Share your txt jokes

[crazyhorse]

Why do women have 2% more brains than a cow? So when you pull their tits, they don't shit on the floor

[<G>]

My small grandson got lost at the mall, he approached a uniformed security guard and said,
"I've lost my grandpa!"

"The guard asked, "What's he like?"

The little tyke hesitated for a moment and then replied,

"Jack Daniels and women with big tits."

[Spicer]

My wife and i have adopted a maori boy and have named him google. I mean it makes sense-he is going to be constantly searched anyway.

[DMNTD:Me]

Broke me record last weekend 4 continual sex. 1 hour and 3 seconds. Then realised the clocks had gone forward ! !

[crazyhorse]

A gay guy dies. his boyfriend decides to put his ashes in a curry.

when asked why, he replied "I just want to feel him dribble out my ass one more time"

[cheviot]

What do mens underpants and a police car have in common?
There's always a prick in the front and at the end of the day there's a little shit in the back.

[MSTRS:Me]

So I went to Wal-Mart and saw that they had Obama Christmas Tree ornaments.... Now ain't that a bitch??? Suddenly it's OK to hang a black man from a tree again?

[Stirts]

There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those who understand binary.
And those who get laid.

[RiderInBlack]

There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those who understand binary.
And those who get laid.

And here's that translated into binary for those who haven't got laid:
01010100011010000110010101110010011001010010000001 10000101110010011001010010000000110001001100000010 00000111010001111001011100000110010101110011001000 00011011110110011000100000011100000110010101101111 01110000011011000110010100100000011010010110111000 10000001110100011010000110100101110011001000000111 01110110111101110010011011000110010000101110001000 00010101000110100001101111011100110110010100100000 01110111011010000110111100100000011101010110111001 10010001100101011100100111001101110100011000010110 11100110010000100000011000100110100101101110011000 01011100100111100100101110001000000100000101101110 01100100001000000111010001101000011011110111001101 10010100100000011101110110100001101111001000000110 01110110010101110100001000000110110001100001011010 010110010000101110

[KiWiP]

01010100011010000110010101110010011001010010000001 10000101110010011001010010000000110001001100000010 00000111010001111001011100000110010101110011001000 00011011110110011000100000011100000110010101101111 01110000011011000110010100100000011010010110111000 10000001110100011010000110100101110011001000000111 01110110111101110010011011000110010000101110001000 00010101000110100001101111011100110110010100100000 01110111011010000110111100100000011101010110111001 10010001100101011100100111001101110100011000010110 11100110010000100000011000100110100101101110011000 01011100100111100100101110001000000100000101101110 01100100001000000111010001101000011011110111001101 10010100100000011101110110100001101111001000000110 01110110010101110100001000000110110001100001011010 010110010000101110

01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110110 01101001 01110010 01100111 01101001 01101110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01100111 01110010 01100001 01101110 01100100 01110000 01100001 01110010 01100101 01101110 01110100 01110011 00100000 01101110 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100010 01110010 01100101 01100100 00101110 00100000 00100000 01001111 01101000 00100000 01110011 01101000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01100001 01101101 00100000 01001001 00100001 00100000 00100000 01000001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01110101 01110011 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100100 01101001 01110011 01100001 01110000 01110000 01100101 01100001 01110010 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110000 01110101 01100110 01100110 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01101100 01101111 01100111 01101001 01100011 00100000 00101110 00101110 00101110 00101110 00100000 00101000 01001000 01101001 01110100 01100011 01101000 00100000 01101000 01101001 01101011 01100101 01110010 01110011 00100000 01100111 01110101 01101001 01100100 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01000111 01100001 01101100 01100001 01111000 01111001 00101001 00100000 01001111 01101000 00100000 01100011 01110010 01100001 01110000 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100011 01100001 01110101 01110011 01100101 00100000 01001001 00100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100001 01101101 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01101101 01110101 01100011 01101000 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01110011 01100101 00101110 00101110 00101110

[RiderInBlack]

You are so a virgin your grandparents never bred. Oh shit so am I! And thus I disappear in a puff of logic .... (Hitch hikers guide to the Galaxy) Oh crap because I know that I am so much worse...

Speak for ya-self, I was too busy getting laid to learn to read Binary, LOL. I cheated by Googleing "Binary Translator" ta translate that shit, cause there is no way I could read it otherwise.

[Spicer]

At the commonwealth games a muslim has been shot in the head with a starting pistol.......police say it's definitely race related.

[Patrick]

Old McDonald has tourettes... E I E I CUNT!

[crazyhorse]

I was sitting next to an old indian lady on the bus, I thought she had died. I couldn't see her breathing. Then i noticed the red dot on her forehead, and realised she was just on standby

[Spicer]

I braked hard but still hit the car in front.A cute blonde got out and shouted "Ram me up the arse why don't you"? This ure Honour is where the confusion began.