Share your txt jokes

[eelracing]

For all those confused females out there;it is simple! Men have two emotions....Hungry and Horny.

If you see him without an erection...make him a fucken sandwich.

[one fast tl1ooo]

heello, iss tthhatt thhee sshhoop iii boouugghht thhee vviibbrrattorr ffrroomm. yes. ccaann yyoouu tteell mmee hhooww ttoo ttuurrnn tthhee ffuucckkiinngg tthhiinngg ooffff.

[<G>]

One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:

'If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts.'

[one fast tl1ooo]

A hillbilly kid told me his brother got kicked out of school for rooting the teacher.

Sad part is, he was home schooled

[slofox]

A hillbilly kid told me his brother got kicked out of school for rooting the teacher.

Sad part is, he was home schooled

"You must ner ner ner..."

That's gross, y'know that? Gross!

[crazyhorse]

I was horrified to learn that donkeys are hung like niggers. What sick fuck would hang a donkey from a tree

[one fast tl1ooo]

How many abos, niggers, muslims, gooks, jews or faggots do you c in the cartoon the jetsons?? none. don't the future look fuckin great...

[Spicer]

Women should be like golf caddies...Either holding your balls or getting your fucking tee ready!

Farmer buys a milking machine & trys it on his penis & has a great orgasm but cant remove it he reads the manual & faints it says AUTO RELEASE AFTER 21 LITRES.

Youre riding a horse full speed,a giraffe is beside u,& ure being chased by a lion-wot do u do?.....Get ure stoned arse off the
merry-go-round.

My wife sez i should sell 2nd car & walk 2 work 2 save money so i sez she should let me fuck her up the arse & cum on her face that way we could get rid of the nanny.

Just boughtt the wife a solar powered vibrator,seeing as the sun shines out of her arse it should save me a fucking fortune on batteries.

Wots the differecence between an alcoholic & a pisshead??? Us pissheads dont have 2 go 2 all those fuckin meetings !!!

Why did sleeping beauty stop having sleep-overs with the 7 dwarfs? Because she would go 2 bed feeling happy & wake up fucking grumpy!

Since the missus went senile all she does is stare throught the window...Maybe one day,if its really fucking wet & cold,i'll let her

[<G>]

Wife asks Husband

"How many women have you slept with?"

Husband proudly replies,

"Only you, Darling - With all the others, I was awake."


Hospital Visiting Hours are 10am to 4pm

[crazyhorse]

I was going through a couple of magazines the other day at the local marae. I was really enjoying myself ...... until the rifle jammed.

[crazyhorse]

What do men with premature ejaculation and weed killer have in common?

30 seconds, spray and walk away!

[crazyhorse]

Fathers day is for thanking your dad for nailiing your mum

Mothers day is for thanking your mum for not swallowing you

[Jackal]

Gave the girlfriend an orgasim last night. The ungrateful cow just spat it straight out!!!!

[Smokin]

A mum is cleanin her sons bedroom & finds a load of bondage gear & fetish mags! She asks her husband "Wot do i do?". He says.. "Wot ever u do.... Don't f**kin spank him!"

[crazyhorse]

A priest books into a hotel and says to reception "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."

She replies "no, its just regular porn you sick bastard!"