Pussy and such
A little boy walks in a bathroom and sees his seventy year old
Granny standing up in the bath.
He looks at her minge, points and says "What's that Granny?"
"That's my pussy," replies Gran.
The boy keeps staring at it and finally says,
"Well I think it's dead, 'cos it's got no fur and all it's guts are hanging out!"
A guy says to his wife, "I'm in the mood for some 69." She says, "It's that time of the month, but if you don't care, I don't care.
They go into the bedroom, and are 69'ing like mad dogs when the doorbell rings.
She says, "Answer the door"
"He says, "But my face is a mess."
She says, "It's just the postman. Answer the door, and if he says anything, just tell him you were eating a jam sandwich."
He opens the door and says, "I'm sorry about my mouth, I was eating a jam sandwich."
The mailman says, "I wasn't looking at the jam on your mouth...I was looking at the peanut butter on your forehead."
An Italian family is at the dinner table when the father says to his oldest son, "Tony! Why you-a such a fat-a fuck?"
Tony says, "Poppa, it's-a Mama's spaghetti! I can't-a stop-a eating it."
Poppa says, "You should-a take-a smaller bites!" Then Poppa says to his middle son, "Michael! Why you-a such a fat-a fuck?"
Michael says, "Poppa, it's-a Mama's lasagna. I can't-a stop-a eating it, it's-a so good."
Poppa says, "You should-a also take-a smaller bites." Then Poppa says to his youngest son, "Fredo! How you-a stay so slim-a and-a trim-a."
Fredo says, "It's-a so easy, Poppa. I eat-a lots and lots of-a pussy."
Poppa says, "Pussy? Pussy, that's-a taste like shit!"
Fredo says, "Poppa, You should-a take-a smaller bites!"
Political correctness: a doctrine which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd from the clean end.
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