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Thread: Share your txt jokes

  1. #31
    Join Date
    5th April 2004 - 20:04
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    Exxon Valdez
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    wellington
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    13,211
    I heard an intruder broke into your house the other night and gave you an ultimatum, "Give me your phone, or suck my dick!"

    I see you still have your phone.

  2. #32
    Join Date
    6th February 2008 - 10:35
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    '03 FXD
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    Dark Side of the Moon.
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    1,819
    If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him is he still wrong?

  3. #33
    Join Date
    6th February 2008 - 10:35
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    How do you know when a woman is going to say something intelligent?
    She starts with "a man once told me....."

  4. #34
    Join Date
    5th April 2004 - 20:04
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    Exxon Valdez
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    wellington
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    13,211
    I'm soory it took so long to text you back, but there was a blackout in our street, and it took a while for the sharp shooters to get him.

  5. #35
    Join Date
    23rd March 2007 - 10:20
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    2013 ZX14R SE
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    .
    Posts
    4,878
    I'm gonna go down on you and you're gonna love it, it's only gonna be long enough for you to start to enjoy it then i'll come back up and fuck you big time.

    Yours sincerely, Petrol prices.

  6. #36
    Join Date
    10th June 2003 - 12:00
    Bike
    Kawasaki ZX750-H1~2 (Pre 89 F1)
    Location
    Auckland
    Posts
    401

    Little Johnny

    Teacher draws penis on blackboard
    Anyone know what this is ?
    Little Johnny says "My dad has two, a little one for weeing & a big one for cleaning the Baby Sitters teeth"... !
    To finish first - first you must finish... Oh b.t.w, which way doe's Turn 1 go & whats the lap record...

  7. #37
    Join Date
    25th March 2007 - 12:04
    Bike
    SPEED TRIPLE
    Location
    LA LA LAND
    Posts
    1,366
    U got Sex Appeal...U got Class...U got Moves...U got da Face, da Body....shit...I got wrong number...SORRY
    No body move... I dropped my brain

  8. #38
    Join Date
    8th November 2004 - 11:00
    Bike
    GSXR 750 the wanton hussy
    Location
    Not in Napier now
    Posts
    12,765
    Due to the sad state of my sex life, I'm gunna convert to Islam. Need to change my name. Choice is Seldm bin layd or I bin getn f'al
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  9. #39
    Join Date
    8th November 2004 - 11:00
    Bike
    GSXR 750 the wanton hussy
    Location
    Not in Napier now
    Posts
    12,765
    Samoan father asks his daughter who got her pregnant. So she asks him if he knows which meal made him fat.
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  10. #40
    Join Date
    27th February 2005 - 08:47
    Bike
    a red heap
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    towel wronger
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    6,506
    Man comes home and finds wife in bed with his mate. He stabs him to death! Wife says "that was a silly thing to do, carry on like that & you'll have no mates left!"

  11. #41
    Join Date
    25th March 2007 - 12:04
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    SPEED TRIPLE
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    LA LA LAND
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    Vodafone regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on everyone except u.We regret 2 inform u that no one would go down on u.not even a network
    No body move... I dropped my brain

  12. #42
    Join Date
    8th November 2004 - 11:00
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    GSXR 750 the wanton hussy
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    Not in Napier now
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    Are you a man or a woman? For more info look down
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    Look down, not scroll...thicko!!
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  13. #43
    Join Date
    29th October 2007 - 00:44
    Bike
    F-18,Ginny and #66
    Location
    Sin City
    Posts
    5,026
    Blog Entries
    8
    You: Do you know what is TULS backwords ?
    Mate: ammm...SLUT !
    You: Do you know what a SLUT backwords is ?
    Mate: Ammm...TULS ?
    You: Na ...100 bux !
    Don't Ride Faster Than Your Guardian Angel Can Fly !!!



    Hey Alan, Alan, Alan....

  14. #44
    Join Date
    2nd October 2005 - 00:47
    Bike
    CR250
    Location
    Papamoa
    Posts
    3,993
    Read this out loud

    I yam wee tar did
    I yam so wee tar did
    I yam sofa king fik.

    If you don't get it read it out to a mate.

  15. #45
    Join Date
    8th November 2004 - 11:00
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    GSXR 750 the wanton hussy
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    Posts
    12,765
    Ten men were in an ID line-up. The rape victim comes in and Paddy, the only Irishmen there calls out "Yea - that's her"
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

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