Page 33 of 73 FirstFirst ... 23313233343543 ... LastLast
Results 481 to 495 of 1084

Thread: Share your txt jokes

  1. #481
    Join Date
    21st May 2009 - 17:32
    Bike
    97 tls, 750 katana . k4 gsxr1000
    Location
    still lookin for therapy
    Posts
    897
    Two men talking, one says why have your wife and your daughter got the same name??? So i dont shout out the wrong name during sex...
    WISDOM IS KNOWING KARMA REALLY CAN'T GET YOU.

    SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER

    DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!

  2. #482
    Join Date
    7th November 2008 - 13:30
    Bike
    2007 GSX1000R
    Location
    Hastings
    Posts
    2,140
    I was in bed with a new girlfriend last night and she said I had the biggest cock she had ever laid her hands on!

    I said "you're pulling my leg"

  3. #483
    Join Date
    29th February 2008 - 16:16
    Bike
    Daryl
    Location
    West Aux
    Posts
    53
    Wife say to hubby "why do you keep changing channels"? Hubby says "there's porn on one channel and golf on the other". Wife says "watch the porn, you know how to play golf".
    Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.


    You have been warned. 'Cheesecutters' are coming to a road near you soon! http://www.cheesecutter.co.nz/

  4. #484
    Join Date
    29th February 2008 - 16:16
    Bike
    Daryl
    Location
    West Aux
    Posts
    53
    Husband says "I fancy kinky sex tonight, can I cum in your ear?". Wife says "No, I might go deaf!". Husband says "I've been cumming in your mouth for 20 years and your still talking!"
    Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.


    You have been warned. 'Cheesecutters' are coming to a road near you soon! http://www.cheesecutter.co.nz/

  5. #485
    Join Date
    25th March 2007 - 12:04
    Bike
    SPEED TRIPLE
    Location
    LA LA LAND
    Posts
    1,365
    A recent survey done by marriage experts shows that the most common form of marriage proposal these days consists of the words: “You’re what?!?”
    No body move... I dropped my brain

  6. #486
    Join Date
    21st May 2009 - 17:32
    Bike
    97 tls, 750 katana . k4 gsxr1000
    Location
    still lookin for therapy
    Posts
    897
    How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
    He forgot to wrap his whopper.
    WISDOM IS KNOWING KARMA REALLY CAN'T GET YOU.

    SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER

    DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!

  7. #487
    Join Date
    21st May 2009 - 17:32
    Bike
    97 tls, 750 katana . k4 gsxr1000
    Location
    still lookin for therapy
    Posts
    897
    A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"
    "Why?" snorts the man. "Is there a fat bird in my car?"
    WISDOM IS KNOWING KARMA REALLY CAN'T GET YOU.

    SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER

    DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!

  8. #488
    Join Date
    7th November 2008 - 13:30
    Bike
    2007 GSX1000R
    Location
    Hastings
    Posts
    2,140
    Irishman takes his goldfish to the vet and says its got epilepsy.

    The vet says "it looks calm enough to me"

    Paddy replies "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet!"

  9. #489
    Join Date
    6th June 2008 - 17:24
    Bike
    The Vixen - K8 GSXR600
    Location
    Behind keybd in The Tron
    Posts
    6,518
    Quote Originally Posted by one fast tl1ooo View Post
    A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"
    "Why?" snorts the man. "Is there a fat bird in my car?"
    "You must spread the...nernerner...."

    ...
    . “No pleasure is worth giving up for two more years in a rest home.” Kingsley Amis

  10. #490
    Join Date
    7th November 2008 - 13:30
    Bike
    2007 GSX1000R
    Location
    Hastings
    Posts
    2,140
    Why don't blind men skydive? Cos it scares the hell out of the dog

  11. #491
    Join Date
    10th September 2008 - 22:00
    Bike
    Smokers and a tractor
    Location
    Wanganui
    Posts
    969
    A girl askes her doctor "How many calories are in cum?"

    Doc replies "Honey,if you swallow,nobody cares if your fat."

  12. #492
    Join Date
    29th February 2008 - 16:16
    Bike
    Daryl
    Location
    West Aux
    Posts
    53
    Man says to his wife : Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife : Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.

    Why is a woman 20.000 $ worth and a man only 2$? A woman has a milk factory, a mussel farm and a sawmill; a man a sausage, 2 bitterballs and a little pot of mayonnaise.

    Why did the blonde sneak past the pharmacy? ................. She did not want to wake the sleeping tablets!

    Do you think I can live for another fourty years? ... Do you drink? ... No! ... Do you smoke? ... No! ... Do you visit the whores? ... No! ....... Why do you want to live another fourty years?

    Yo mama's so fat that when she walks across the living room, the radio skips

    Yo grannie's so fat, on each of her butt cheeks she has "Place Your Ad Here" printed.

    Yo mama's a stunt double for the Predator


    Yo mama is so bad, when she got called for jury duty she was found guilty.


    Yo sista so fat that she gets runs in her Levi's


    Yo mama's so fat, she ain't on a diet, she's on a Triet - She's all like - "Whatever yo eating ... I'll try it!"

    Yo Mother in law's so fat, she was floating in the Atlantic ocean and Spain claimed her as a New World.

    Yo mama's so fat, she gobbles down Cookies as if they were tic-tacs


    Your moma's so stupid she thinks a 17 inch Admiral is a well hung sailor.


    Yo mama's so large, she went to get an all over tan and the sun burned out...

    Your mamma's so fat, the body snatchers called home for backup.

    Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest in India.

    You mama's so daft she thought Chubby Checkers was a game for fat people.

    Yo Nana so ugly she didn't get hit with an ugly stick, but with THE ugly log.

    I was speaking to your parents - they told me you was such an ugly baby they had to feed you with a slingshot.

    Yo' kid brother so hairy, when I took him to the zoo the gorillas went ape shit thinking I had stole one of their babies...


    Yo mama only got 1 finger and runs around stealing key rings.


    Yo auntie Ethel's so toothless, it took her an hour to eat minute rice.

    Yo mama's like the new AOL 7.0: Fast, fun, oh so easy and you get 100 hours FREE

    Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.


    You have been warned. 'Cheesecutters' are coming to a road near you soon! http://www.cheesecutter.co.nz/

  13. #493
    Join Date
    7th November 2008 - 13:30
    Bike
    2007 GSX1000R
    Location
    Hastings
    Posts
    2,140
    Three witches are in the showe naked. A ghost appears and flashes his penis and says "hocus pocus"

    They reply: "fuck hocus..... just pocus!"

  14. #494
    Join Date
    21st May 2009 - 17:32
    Bike
    97 tls, 750 katana . k4 gsxr1000
    Location
    still lookin for therapy
    Posts
    897
    Why do men like love at first sight? Because he knows it's all over as soon as she opens her mouth.
    WISDOM IS KNOWING KARMA REALLY CAN'T GET YOU.

    SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER

    DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!

  15. #495
    Join Date
    21st May 2009 - 17:32
    Bike
    97 tls, 750 katana . k4 gsxr1000
    Location
    still lookin for therapy
    Posts
    897
    What is the thinnest book in the world? Biographies of Happy women
    WISDOM IS KNOWING KARMA REALLY CAN'T GET YOU.

    SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER

    DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •