Definition of LOW!!!

[Fub@r]

Basic background:

Had a son 10 years ago, relationship ended when he was 2 yrs old. When he was born we got a bank account opened in his name where his birthday money went, plus my partner and I paid in a weekly amount each.

Given my partners obsession with money I took a hands off approach, anyway she told me that the account she had setup was locked until he was 18 yrs old. Given that I wasn't concerned about it when I left the relationship as it was "locked"

Anyway recently my son is becoming quite vocal about wanting to live with me and has told his mother also. She has now turned around and said to him if he ever comes to live with me she will clean out his bank account. We are not talking $100 here, we are talking several thousand dollars!!

Checked with the bank today and apparently my ex is the signing authourity on the account and it is not "locked" in as she had said and she can clean it out whenever she wants.

The money aspect isn't the real issue the fact she would blackmail a 10 yr old is disgusting

[James Deuce]

Chicks. What can you say?

[Edbear]

I'd have a quiet word with a lawyer...

[yungatart]

To steal off your own child!
I agree...that is really low!
I don't know what you can do about it...but you could be awfully glad that you aren't still in the relationship.
Jim2...we're not all like that, you know.

[Mom]

Very sad when adults do this sort of thing to kids. Sadly it happens all the time.

I guess you have some decisions to make. If your son comes to live with you, at the very least she will have to pay child support for him. Is she working? If so then it will be 18% of her wages after a living allowance is deducted. It is punative!

A sensible approach to things may be a good thing to promote. She leaves that money alone, you be reasonable about child support. She touches it, and you go all official on her. Trust me, as one who is caught up in this nightmare, the last thing she needs is IRD calling the shots with her income.

Best of luck mate!

[BIHB@0610]

That really is disgusting. I'm constantly amazed at the ability of adults to behave like idiots and harm their own children.

Several thousand dollars you say? I'm not sure of your circumstances, but can you afford to start up another bank account with a similar sum in it? Just thinking it might be nigh impossible to change her (scheming cows are usually pretty entrenched in their thinking) but you might be able to give your son a choice, take the pressure off him totally. If you go to a lawyer you'll probably end up paying close to that depending how far it goes.

At the end of the day, if you don't stoop to her level, or even talk positively to your son about her good points, he will understand who is the better person.

Sending you positive thoughts anyway.

[janno]

Perhaps now is as good a time as any for your son to learn the true value of money ie NOTHING!!, compared to living with people who love him and care for him and his wellbeing.

Your son no doubt is not stupid, and will see quite clearly that his mother is trying to blackmail him to stay. She has made a terrible, terrible mistake and one day she just might wake up and realise the damage she has done.

Don't let money cloud the issue, you need to work out if him living with you is the best option, and if it is, then start doing the legal stuff required.

Good luck, I can imagine it must be really frustrating dealing with an ex who thinks like that.

[jrandom]

Don't negotiate with terrorists.

Tell the bitch to get fucked, borrow the same amount from the bank, and stick it into an account that's properly set up.

Then throw your son a proper welcome-home party and enjoy the rest of your lives without her.

[NinjaNanna]

Here's my 2c for what its worth, by the way this is general advice and is not meant to single you out - if that makes sense.

Explain to your son that grown ups make mistakes and say things that they don't mean, too, especially when they are scared.

Explain to him that his mother would be very sad to for him to go, and the thought of not having him around scares her. Explain to him that you don't think his mother would really take his money (even if you do) and that it was just a silly thing that she said because she was scared.

Explain to him that you would still love him to come and live with you and that he shouldn't be worried about the money and that money isn't everything, happiness is important too.

Regardless of your relationship with your ex-partner sometimes we just need to be the bigger man and in this case I think that it is vital to defend your Son's ideal of his mother (not for his mother's sake but for his).

[jrandom]

... in this case I think that it is vital to defend your Son's ideal of his mother (not for his mother's sake but for his).

I dunno, eh.

Learning early on that blindly trusting women who claim to care about him is a bad idea will probably serve Fub@r's son very well in later life.

[NinjaNanna]

I dunno, eh.

Learning early on that blindly trusting women who claim to care about him is a bad idea will probably serve Fub@r's son very well in later life.

Unless she truely is Satan's own spawn, do you truely believe a 10yr old doesn't need their mother?

[jrandom]

Unless she truely is Satan's own spawn, do you truely believe a 10yr old doesn't need their mother?

Well, I believe my life, f'rinstance, would have been a lot better if someone had disappeared my mother from it around age 10.

[whistlersmother]

Basic background:

The money aspect isn't the real issue the fact she would blackmail a 10 yr old is disgusting

You knocked her up....

[Gubb]

You knocked her up....

And you're a dick.

Be constructive, it's an issue that isn't really all that funny to joke about.

[MSTRS:Me]

Spare us...that is a disgusting thing for her to threaten. If your 'relationship' with her is not good, then maybe she means what she says. In which case, can you get the account balance/history?? And have your son's lawyer made aware of the situation. He will have one that was appointed by the court at the time of custody being decided (assuming you went that way).