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Thread: Share your txt jokes

  1. #61
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    27th February 2005 - 08:47
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    whats the best thing about fucking a transvestite?

    Reaching around the front and thinking its gone all the way through.

  2. #62
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    1st October 2005 - 21:01
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    Hey, remember that time we were on the train and you stuck your head out the window and I stuck my arse out the window and everyone thought we were twins.
    SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY
    BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

  3. #63
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    8th November 2004 - 11:00
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    Had a wank over an ex-girlfriend the other night....I still have a key...and she's a heavy sleeper.
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  4. #64
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    2nd January 2008 - 18:59
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    I had a wet dream about you last night. I pissed myself with laughter when you fell off a cliff.


    Head your with fu##ed just has me like cu#t a that realised have you that moment this at is it. Now read this backwards.
    "I want to thank you lord, so far this day. With your help i haven't been impatient, lost my temper, been grumpy, judgemental, or envious of anyone. But i will be going out in a minute and i think i will really need your help to start my bike. Amen."

  5. #65
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    8th November 2004 - 11:00
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    Went to see a friend's new baby yesterday. She asked me if I'd like to wind it. I thought 'Fuck me, that's a bit harsh". So I gave it a dead leg instead.
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  6. #66
    Join Date
    10th June 2003 - 12:00
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    Re: Share your txt jokes

    Whats the difference between a Walrus & a hardcore Dyke...?

    One has a moustache & smells of fish - the other is a Walrus !!!

    ************************************************

    Went to the cemetary the other day & saw four men carrying a coffin...

    Three hours later I saw the same four men with the same coffin & I thought to myself they've lost the fucking plot !!!

    *************************************************

    Little girl was crying in Farmers because she'd lost her Mum...

    Security gaurd asked "Whats ya Mum like...?"

    The little girl replied "Big cocks & Vodka" !!!



    Cheers

    To finish first - first you must finish... Oh b.t.w, which way doe's Turn 1 go & whats the lap record...

  7. #67
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    8th November 2004 - 11:00
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    The recent event in Albany was not a kidnapping. It was a just another chinese takeaway.
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  8. #68
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    27th June 2008 - 21:25
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    Hey can you Help me? Iv just been arrested for possession........ of good looks cops said I need an ugly bugger to bail me out, can you hurry?

  9. #69
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    27th June 2008 - 21:25
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    A cannibal is found crying next to a large pile of shit. His mate asks whats wrong? The cannibal replies I've just dumped my girlfriend

  10. #70
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    27th June 2008 - 21:25
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    scientists have discovered that the average cock weighs 8 ounces but cant decide what the average cunt weighs, can you pop on the scales and tex me back?

  11. #71
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    25th October 2005 - 20:40
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    People have been talking about you but i stuck up for ya.
    They were saying you like dick sandwiches. I said "no! you dont like bread"
    Member #3164 of the SHITMARK haters club.

  12. #72
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    17th February 2007 - 23:51
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    What do you call a polynesian full of shit
    Fartoo Fulofeaces...
    Quote Originally Posted by peasea View Post
    It could be argued that to put anyone on a ZX10 is "just stupid".



    CNC Machining,Precision Engineering,Thermal Coatings/Metalization,
    Msg me....

  13. #73
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    17th February 2007 - 23:51
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    I keep getting my profile rejected on that dating site Match.com,
    One of the questions is What do you want in a woman?
    Apparently 'My Cock" is not an answer....
    Quote Originally Posted by peasea View Post
    It could be argued that to put anyone on a ZX10 is "just stupid".



    CNC Machining,Precision Engineering,Thermal Coatings/Metalization,
    Msg me....

  14. #74
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    24th October 2007 - 08:19
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    A racist one....

    What do you do when you see a black man coming out of the bush all covered in blood?................

    Stay calm........re-load
    Cats land on their feet. Toast lands jamside down.
    A cat glued to some jam toast will hover in quantum indecision


    Curiosity was framed; ignorance killed the cat

    Fix a computer and it'll break tomorrow.
    Teach its owner to fix it and it'll break in some way you've never seen before.

  15. #75
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    18th July 2007 - 18:16
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    why dont you run over a Maori when you see him riding a pushbike.

    It could be your bike.

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