When police caught up with a kkk member burning maories in NZ with petrol, they asked him what was he doing.
He replied....... about 17 to the gallon
Missing my buddy Morepower
When police caught up with a kkk member burning maories in NZ with petrol, they asked him what was he doing.
He replied....... about 17 to the gallon
Dickens Cider
A charity single has been released in aid of Pakistan flood relief...
Raindrops keep falling on Ahmed.
No body move... I dropped my brain
Invisible up close
Got my son an iPhone for his birthday the other week and recently got my daughter an iPod for hers.
I was chuffed when the family clubbed together and bought me an iPad for Father's day.
I got my wife an iRon for her birthday.
It was around then the fight started......
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window.
Missing my buddy Morepower
How are a blonde's legs like a convenience store?
They're always open.
Weekend cruiser
Duck walks into a chemist and picks up a box of condoms, takes them to the counter.
Guy behind the counter says "You want these on your bill" ?
Ducks replies " No. What do you think i am - a dickhead? "
Paddy asks librarian 'have u got the new help book for men with small cocks' librarian says 'its not in yet' paddy says 'yes thats the one.'
Man calls 111 and says 'i think my wife is dead' the operator says 'how do u know?' he says 'well the sex is the same but the ironing is building up!!!'
Jack and Jill went up the hill and planned to do some kissing.Jack made a pass and grabbed her arse.now two of his teeth are missing
Forum whore
Gay man comes home to find his boyfriend's arse in the freezer...
Man with arse in the freezer yells out, "thought you might like a cold one after work!"
Hardcore Biker
Cecil comes home to find his boyfriend Cedric with his arse in the fridge.
Cecil asks : "What the hell are you doing with your bum in the fridge?"
Cedric replies "I thought you might like something cool to slip into!"
Atheism and Religion are but two sides of the same coin.
One prefers to use its head, while the other relies on tales.
Missing my buddy Morepower
Paddy asks librarian "have you got the new help book for men with small cocks?"
Librarian says "its not in yet"
Paddy says "yes, thats the one"
A muslim man has been caught shagging sheep in wales.When questioned,he said it was Islamb and he could do what he fucking wanted with it.
I'm a little penis short and bare.here are my balls and my pubic hair.When i get all steamed up grab my knob,wank me hard and stick me in your gob!
If the dove is the bird of peace.What is the bird of true love? Its to swallow.
Whats the difference between 2 cocks and a joke? Your mother cant' take a joke.
The instructions are simple...
My girlfriend doesn't like my new aftershave. It's called Chloroform. She says it makes her feel sleepy and gives her a sore arse.
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Off the wagon
Is it true David Bain has a paper round in Feilding?
Highway Biker
Irish farther finds cigarettes in his daughters room. "Oh no she smokes!"
He then finds whiskey "oh no she drinks!"
Then he finds condoms "Shit she has a penis!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
3 kids in class
Teacher asks
"John what do cows say?"
Moo Miss
"Joanie what do sheep say?"
Baa miss
"Rangi what do pigs say?"
Hands up you little black cunt.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Shagged a girl with a chronic stutter.
It wasn't to bad.
I managed to finish before she said NO.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Sex is like your pay packet.
Can't discuss it with anyone
Because then they will know
how little you are getting.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Pussy is like snow.
It's fun to play in
You never know when it's going to cum
and only some of it is clean enough to eat.
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Give it here!!
No it's mine!
Let me have it!!
No it's my turn you
had it last, fuck off !
Come on gimee it!!
No way!!
Siamese twins having a wank.
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Nothing worse than after sex
looking down and seeing that
soggy used condom hanging from
your cock.
Particularly if you weren't wearing one when you started .
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you get when you go to a maori garage sale.
All your stuff back.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Just seen the aerial view of the floods in Pakistan.
Which reminds me
I must get some COCO POP'S on my way home.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sex has gone down hill so I bought the wife a dildo.
She said it looks like a giant carrot.
..... which is kind of ironic as her fanny
looks like a donkey yawning.
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"May the motorcycle god's keep your tyres pumped"
"The shortest distance between any two points on a motorbike, is the long way round"
Has left the building
A woman wakes up during the night, and her husband isn't in bed with her. She goes downstairs to look for him and finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she asks: "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee and says: "Do you remember 20 years ago, when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes, I do," she replies.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"
"Yes, I remember," says the wife: lowering herself into a chair beside him.
"Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said: "Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that, too," she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says: "I would have gotten out today."
Has left the building
A Redneck passed away and left his entire
estate to his beloved widow . . . but she can't touch it 'till she's 14.
How do you know when you're staying in a Redneck motel?
When you call the front desk and say, " I gotta leak in my sink, and the clerk replies ....."Go ahead."
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age for Rednecks to 32 ???
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
Who invented the toothbrush?
A Redneck!!
(If it had been invented by anyone else, it would have been a teeth brush)
Did you hear that the Redneck Governor's Mansion burned down?
'Yep.. Prit'near took out the whole trailer park.. The library was a total loss too. Both books went poof . . . up in flames and the Governor hadn't even finished coloring one of them.'
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