Share your txt jokes

**crazyhorse** · 22nd January 2010, 08:52

Aren't blow up dolls fucking great?
I mean, where else can you find a woman that always looks shocked at the size of your cock?

**Leviticus** · 22nd January 2010, 09:06

Same rubbish man sees a Chinese man leaning on his fence and asks "wheres ya bin?"
"In the bathroom" replies the chink
"No, your dustbin?" asks the binman " I just been having a shit" replies the slope
"NO, Your Wheelie bin?"
"OK, I really bin having a wank"

**crazyhorse** · 27th January 2010, 10:04

COMING SOON: THE ASPIRIN TAX

NEWS BULLETIN: LABOUR IS GOING TO IMPOSE A 40% TAX ON ASPIRIN!

WHY?...

WELL, PRIMARILY BECAUSE IT’S WHITE AND IT WORKS.

**crazyhorse** · 4th February 2010, 15:37

Man goes to wizard and asks, can you lift a curse put on me years ago?
Maybe, says the wizard, if you can remember the exact words.

Man replies, "I now pronounce you man and wife"

**crazyhorse** · 4th February 2010, 15:38

Latest club craze is to fill a womans vagina with vodka then suck it out using a straw.
The Health experts are now warning about the dangers of milnge drinking

**MSTRS:Me** · 7th February 2010, 15:50

A scientist has invented a bra that stops tits bouncing up and down, and nipples from sticking out when it's cold. His colleagues have kicked his fucking head in...

**crazyhorse** · 7th February 2010, 18:46

Police scanner just reported a drunk naked blonde wearing snow boots, singing "I'm a believer" riding a donkey down Broadway!
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

**crazyhorse** · 7th February 2010, 19:59

Cops just found semen in a female murder victims ear..... Its highly likely she heard her killer coming

**crazyhorse** · 7th February 2010, 20:00

The sad life of a vagina....
My hairs a mess, my mates are lippy, my neighbours an asshole, my visitors are dicks and my owner keeps giving me the finger!

**crazyhorse** · 7th February 2010, 20:02

Twins talking inside Mothers womb
Twin 1: The place is shaking, Daddys here again. He's early today
Twin 2: Shhhh, thats not Daddy, cause Daddy doesn't wear a raincoat!

**one fast tl1ooo** · 7th February 2010, 20:22

In my biology exam today i was asked to name 2 things commonly found in cells. apparently maori's and coconuts is not the correct answer.

**golfmade** · 9th February 2010, 04:06

How do you sink a Swedish submarine? Swim down and knock on the hatch.

TAOISM: Shit happens. ISLAM: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. CATHOLICISM: If shit happens, you deserved it. JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to us? MORMON: 10% of my shit belongs to God. SCIENTOLOGY: Shit can happen to you too. RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this shit.

**crazyhorse** · 9th February 2010, 07:58

I was at my girlfriends for diner the other night, when she asked me to turn the veg on.
Apparently fingering her disabled sister in the wheelchair is not what she meant!

**crazyhorse** · 9th February 2010, 17:13

It was the happiest day of my life. I arrived at the church. Husband waiting at the alter. I walked up the aisle and kissed him on the cheek.
Smiled, and closed the fuckin lid