownUnder]

I have some personal stores I could share, if y'all promise not to be too mean to me...

Would love to hear some, but understand if a public forum is a bit too public. Those involved would need to not be KBers for instance...

[jrandom]

LOLOL... "STAND BACK - THIS ONE'S GOING TO BLOWEXPLODE!"

Three partners of mine have testified to a 'sexual awakening' involving a more relaxed and self-assured approach as well as an apparently-better-functioning body kicking in at around 27 years old.

I have also, er, 'been with' a reasonable number of young (< 23) women who have definitely had issues with sexual responsiveness.

There's my contribution to the data; make of it what you will...

[jrandom]

Those involved would need to not be KBers for instance...

No idea what you're talking about, there, old bean; I would only ever speak in entirely general terms.

[007XX]

Ah, you take the wrong implication from the 'back to the drawing board' comment. I implied that MDU's model of motivations was incomplete, not incorrect.

Certainly the reasons he gives are very understandable and have likely been significant motivations for many people.

I would suggest that the area Nigel fails to plumb, there, is the depths of stupidity and downright evil that can sometimes come into play in such situations. From both men and women. Neither are better than the other, to be sure.

In fact, if I recall correctly, sociological research suggests that more men than women cheat, although the women who do cheat get it on with far more partners than the men (makes sense, I suppose, if one has a small pool of amoral women servicing a larger pool of amoral men).

Ah, now I undertstand...and agree.

Now, before we go any further, can I just stipulate that I am not in 'stir the kinksters up' mode in this thread, and that y'all can just relax?

Seriously, though, I do wonder whether the average male cheater and the average female cheater do tend to operate from different motivations.

I have some personal stores I could share, if y'all promise not to be too mean to me...

You're not???? aawww man... I was already slipping into my Dominatrix outfit!

Oh well, I'll be nice then...

Nah, couldn't do that to an old girl like you...

That a boy!!! We wouldn't want you getting a proper spanking and going off to sulk, now would we?

[Mikkel]

That a boy!!! We wouldn't want you getting a proper spanking and going off to sulk, now would we?

Claws getting a bit dull? Time for a manicure?

If you would expect me to start sulking after that I think you'd be sorely disappointed...

[007XX]

Claws getting a bit dull? Time for a manicure?

Bling sent...'nuf said...

For what it's worth, I'd tend to agree with your approach to this thread.

I used to think exactly the same in my early 20s, however never found more than one partner I was attracted to at the same time.
*sigh* being picky can be a pain sometimes...

[Pwalo]

Who cares? Besides, why can't you have more than one ideal? Perhaps more importantly how can you be certain that what you percieve as your ideal relationship is what you are willing to admit to?

Any way why would you want to have to deal with more than one person at a time. I'm sure the vacarious thrills would be a reward if you are that way inclined, but it's just soo much trouble for a poor simple bloke.

[ManDownUnder]

Three partners of mine have testified to a 'sexual awakening' involving a more relaxed and self-assured approach as well as an apparently-better-functioning body kicking in at around 27 years old.

Understood - that was a contributor to a couple of the "differing libido" situations I'm privy to. They started off the same... then one (or other) took off.

a reasonable number of young (< 23) women who have definitely had issues with sexual responsiveness.

There's my contribution to the data; make of it what you will...

Also related to the situation referred to above as a contributing factor. The classic "We're good Christians and we were virgins when we married" followed by one of them finding out one libido is on a different planet relatively speaking - that's gotta be fun!