Share your txt jokes

[kevfromcoro]

HOW DO TELL when a niga is well hung....
ya cant get your fingers between the neck and the rope

[ynot slow]

And Jesus said to his 12 apostles as he was being nailed to the cross,"don't any of arseholes touch my fucken easter eggs,I'll be back on Monday for them".

[mujambee]

Why do men put weight when they marry?

Single man looks into fridge, same as ever, straight to bed.
Married man looks into bed, same as ever, straight to fridge.

[Hiflyer]

whats the difference between a maori and a speedbump? a maori has a job.

What do you call 10000 n***as at the bottom of the ocean? A start

What can a Pizza do that a n***a cant? Feed a family of 4

What’s long black and smells like shit? The line at WINZ

What do you call a Maori on a bike? A thief.

How many abo’s does it take to eat a possum? Two, 1 to eat, the other to look for traffic.



Sorry to those who I have offended.
and sorry if they have already been said

[fire eyes]

cuzzy sent this to me tonight hahahaha fk I cracked up laughingggggggggg


forward this text to 10 people and you will recieve .. FUCK ALL
thats right .. FUCK ALL
no good luck or nice surprises .. just FUCK ALL
try it .. it works ..
I tried it .. and I got ..
FUCK ALL

[shafty]

Husband: What would you do if we won Lotto?
Wife:Take my half then divorce you
Husband: Great, we've won Division 4, here's your $9 now Fuck Off!

[ynot slow]

Husband: What would you do if we won Lotto?
Wife:Take my half then divorce you
Husband: Great, we've won Division 4, here's your $9 now Fuck Off!

Like the time a guy says to a girl in a bar"would you have sex with me for $1,000000 yep she replied,$100000,no replied her,how about $10000,nope,how about $20000,nope was reply,what type of girl you think I am,his reply I know what type you are,just trying to find out how much.

[Stirts]

A family of 3 prossies live together, the mum charges £30 for a blowjob the daughter charges £60 + the gran is just glad of a warm drink.

The fanny poem
This is a hole that never heals, the more you rub it the better it feels, and all the soap from here to hell can never get rid of that fuckin smell!

[MSTRS:Me]

Sex has been going downhill lately. So the wife has bought herself a vibrator. It's carrot-shaped, which is ironic because her fanny looks like a donkey yawning.

[MSTRS:Me]

What does a pizza delivery driver and a gynaecologist have in common?
Both can smell what's in the box, but neither is allowed a taste.

[NZ CBR]

*Graphic*

What makes 9 out of 10 people happy??






Gang Rape

[NZ CBR]

What do you call a black man flying a plane?





A pilot you Racist!!!!

[kevfromcoro]

The teacher asked the class.

can anyone give me a sentence with the word incompletly.....

Johny stood up and said....

When me balls touch my girlfriends arse ..

I know iam incompletly............

[Spicer]

Bloke changing his tyre,His mate pulls up & asks "what happened'? "Ran over a bottle", "Did you not see it'?, "Na,fuckin maori had it hidden in his pocket."


Why do gorillas have such long faces? Because they know that in another 20 million years they will be maoris.


Maori walkin down the street with crate of beer & 2 sheets of corrugated iron. Mate says wot happened? Maori said wife got the kids, i got house & contents!

How can you tell when ure girlfriend is 2 fat? You can't hear the stereo when she sits on ure face.

[Spicer]

What do smoking cigarettes and licking pussy have in common? The flavor gets stronger as you get closer to the butt.

Donald Duck on a dirty weekend calls reception & asks for comdons receptionist says shall i put them on ure bill? don't be thuckin thupid id thuffocate.

Scientists have crossed a male chicken with an onion.They have finally got a cock that brings tears 2 a womans eyes!

What is it that a duck can't do but a lawyer should? Stick his bill up his arse.