Mummy and daddy say to son "we're trying to make a brother or sister for u"
Son replies "fuck that, can you do it doggy style so I can have a puppy"
Missing my buddy Morepower
Mummy and daddy say to son "we're trying to make a brother or sister for u"
Son replies "fuck that, can you do it doggy style so I can have a puppy"
DILLIGAF
I watahed as tha ' other ' woman delicately inserted her fingers into my wife's pussy. understandably, I decided to have a wank... midwives eh, no sense of humour...
WISDOM IS KNOWING KARMA REALLY CAN'T GET YOU.
SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER
DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!
Missing my buddy Morepower
Man wakes wife up and asks
"would you like some coffee dariling, or would you prefer sex?"
"I'm not fussed" she replied, "etiher way it's going to be fucking instant!"
Come warm yourself by the fire
If wanking makes you blind - what does fucking fat chicks do?
Reactor Online. Sensors Online. Weapons Online. All Systems Nominal.
DILLIGAF
more money is spent on boob jobs and viagra than alzheimer's researh!! by 2040 the elderly will have perky tits, stiff cocks and no fucking idea why..
SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER
DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!
DILLIGAF
they finally arressted the serial butt fucker. So you can stop sleeping on your stomach naked with the window open ... its not gonna happen.
SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER
DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!
Invisible up close
Printed in The Guardian (British paper)
At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff.
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window.
DILLIGAF
sum bird was givin me a blowjob the other day when suddenly, she stuck her finger up my ass!! women aye, they will do anything to get a ring on their finger.. !!
SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER
DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!
DILLIGAF
Some people accuse me of thinking the world revolves around me, But it doesnt . it revolves around the sun, which shines out my arse!!
SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER
DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!
DILLIGAF
do you want to come to a charity do at the weekend, it's for women with no legs. the dance floor will be crawling with pussy.
SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER
DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!
black cat
Whats 12 inches long, purple and makes a woman scream in the morning?
Cot death!
Originally Posted by James Deuce
black cat
If a woman doesnt like it when i masturbate, she should....
a/ join in
b/ masturbate herself, or
c/ find another seat on the goddam bus!
Missing my buddy Morepower
I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said, "Morning." He said, "No, just taking a fuckin shit
Missing my buddy Morepower
When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that God doesn't work that way... So I stole a bike and asked Him to forgive me
Missing my buddy Morepower
My wife was in labor with our first child. She was shouting, "Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!" She looked at me and yelled, "You did this to me, you bastard!" I casually replied, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your ass but you said, "That would hurt too much."
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