I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why and she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
Missing my buddy Morepower
I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why and she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
Missing my buddy Morepower
I was walking down the road and saw my Afghanistan neighbor Abdul standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's wrong, Abdul? Won't it start?"
DILLIGAF
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat?
Cut off your head.
WISDOM IS KNOWING KARMA REALLY CAN'T GET YOU.
SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER
DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!
Missing my buddy Morepower
As she wrote a valentines day message to her Lover, she couldn't remember how to spell 'penis' even though earlier, it had been on the tip of her tounge!
DILLIGAF
WIFE" I have a headache" HUSBAND" Perfect, i was just in the bathroom powdering my cock with asirin, U can take it orally or as a suppository, it's up to you.
SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER
DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!
Three Shirts On My Line
You know you can say what you like about paedophiles........ but at least they drive slowly past schools
All of this, all of this can be yours, Just give me what I want and no one gets hurt
Missing my buddy Morepower
If mothers celebrate mothers day, fathers celebrate fathers day and lovers celebrate valentines day,
Do wankers celbrate palm sunday?
KB Chief Cat Herder
Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Two. The hard part is getting them in the lightbulb
Zen wisdom: No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. - obviously had KB in mind when he came up with that gem
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
KB Chief Cat Herder
Q. What's the definition of Trust?
A. Two gay cannibals in a 69er
Zen wisdom: No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. - obviously had KB in mind when he came up with that gem
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
KB Chief Cat Herder
Q. What has seventy-five balls and screws old ladies?
A. Bingo!
Zen wisdom: No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. - obviously had KB in mind when he came up with that gem
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
KB Chief Cat Herder
Q: When is a pixie not a pixie?
A: When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin'.
Zen wisdom: No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. - obviously had KB in mind when he came up with that gem
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
DILLIGAF
Blond drops shirt at the cleaners, asian lady thanks her and says come again, blond replies, NO its tooth paste this time you nosey bitch
SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER
DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!
Invisible up close
What to do on a plane if the passenger next to you is irritating:
1- Remove your lap top from its bag
2- Open the laptop slowly and carefully
3- Turn on
4- Ensure the passenger next to you is watching
5- Turn on the Internet
6- Close your eyes for a brief moment, open them again, turn your gaze upwards to the skies as if in prayer
7- Take a deep breath and open this site TickTockTickTock
8-Observe the facial expression of your neighbouring passenger
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window.
KB Chief Cat Herder
One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or bitch .....
But this was a long time ago and it was just that ONE day.
Zen wisdom: No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. - obviously had KB in mind when he came up with that gem
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
The instructions are simple...
I'm gutted! Yesterday, I was in the local Maori shop, quite happily going through a magazine, when the bloody gun jammed.
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
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