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WWW.GAYGEAR.COM.


In relation to the red anal vibrator you ordered on page 16 of our catalogue, please could you select another item, as this is our fire extinguisher

[MSTRS:Me]

A recent survey showed that 1 out of 3 women is just as stupid as the other 2.

[Pseudonym]

I was sitting behind this driver that was all over the road and doing 10k under the speed limit.
Finally I had enough and yelled at him “Learn to fucking drive, and while you’re at it you can fuck off back to your own country!”
Can’t believe he chucked me out of his taxi…

[1 Free Man]

little Patrick asked 4 bike 4 his birthday.his dad says "We'd get u 1 but our mortgage is 80 thousand and your mum has lost her job."
next day Patrick walked out with his suitcase packed, his dad asks " where U going son?"
Patrick replied " I walked past your room last nite and I heard you tell mum you were pulling out, then I heard Mum tell U to wait coz she was coming too. I'm not staying here on me own with an 80 thousand dollar mortgage and no Fucking bike.!!"
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Bungy jumping is like getting a blow job from ya Granny,
It feels good but for Christ sake don't look down!!
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Q. why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize an egg?
A. They don't stop to ask directions.
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A little guy is sitting in a bar when suddenly a thug smacks him in the face and says "that's KUNG FU from japan".
A bit later on the thug smacks him again and says " That's KARATE from Korea".
The little guy gets up and leaves the bar.
A short time later he comes back and smacks the thug knocking him out cold and says to the barman
" When that cunt wakes up tell him it was a fucking SHOVEL from Placemakers".
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My Girlfriend calls my dick "the firework."
She keeps it at arms length because
it went off in her face last time and it only lasted for a couple of seconds .
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Just started a jo in a music store.
A black dude walked in and asked
"Got anything by the DOORS?"
I said " Yes 2 camera's and an alarm, NOW FUCK OFF!!!"
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FRIEND'S ARE LIKE KNICKERS.
* Some crawl up your arse.
* Some are full of shit.
* Some snap under pressure.
* Some don't have the strength to hold you up.
* Some get a little twisted.
* Some are your favourites
* some are holy
* some are cheap.
* some are just plain nasty
* and some actually cover your arse when you need them.
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A nun is sitting on a train next to a nigger who is eating a tub of prawns.
Every time he eats one he spits the head at the nun who ignores him and throws it out the window.
Eventually she get's pissed off and pull's the emergency cord.
The nigger looks at her and say's "you'll get fined $50 for that you stupid bitch" and laughs.
The nun laughs back and says,
"When I cry rape and they smell your fingers you'll get 10 years you black cunt!!"
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I was watching the tv last nite. Saw an Ethiopian with flys all around him.
Though i need to take one of those with me camping,
Better than a bug zapper!!.
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The wife rang me screaming
"You've given me crabs you bastard, how could you?"
I said "Hang on, before you blame me talk to your sister!!"
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Another great day!
Been to the gym
had a nice hot shower and
I have just picked up a bottle of home brew off the neighbour for this afternoon.
I've got a few joints rolled up for the X Box tournament with the lads,
after which I will muck about online on some porn and gambling sites
Then it's a nice blowjob before I head off to bed.
FUCK I LOVE PRISON!!
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Hendrix, Joplin, Morrison Cobain and now Winehouse
all dead at 27 years old......................
ONLY 10 YEARS TO GO BIEBER YOU LITTLE CUNT!!!!
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Just FOSTERED a Muslim kid.
all 4 can's got him on the back of his head.
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Don't understand the point of lap dance clubs.
If I wanted a woman to take my money and sexually frustrate me,
I'd Fucking stay at home!!,
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[MSTRS:Me]

I phoned the police the other day. "What's your emergency?" they asked. I said "Two girls are fighting over me" "Okay" she paused "well what's the problem?" "The fat one's winning!"

[crazyhorse]

I was banging this nice Lady over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open.

She said, "It's my husband! Quick, try the back door!"

Thinking back, I really should have ran but you don't get offers like that every day.

[MSTRS:Me]

Shot my first turkey yesterday. Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section...

[crazyhorse]

Feeling kinky, the wife said to me "If you turn off the bedside lamp, I'll take it up the arse."

I suppose I should have waited for the bulb to cool down first.........

[KiWiP]

A man goes into an Airfix shop and asks if they have a model of an Italian cruise liner.
'Yes' says the assistant, 'Just one left'.
'Will you put it on one side for me, please?'

[Spicer]

Teacher says to class "children we are all descendants of adam and eve," A student replies 'but miss my mum and dad said we come from the apes." Teacher reponds, "stay out of this rangi,im not talking about your lot"!

My wife told me she slept with my maori mate.So i kicked her out of the house...NOBODY accuses me of having a maori mate!

Found a maori boy stuffed in my letter box this morning..I think some cunt is blackmailing me!

My daughter just walked into the living room and said "Dad cancel my allowance rent my room out throw all my clothes out,of the window,take my tv...i phone and jewellery to the charity shop.Sell my car take my front door keys and throw me out of the house and cut me out of your will." Well she didn't actually put it like that.She said "Dad this is my new boyfriend, Rangi"

[Spicer]

What's a burnt pizza,frozen beer,and a pregant girl have in common?? In each scenario,there's a dumb cunt who didn't take it out in time...

Karma Sutra position No. 52. "The Pirate" When going at it doggy style,just as you are about to cum,pull out and spit on her back so she thinks your'e cum.When she turns around unleash a blast right in her face to stun and amaze her!
known as the pirate because she'll put her hand over her eye and say aarghhhh.


2 cavemen walking along dragging their woman by the hair.One says 2 the other "I'm guna teach mine 2 talk wot harm could that do"



Doctor asks pregant prostitute "Do u know who the father is?" She replies. "For fucksake.if u ate a tin of beans.would u know which one make u fart!?"


Micky & Minnie Mouse were in divorce court.The jude says "U say here that ure wife is crazy?" "NO" replies Micky. "I said she was fucking goofy!"

[tigertim20]

What's a burnt pizza,frozen beer,and a pregant girl have in common?? In each scenario,there's a dumb cunt who didn't take it out in time...

Karma Sutra position No. 52. "The Pirate" When going at it doggy style,just as you are about to cum,pull out and spit on her back so she thinks your'e cum.When she turns around unleash a blast right in her face to stun and amaze her!
known as the pirate because she'll put her hand over her eye and say aarghhhh.
You're also supposed to give her a solid kick in the shin so she hops around one legged too...

2 cavemen walking along dragging their woman by the hair.One says 2 the other "I'm guna teach mine 2 talk wot harm could that do"

yeah, if you drag them by the ankle, they fill up with sand...

..........

[MSTRS:Me]

Just saw a bloke driving while eating ice cream. Fucking sundae drivers.
--

Just won an innuendo contest. Had to beat off some stiff competition though!!
--

I told my girlfriend today that the male's G-spot is in the anus. Well, her anus anyway.

--
For sale: Entire Twilight DVD box-set. Free to a good homo.

[Spicer]

I was at a wedding reception when the DJ announced. . ."all the married men out there go and stand by the person who makes your life worth living"!
The poor fuckin barman was nearly crushed to death.!


A report out today says 40% of men over 40 suffer from erection problems!
Looking at 40% of women over 40,it's not fucking difficult too see why....!


A STORY WITH A MORAL:

My girlfriend told me 2 call over 2 her house one day. When i arrived,i found her unbelievably sexy sister alone.
She whispered in my ear,"im very horny,fuck me now"
I turned around & walked out of the front door and towards my car.
I found my girlfriend standing there & she hugged me & said.U have won my trust:
MORAL:
It's always better to keep the CONDOMS in the car & not in your pocket.

Ahmad and Habib are both beggars in Bankstown.
Habib begs just as long as Ahmad but only collects $2 to $3 every day.
Ahmad brings home a suitcase FULL of $10 notes,drives a Mercedes,owns a block of units and has a lot of money to spend.
Habib says to Ahmad "I beg just as long and hard as you do but how do you bring home a suitcase full of $10 notes every day?"
Ahmad says,"Look at your sign,what does it say?"
Habib's sgn reads "I have no work a wife and 6 kids to support."
Ahmad says "No wonder you only get $2-$3 a day,my sign says "I only need another $10 to move back to Lebanon."

[MSTRS:Me]

When in India recently I saw a sign that said 'English speaking taxi driver'. I thought to myself 'What a brilliant idea... why don't we have them here?'