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Thread: Share your txt jokes

  1. #1
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    27th November 2006 - 19:32
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    Share your txt jokes

    Just been sent a text as follows.

    Just dropped a girl home this morning,she was a gorgeous Pakistany chick,after screwing her I scratched her red dot and won a commodore.
    Hello officer put it on my tab

    Don't steal the government hates competition.

  2. #2
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    1st October 2005 - 21:01
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    Woman are like parking spaces, sometimes all the good one's are taken so when no one's looking you have to stick it in a disabled one.
    SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY
    BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

  3. #3
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    5th April 2004 - 20:04
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    All mine are rascist in nature, cos just one fella sends me jokes and he's of the darker skin toned variety.

    Let me know if people will be offended before I post them.

  4. #4
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    There are 3 dolls in a mans life.
    His daughter... Babydoll
    His Mistress ... Barbiedoll
    and his Wife... Panadol
    SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY
    BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

  5. #5
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    Why can't a man ever please a woman?

    Because no man has a dick made of chocolate which ejaculates money!!
    SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY
    BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

  6. #6
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    18th August 2006 - 15:51
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    It was the best day of my life.. arrived at church.. husband waiting at the alter.. walked up the isle.. kissed him on the cheek.. smiled.. and CLOSED THE FUCKING LID!!!!!!!!!
    GET ON
    SIT DOWN
    SHUT UP
    HANG ON

  7. #7
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    18th August 2006 - 15:51
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    Happy Birthday.. I was gonna send u somethin HOT, HORNY and SEXY AS HELL!!!! but da postman told me to take the stamps off my arse & get the fuck OUT OF THE POSTBOX!!!!!!!!!!
    GET ON
    SIT DOWN
    SHUT UP
    HANG ON

  8. #8
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    18th August 2006 - 15:51
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    A reasent studdi haz chown thet peapel hoo aar fukinn amezin in bed.. r krap ad spalling
    GET ON
    SIT DOWN
    SHUT UP
    HANG ON

  9. #9
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    Japanese scientists have created a camera with such fast shutter speed they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
    SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY
    BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

  10. #10
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    I was thinking about you the other day, I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread, Then when I looked closer I realised it said "Thick Cut" not "Thick Cunt"
    SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY
    BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

  11. #11
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    If you have sex with a prostitute, without her consenting, is that rape...or shop lifting?

  12. #12
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    Someone told my to watch out for you. That you were two faced.
    I said Bullshit! If you were two faced, why would you use the ugly one all the time?
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  13. #13
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    women standing in front of the mirrior getting ready to go out.
    My arse is fat, my boobs are drooping and Im looking old
    Say something nice to me she says to her husband.
    Well darling he said you've got bloody good eyesight!
    On a Motorcycle you're penetrating distance, right along with the machine!! In a car you're just a spectator, the windshields like a TV!!

    'Life's Journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out! Shouting, ' Holy sh!t... What a Ride!! '

  14. #14
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    Oh good...all the buttons are working
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  15. #15
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    Wife naked in front of mirror: "I want bigger boobs - Pay for a boob job."
    Husband: "Save money, just rub toilet paper between the ones you have."
    Wife: "Why do you think that will make them bigger?"
    Husband: "It seems to have done the trick with your arse. Must be worth a try!"

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