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Thread: Share your txt jokes

  1. #331
    Join Date
    9th August 2005 - 19:52
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    Hamilton
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    What's the difference between white onions, brown onions and a 12 inch dick?

    Nothing.... They all make your eyes water.
    Zen wisdom: No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. - obviously had KB in mind when he came up with that gem

    Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity

  2. #332
    Join Date
    9th August 2005 - 19:52
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    What's the speed limit of sex?
    68; at 69 you have to turn around.
    Zen wisdom: No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. - obviously had KB in mind when he came up with that gem

    Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity

  3. #333
    Join Date
    3rd October 2006 - 21:21
    Bike
    Breaking rocks
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    in the hot sun
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    Fantastic! I've just discovered Twitter! It's my girlfriends sensitive area between the Twat and the Shitter!
    Only a Rat can win a Rat Race!

  4. #334
    Join Date
    23rd August 2008 - 14:43
    Bike
    2007 XTX660
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    Levin
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    162
    i saved a girl from getting raped today... I stayed in and had a wank instead


    A girl asked her doctor "how many calories in cum?" Doctor replied, " Honey, if you swallow, no one will care if your fat"


    I was at my girlfriends for dinner the other night when she asked me to turn the veg on. Apparently fingering her disabled sister in her wheelchair isn't what she meant
    All of this, all of this can be yours, Just give me what I want and no one gets hurt




  5. #335
    Spicer Guest

    Text Joke

    If the answer to the question is cock robin,what is the question?
    What's that up my arse batman?

  6. #336
    Spicer Guest

    Text Joke

    What tastes good on pies,but not on pussy?....Crust!

  7. #337
    Spicer Guest
    I came out of the shop today and slipped on some dog shit and hit the deck.
    As i was getting up,an old lady did the same thing.I said "i just did that" she said
    'you dirty cunt"

  8. #338
    Join Date
    8th November 2004 - 11:00
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    GSXR 750 the wanton hussy
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    Not in Napier now
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    12,765
    Fun Facts:
    Girls have unique magic tricks: They get wet without water, bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard.
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  9. #339
    Join Date
    21st May 2009 - 17:32
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    97 tls, 750 katana . k4 gsxr1000
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    still lookin for therapy
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    897
    I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today, apparent, the instruction " finish off on her face " didnt mean what i thought it did!!!!
    WISDOM IS KNOWING KARMA REALLY CAN'T GET YOU.

    SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER

    DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!

  10. #340
    Join Date
    1st January 2007 - 09:16
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    Gold Coast of QLD
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    2 shelias were having a punchup in a pub
    bloke yells out........... kick her in the cunt
    voice comes from the next room
    yeah....... kick it in here
    And that is the honest truth your honour..

  11. #341
    Join Date
    21st May 2009 - 17:32
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    I still remember play time at school,, A bit of footy , sneakin a quick cigarette and tryin to finger girls behind the bike sheds............. I loved that caretakers job.........
    WISDOM IS KNOWING KARMA REALLY CAN'T GET YOU.

    SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER

    DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!

  12. #342
    Join Date
    21st May 2009 - 17:32
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    97 tls, 750 katana . k4 gsxr1000
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    still lookin for therapy
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    I think I messed up my blind date last nite.. during the meal she asked, whats my pet hate??? I said it doesnt like things shoved up its arse!!!!!!!!!!!11
    WISDOM IS KNOWING KARMA REALLY CAN'T GET YOU.

    SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER

    DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!

  13. #343
    Join Date
    7th November 2008 - 13:30
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    Out of curiosity, I entered the word 'wanker' into my cars Sattelite GPS, just to see what happens and guess what?

    Put the kettle on. I'm outside your place

  14. #344
    Join Date
    7th November 2008 - 13:30
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    Fantastic! I've just discovered Twitter.

    Its the wife's sensitive area between the Twat and the Shitter

  15. #345
    Join Date
    7th November 2008 - 13:30
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    Rubbish man cums accross a maori leanin on his fence and sez 'weaz ur bin?'
    Maori sez, 'I bin on holiday'
    Na bro, weaz ur wheely-bin?'
    'ok, I wheely bin in jail'

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