5 men break into a chemist and steal a jar of viagra.Police say they're looking for a bunch of hardened criminals in possession of swallon goods.
5 men break into a chemist and steal a jar of viagra.Police say they're looking for a bunch of hardened criminals in possession of swallon goods.
who is your real friend? Put your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for an hour. When you open the boot which one is really happy to see you?
A queer walked into a gay bar and.... aw never mind, you were probably there and saw the whole thing.
A sexy woman in a bar walks up to the bartender and puts her fingers in his mouth. After he licks and sucks her fingers she says to him 'tell your manager theres no toilet paper'
KB Chief Cat Herder
When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory.. I don't remember, what I chose.
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
Virginity can be cured.
Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Zen wisdom: No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. - obviously had KB in mind when he came up with that gem
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
Last of a dying breed
Statistically only one dwarf in seven is Happy.
Missing my buddy Morepower
Husband asks wife: How many men have you slept with?
Wife proudly replies: Only you darling, with all the others I was wide awake.
Bite my shiney metal ass
I know a food that can make women gain 20 Kgs................Wedding cake!
Exert your talents, and distinguish yourself, and don't think of retiring from the world, until the world will be sorry that you retire. -Samuel Johnson
Hardcore Biker
I thought that was 'gain 100kg of useless fat'...Originally Posted by Insanity_rules
Atheism and Religion are but two sides of the same coin.
One prefers to use its head, while the other relies on tales.
KB Chief Cat Herder
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't Grumpy!!
Zen wisdom: No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. - obviously had KB in mind when he came up with that gem
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
I asked Santa 4 a condom,I got 3,I asked Santa 4 a doller,I got 10.I asked for a ho,and got this number
4 da 12 days of xmas my true luv gave 2 me.1 sticky tinny,2 magic mushys,3 lines of speed,4 tabs of e,5 tokes p,& da otha 6 i spent in A&E
Hardcore Biker
Dan: I now get to park in Handicapped parking spaces
Bob: What?! You aren't handicapped!
Dan: Yes i am. I'm Married
Hardcore Biker
I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean,
A ginger haired kid, with two friends?
Atheism and Religion are but two sides of the same coin.
One prefers to use its head, while the other relies on tales.
DILLIGAF
definition of a nervous wreck. A man who has a house payment, a truck payment, a wife and a girlfriend....... and they're all a month late!!!
WISDOM IS KNOWING KARMA REALLY CAN'T GET YOU.
SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER
DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!
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