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Thread: Share your txt jokes

  1. #451
    Join Date
    10th September 2008 - 22:00
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    For all those confused females out there;it is simple! Men have two emotions....Hungry and Horny.

    If you see him without an erection...make him a fucken sandwich.

  2. #452
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    21st May 2009 - 17:32
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    heello, iss tthhatt thhee sshhoop iii boouugghht thhee vviibbrrattorr ffrroomm. yes. ccaann yyoouu tteell mmee hhooww ttoo ttuurrnn tthhee ffuucckkiinngg tthhiinngg ooffff.
    WISDOM IS KNOWING KARMA REALLY CAN'T GET YOU.

    SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER

    DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!

  3. #453
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    11th February 2007 - 21:35
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    One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:

    'If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts.'

  4. #454
    Join Date
    21st May 2009 - 17:32
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    A hillbilly kid told me his brother got kicked out of school for rooting the teacher.

    Sad part is, he was home schooled
    WISDOM IS KNOWING KARMA REALLY CAN'T GET YOU.

    SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER

    DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!

  5. #455
    Join Date
    6th June 2008 - 17:24
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    Quote Originally Posted by one fast tl1ooo View Post
    A hillbilly kid told me his brother got kicked out of school for rooting the teacher.

    Sad part is, he was home schooled
    "You must ner ner ner..."

    That's gross, y'know that? Gross!
    . “No pleasure is worth giving up for two more years in a rest home.” Kingsley Amis

  6. #456
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    7th November 2008 - 13:30
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    I was horrified to learn that donkeys are hung like niggers. What sick fuck would hang a donkey from a tree

  7. #457
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    21st May 2009 - 17:32
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    How many abos, niggers, muslims, gooks, jews or faggots do you c in the cartoon the jetsons?? none. don't the future look fuckin great...
    WISDOM IS KNOWING KARMA REALLY CAN'T GET YOU.

    SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER

    DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!

  8. #458
    Spicer Guest

    Text Jokes

    Women should be like golf caddies...Either holding your balls or getting your fucking tee ready!

    Farmer buys a milking machine & trys it on his penis & has a great orgasm but cant remove it he reads the manual & faints it says AUTO RELEASE AFTER 21 LITRES.

    Youre riding a horse full speed,a giraffe is beside u,& ure being chased by a lion-wot do u do?.....Get ure stoned arse off the
    merry-go-round.

    My wife sez i should sell 2nd car & walk 2 work 2 save money so i sez she should let me fuck her up the arse & cum on her face that way we could get rid of the nanny.

    Just boughtt the wife a solar powered vibrator,seeing as the sun shines out of her arse it should save me a fucking fortune on batteries.

    Wots the differecence between an alcoholic & a pisshead??? Us pissheads dont have 2 go 2 all those fuckin meetings !!!

    Why did sleeping beauty stop having sleep-overs with the 7 dwarfs? Because she would go 2 bed feeling happy & wake up fucking grumpy!

    Since the missus went senile all she does is stare throught the window...Maybe one day,if its really fucking wet & cold,i'll let her

  9. #459
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    11th February 2007 - 21:35
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    Wife asks Husband

    "How many women have you slept with?"

    Husband proudly replies,

    "Only you, Darling - With all the others, I was awake."


    Hospital Visiting Hours are 10am to 4pm

  10. #460
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    7th November 2008 - 13:30
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    I was going through a couple of magazines the other day at the local marae. I was really enjoying myself ...... until the rifle jammed.

  11. #461
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    7th November 2008 - 13:30
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    What do men with premature ejaculation and weed killer have in common?

    30 seconds, spray and walk away!

  12. #462
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    7th November 2008 - 13:30
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    Fathers day is for thanking your dad for nailiing your mum

    Mothers day is for thanking your mum for not swallowing you

  13. #463
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    2nd September 2008 - 22:26
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    Gave the girlfriend an orgasim last night. The ungrateful cow just spat it straight out!!!!

  14. #464
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    1st October 2005 - 21:01
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    A mum is cleanin her sons bedroom & finds a load of bondage gear & fetish mags! She asks her husband "Wot do i do?". He says.. "Wot ever u do.... Don't f**kin spank him!"
    SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY
    BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

  15. #465
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    7th November 2008 - 13:30
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    A priest books into a hotel and says to reception "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."

    She replies "no, its just regular porn you sick bastard!"

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