Your IDEAL relationship model - please read first post before responding to poll

[Wolf]

OK, inspired by the Monogamy - outdated concept or not? thread, I've decided to run a little poll.

I've had to cut back the options to broad categories and probably missed a few but I wanted to be able to differentiate male and female.

For obvious reasons, the poll is anonymous.

Please read the following before posting and put some thought into what sort of relationship you're honestly most comfortable with:

This is regarding your ideal relationship model - not necessarily the one you are in right now (you may currently be unintentionally single/celibate, for example).

Monogamous: Whether strict monogamy (only ever have one partner in your entire life) or "serial monogamy" (only one partner at a time but not opposed to the concept of finding another partner if a partner dies or the relationship does not work).

Poly-something: Some form of mutually-consenting emotionally-based non-monogamous relationship - polygamy, polyamory, polyfidelity, open marriages etc - there's a wiki page listing them here butfor the purposes of this poll do not include "swingers". You or your partner or both are fine with emotional attachments being formed with other people.

Swinger: Mutually-consenting purely sexual non-monogamy - "partner swapping" for fun. All "goes South" if emotional ties develop outside the primary relationship.

Non-commital sex: Relationships? Commitment? Who needs 'em? Get the sexual needs met and then move on. Have lots of different lovers over a period of time.

Cheating: Having [an] additional partner(s) outside of a relationship without consent (perhaps for the risk factor? Who knows?).

Lets see how the numbers stack up. Is our little corner of the community predominently monogamous or poly? Do more of us prefer honest relationships or deceitful ones? Are the men or women on KB more inclined to monogamy etc.

No real reason for this poll except my abiding love of "what makes people tick?" Here's hoping the level of discussion is such that this stays in Rant or Rave and does not degenerate to the point where it's consigned to PD.

[007XX]

eeerrr...where's the poll thingy Wolfie?

[Wolf]

eeerrr...where's the poll thingy Wolfie?

Takes a while to come through, V

[007XX]

Takes a while to come through, V

Apologies sir...I shall attempt to restrict my "over eager puppy" urges...

[ManDownUnder]

it will be interesting to see how the traditional biological imperatives fit into the results (i.e. women tend to a single nuturing partner while males want to sew their seeds)

[Beemer]

it will be interesting to see how the traditional biological imperatives fit into the results (i.e. women tend to a single nuturing partner while males want to sew their seeds)

And stitch a few women up at the same time?

[Wolf]

it will be interesting to see how the traditional biological imperatives fit into the results (i.e. women tend to a single nuturing partner while males want to sew their seeds)

Hmmmm, yeah, though you could probably come up with theoretical "biological imperatives" to explain contradicting results, too.

I'm surprised at the speed with which results have come up - I scarcely refreshed my screen after the poll activated and there were a couple of poly and swinger votes already. At least one who likes cheating so far, too.

Would be interested in knowing why people cheat, though I fear that would blow up quite badly if posted in the open forum.

[ManDownUnder]

Would be interested in knowing why people cheat, though I fear that would blow up quite badly if posted in the open forum.

Can answer that from general observations and conversations with various people as I walk through life.

It comes down to two things:
1) Wanting their youth back. It was fun way back when - I want to know I'm still attractive, I'll pick up someone, I'll pick up lots of people to prove it
2) Relationship with differing libidos where one (low libido) is satisfied with their lot, the other (high libido) isn't, is trapped in a monogomous relationship they don't want to destroy (kids, love their partner... other possible options etc).

They do what they can on the sly and resolve it that way.

Further interesting note on Point 2 are those relationships where the male is the low libido partner. There seems to be a shame in that... being less of a man, not being able to satisfy a woman, living up to stereotyped expectations etc

[jrandom]

Interesting that we seem to be getting a strong representation from the polyamorists.

I would have expected that to be the rarest inclination. True multiple emotional connections are a difficult thing to balance.

I rather suspect that our would-be poly-somethings are actually more the swinging or playing-the-field sorts, and didn't consider the poll carefully enough.

...

Is anyone else thinking that Mr Mental Pants is going to have a ball giggling over these 'anonymous' results?

[Str8 Jacket]

Is anyone else thinking that Mr Mental Pants is going to have a ball giggling over these 'anonymous' results?

Yep! Especially when KBers in relationships vote differently!

[kiwifruit]

women tend to a single nuturing partner

[jrandom]

Yep! Especially when KBers in relationships vote differently!

I'm tempted to see what it'd take to bribe him for the list.

And then do mankind a favour by gunning down the filthy little oxygen thieves who ticked the last option.

[judecatmad]

Relationship with differing libidos where one (low libido) is satisfied with their lot, the other (high libido) isn't, is trapped in a monogomous relationship they don't want to destroy (kids, love their partner... other possible options etc).

They do what they can on the sly and resolve it that way.

It's still no excuse for cheating tho - I'm a true believer in being committed to the person I'm with, through good, bad and ugly. If I want more, I need to get off my chuff and out of the relationship I'm currently in. Why would I hurt the one who has put so much trust and faith in me just to get whatever may be lacking?

I'm not saying that your above scenario applies to my relationship, but that I disagree with your justification of cheating.

But hey, if we were all the same, life would be pretty boring, eh?! Each to their own

[jrandom]

It comes down to two things:
1) Wanting their youth back...
2) Relationship with differing libidos...

None of the cheating that I've been directly involved in or known of first-hand was due to either of those reasons.

I think you need to go back to the drawing-board.

[Str8 Jacket]

And then do mankind a favour by gunning down the filthy little oxygen thieves who ticked the last option.

Hmmm, bloody women eh! Well *I* didnt choose the last option, thank god for that.....