If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat tinned pork because of swine flu - ignore it.
It's just spam.
Psyclepath
If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat tinned pork because of swine flu - ignore it.
It's just spam.
Originally Posted by Dave Lobster
Only a homo puts an engine back together WITHOUT making it go faster.
L-Plate Rider
I've just found out I can still have wild athletic sex at 47. I'm so happy 'cos I live at 51 and it's not far to walk home.
Fuckin Kiwi Rail are full of shit.At the train ststion a sign said if you stand 2 close to the edge you might get suckrd off.5 fuckin 5 hours i stood there!
Mick was in trouble after his wife asked him where he was taking her on her birthday. Apparently "Up the arse", wasn't the right answer,
Hardcore Biker
A man was doing his girlfriend doggy style and then she farted!!
He just smiled, slapped her arse and said
"Hush little one your next"
Jesus was nailed up to some wood, two thousand years later and book sales are still good
Missing my buddy Morepower
Bank Robber takes hostages. He asks the first man 'did you see me rob the bank?' Man says yes. He shoots him dead. He asks the second man 'did you see me rob the bank?' No, but my wife did.
Missing my buddy Morepower
A man's wife came in wearing a sexy nighty. She told him "tie me up and do what you want". SO he tied her up, fucked her sister and went fishing
mad thou rider
lol. I am still lolling. nice!A man's wife came in wearing a sexy nighty. She told him "tie me up and do what you want". SO he tied her up, fucked her sister and went fishing
Forum whore
One I just got!
The best engine in the world is the Pussy. It takes any size piston, is self lubricating, starts with one finger & every 4 weeks does its own oil change.
On a Motorcycle you're penetrating distance, right along with the machine!! In a car you're just a spectator, the windshields like a TV!!
'Life's Journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out! Shouting, ' Holy sh!t... What a Ride!! '
Rest In Peace
Public health warning.
If you're a bit short of money and running a lion park,it doesn't pay to scrimp on the cat food.
Hello officer put it on my tab
Don't steal the government hates competition.
Just watched antiques roadshow this old lady placed a used tampon on the table and said "there you go you clever cunt tell me what period that's from?"
A mate of mine wuz goin down on a chick the other day an found peas an carrots in her pussy.He asked 'Are you sick?" 'No" she replied,"but the last guy was!
Hardcore Biker
I couldnt be bothered reaing thru the whole thread to see if this is on here already sorry, but I got this one today....and it works on me as I am Dutch:
A chick walks along the beach and finds a lamp in the sand, picks it up, rubs it and hey presto, a genie pops out.
Genie says "you have two wishes"
Chick thinks for a bit and says "I want huge tits"
Voila - she gets 12DD breasts instantly.
Genie says "and your secont wish?"
Chick says "oooh I want a tight cunt"
So the genie gave her your number
Missing my buddy Morepower
Why do women wear knickers at work??
Because workplace Health and Safety require that all manholes must be covered when not in use.......
Pasta La Vista
God created man and said"Perfect".
Next he created woman and said"Fuck that's going to need some make up".
Never too old to Rock n Roll.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I've got miserly tourettes and I don't give a fuck.
Pink Vagina :
Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex?
A pink rose with loveley details.
And after sex?
Boy, ever seen a bulldog eating maiyonnaise?
SHOWTIME:
Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over. But pulling down a panty means IT'S SHOWTIME!
Son on his honeymoon phoned his mom asking what 2 do.
MOM:Put ur biggest thng on her hairiest thng. SON:got
my nose in her armpit. Now what
What’s hairy on the outside and moist inside, begins with a 'C' ends with a 'T' and has U' and 'N' in the middle? Answer: 'COCUNUT'
Missing my buddy Morepower
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....
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