3 Guys at strip bar.Dancer crouchs,Irishman puts $10 on breast,Pakeha puts $20 in G.string,Maori pulls out ATM Card and swipes her ass and takes the $30.
When the moon hits your eye,like a bigga pizza pie,that's amore,but when your hit by a jug in a south auckland pub, that's a-maori.
A maori walks into a jewellers and begins 2 finger his arse.Jeweller screams "GET OUT",maori points 2 sign "come in and pick ure ring in comfort.
Fair weather rider
....a baby seal walks into a club........Originally Posted by CB ARGH
A man walked into a bar.
Ouch.
Off the wagon
A new Middle East crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused
permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.
A spokesman for the channel said....
'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but
we have heard that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'
Scooter boy
Police were called to an incident of a man smashing coconuts on the side of the road, when asked what he was doing he replied " Killing the fuckers before they hatch"
kiss my
boy goes to a shop and buys a pussy flavored ice cream but doesnt like it. so he takes it back says it tastes like shit....shop owner says take shorter licks
"your car is boring"
Fair weather rider
I shagged a deaf mute last night when i woke up i felt really ashamed so i broke all her fingers so she wouldnt tell anyone!
A Klu Klux clan member has just had his rottweiler chipped.It is now up to 10 niggerbytes a day.
Boy sees mum in shower,ask what that hairy thing is? That's my possum! Boy says grandmas got one 2 but it must be dead because the tongues hangin out!
A baby monkey asked his Mum,"Why are we so ugly?" Mum replied "Son,thank God we look like this,You should see the poor cunt reading this message!
My girlfriend wanted me to make love 2 her like in the movies.So i stuck it in her arse and cum on her face.She got mad.I guess we don't watch the same movies.
This sex,is sex,a sex,good sex,way sex,2 sex,keep sex,a sex,thick sex,cunt sex,busy sex,4 sex.20 sex seconds sex. READ IT ALL AGAIN WITH OUT THE SEX
African boxer jigabo wogchops has just returned 2 boxing after losing his feet in an accident.He has now recorded 10 wins without defeet.
Sexual position 69er is now called 96er.Due to inflation,the cost of eating out has gone up.
Baa baa Big Cock,Have u any sperm? Yes Man,yes Man,2 balls firm.None 4 the girlfriend & none 4 the ex.All 4 the dirty bitch who's readin this txt....
I have 3 bitches:Bitch#1 cooks,cleans and does my laundry,Bitch #2 gives me great sex,and bitch#3 reads my text msgs,Wuz up my bitch...?
Twinkle twinkle throbing knob,how she loves it the gob...but when the knob begins 2 twitch,she spits it out,the selfish bitch.
Fairings Optional...
A vicar books into the hotel room an says to the receptionist, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled" she replies, "no its just regular porn you sick bastard"
For mine is the suffering, and the power, and the glory, two wheels for ever and ever, amen.
Fairings Optional...
Blond takes her car to the mechanic for repair, mechanic fixes it in two minutes "just shit in the air filter" he says. Blond replys "how often do I do that?"
For mine is the suffering, and the power, and the glory, two wheels for ever and ever, amen.
Hardcore Biker
A man walks outside and sees his neighbour shaking a rug.
He yells out..
Hey Abdul..
Wont it start
And that is the honest truth your honour..
Pasta La Vista
The secret service are having a nightmare training the new president against terrorist attacks.Every time they shout"GET DOWN' the stupid fucker starts dancing.
Never too old to Rock n Roll.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I've got miserly tourettes and I don't give a fuck.
2 guys in loo see a poofter with a nicotine patch on his cock.Hey does that really work? "Yeah" says the poofter I'm down to 2 butts a day.
Man shagging wife says:Bend over babe we'll try the W.I.N.Z position. What the fucks that she says? When my balls touch your ass your getting THE FULL BENEFIT.
Man says 2 wife ure ass is the size of a 3 burner BBQ. L8r in bed man says 'how bout a bit" Wife says "no fuck'n point lighting a BBQ for half a sausage"
5 Things not to say in a gay bar,-well fuck me,-bottoms up,-can someone push my stool in,-can i bum a fag,- and i'll toss you for the next round.
Fairings Optional...
Sorry not quite the short txt joke you where expecting, jus got this emailed to me at work....
Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bob's wife, Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.
Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bob's wife followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you like under there?' Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he did. She said, 'Well, you can have it but it will cost you £500.'
After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirms that he is interested.
Sue told him that since her husband Bob worked Friday afternoons and Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.
When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Bob's house at 2 p..m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of £500 - they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed.
Jim quickly dressed and left.
As usual, Bob came home from work at 6 p.m. And upon arriving, asked his wife: 'Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?'
With a lump in her throat Sue answered 'Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.' Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, 'And did he give you £500?'
Sue, using her best poker face, replied, 'Well, yes, in fact he did give me £500.'
Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, 'He came by the office this morning and borrowed £500 from me. He promised he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back.'
For mine is the suffering, and the power, and the glory, two wheels for ever and ever, amen.
2 whakes overturn a ship usin their blow holes.Shall we eat the crew asked mr whale absolutely not said mrs whale.I do blow jobs but i dont swallow seamen
some girls beg & some girls borrow,some girls lead & some girls follow,some bring joy & some bring sorrow,but all the best girls suck then swallow..
Black man went 2 dr said im addicted 2 jogging dr said sniff this white powder.Black man asks is it cocaine no said dr its persil it stops colours running.
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