How can you tell soap operas are fictional? In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
DILLIGAF
How can you tell soap operas are fictional? In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
WISDOM IS KNOWING KARMA REALLY CAN'T GET YOU.
SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER
DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!
DILLIGAF
What should you give a man who has everything? A mute nymphomanic 21 year old girlfriend.
SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER
DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!
DILLIGAF
What do you do with a 40 year old woman who thinks she's God's gift? Trade her in for two 20 year olds.
SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER
DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!
DILLIGAF
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? They're trying not to attract any more undue blame then they already have.
SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER
DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!
Missing my buddy Morepower
What has a fat chick and a moped have in commmon?
They are both fun to ride until your mates see you
Women should be like golf caddies...Either holding your balls or getting your fucking tee ready!
Farmer buys a milking machine & trys it on his penis & has a great orgasm but cant remove it he reads the manul & faints it says AUTO RELEASE AFTER 21 LITRES.
Youre riding a horse full speed,a giraffe is beside u,& ure being chased by a lion-wot do u do?.....Get ure stoned arse off the
merry-go-round.
My wife sez i should sell 2nd car & walk 2 work 2 save money so i sez she should let me fuck her up the arse & cum on her face that way we could get rid of the nanny.
Just biught the wife a solar powered vibrator,seeing as the sun shines out of her arse it should save me a fucking fortune on batteries.
Wots the differecence between an alcoholic & a pisshead??? Us pissheads dont have 2 go 2 all those fuckin meetings !!!
Why did sleeping beauty stop having sleep-overs with the 7 dwarfs? Because she would go 2 bed feeling happy & wake up fucking grumpy!
Since the missus went senile all she does is stare throught the window...Maybe one day,if its really fucking wet & cold,i'll let her in.
Weekend cruiser
A man asked an American Indian what his wife's name was.
He replied, "She called Five Horses".
The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife. What does it mean?"
The Old Indian answered, "It old Indian Name. It mean . . .
. . . NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG,"
Missing my buddy Morepower
Klu Klux klan bloke has just had his rottweiler upgraded and chipped.
It is now up to 10 nigger bytes per second
DILLIGAF
I gave my girlfriend an orgasm last night. ungrateful bitch spat it out.......
SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER
DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!
Missing my buddy Morepower
Woman answers phone and pervert on the other end says: have u got a big fat sweaty hairy cunt?
Woman says: yeah, hes on the fuckin sofa, do you want him?
The instructions are simple...
Maori TV has commissioned a remake of Silence of the Lambs
They're calling it Shut Up Ewes
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
DILLIGAF
"doctor, I cant stop wanking over 20 yr old black girls.. " try one of these " say doc... what are they.. he asks??? doc says "" nigger teen patches...
SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER
DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!
is currently sulking in the Sin Bin
I have just been sacked from my new job in the Wines and Spirits section at Woolworths.
A Muslim man came in and asked if I could recommend a good port.
I said Try Kuwait - now fuck off !
Missing my buddy Morepower
Recent studies have shown constantly sucking dick takes away the ability to speak.
Now I understand why you text and never call
DILLIGAF
what is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?
Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12
SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER
DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!
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