Share your txt jokes

[Stirts]

What has a Gynocologist and a Pizza Delivery Boy got in common?

They can both smell it but they can't eat it.

[naphazoline]

What's the definition of embarrassment?.................................... .................................................. ......................
Running into a wall with an erection,and hitting your nose first!

[jtzzr]

Micheal Jackson has bought 10 cases of Glen Fiddich whiskey. Apparently the salesman said it was a cheeky 12 year old that went down well.

[naphazoline]

David bain has been selected for the All blacks in place of Richard kahui on the wing.

He's not very fast,but he'll leave the first 5 for dead!




There's a new drinking game called the David bain game.

Run around the block as fast as you can carrying newspapers come back and have a shot in each room.

[Eurodave]

David Bain was a bit hungry after doing his paper route so he goes to KFC & says to the girl behind the counter

'I could murder a family pack'

[Laava]

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.
The son sees his mom and asks, 'What were you and Dad doing?'
The mother replies, 'Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it...'
'Your wasting your time,' said the boy.
'Why is that?' the mom asked puzzled.
'Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up.'

[Spicer]

If a blowjob makes ure day? What does anal sex do? It make ure hole weak.

Bungee jumping is like getting a blowjob off ure granny.It feels great but don't look down.

What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow your bonus.

What's the odd one out?
A.Washing machine,B.Toaster,C.Women,D.freezer.
Answer: Its the toaster.Its the only one that doesn't drip when its fucked.

[Squid]

David Bain applied for a job today. It was in the freezing works and though he admitted to no experience on the chain he did have home kill experience.

[Spicer]

A man goes to a fancy dress party naked with a glass jam jar on his cock.The host asks what the hell are you?The man replies im a fireman.Break glass,pull knob and ill come asap.

Women are just like orange juice cartons its not the shape or size that matters or even how sweet the juice is it's getting those fucking flaps to open
.
Please turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry
370HSSV 0773H



Bad wolf told red riding hood. Lift your top so i can suck your tits.
No she said lifting her skirt.
Eat me like the fucking book says!

[Spicer]

Renault and Ford merge 2 build new small car.Using the clio and Taurus they developed the zippy Clitaurus.It cums in pink with fur on dash.Fur not available in Brazil.

Man bought wife sum slippers and a vibrater 4 her birthday.Wife said why did you buy me a vibrater? Man said 'if you dont like the slippers you can go fuck yourself.'

[Bow-Down]

Where is the biggest Maori marae....

Paremoremo prison

[naphazoline]

How do you know when it's bed time on Michael Jacksons ranch?

When the big hand touch's the little hand.



What did the lady on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Would you mind moving....you're in my son.

[Smokin]

Doctors have confirmed Michael Jackson is dead, His body is to be melted down and made into kids toys, so Children can play with him for a change.

[naphazoline]

Jockeys at tomorrows race meetings throughout the world will be wearing black arm bands out of respect for Michael Jackson,who sucessfully rode more three year olds then anyone in living memory.

[naphazoline]

Michael Jackson says to wife Debbie at the birth of their child,"How long till we can have sex"?
Debbie says,"For fucks sake.Give it a chance to walk first."