Girl: "So what do you do for a living then?" Bloke: "I'm a ventriloquist". Girl: "Really? You will have to show me some time". Bloke: "I can show you now if you like, let me put my hand up your skirt and I'll make your lips move".
My boss just asked "Do you think you can come in on Saturday this week? I know you enjoy your weekends but I need you here". "Yeah no problem, I'll probably be late though as the public transport is bad on weekends". "Okay, when do you think you'll get here then?" "Monday".
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