Two women and a bike

[Bikernereid]

As I am not a mother I would love to ask any of you mum's out there, when are you old enough not be be considered your mother's little girl and to go against her wishes?

I am looking to buy a motorbike for me and my bloke so we can go travelling around Europe but my mother is freaking. She wants me to buy another car as opposed to a bike because a car is safer; I was in a car crash last week where my car was written off my a bloody white van driver.

I can understand that as my dad is no longer with us and my bro is estranged that I am her closest family, but I would have thought that at aged 34 I might have accrued enough life experience to be able to make a sensible decision re buying a bike. I am not looking to buy a sports bike as much as I LOVE them cos I know that spening a month around Europe on such a bike would just be way too painful.

So how can I try and pursuade my mother that just cos I was in a car crash it is not the end of the world if I buy a motorbike?

[nadroj]

Just do it! It's the only way to let her know you are making your owner decisions now. If she complains then tell her you heard what she said & thank her for her concern.
Kev

[Bikernereid]

I do make my own decisions but I try to bear in mind her feelings too; she has been through a really tough time over the last couple of year.

What she doesn't seem to grasp is that if I had have been on a bike the accident wouldn't have happened. She is a fatalist and thinks I would ahve had an accident no matter what.

She is just very concerned with my safety but I can't afford a cage and bike and really want to go round Europe 2up (faster, cheaper & more fun).

Not being a mother I really can't get what is going on in her head.

Just do it! It's the only way to let her know you are making your owner decisions now. If she complains then tell her you heard what she said & thank her for her concern.
Kev

[surfchick]

As I am not a mother I would love to ask any of you mum's out there, when are you old enough not be be considered your mother's little girl and to go against her wishes?

I am looking to buy a motorbike for me and my bloke so we can go travelling around Europe but my mother is freaking. She wants me to buy another car as opposed to a bike because a car is safer; I was in a car crash last week where my car was written off my a bloody white van driver.

I can understand that as my dad is no longer with us and my bro is estranged that I am her closest family, but I would have thought that at aged 34 I might have accrued enough life experience to be able to make a sensible decision re buying a bike. I am not looking to buy a sports bike as much as I LOVE them cos I know that spening a month around Europe on such a bike would just be way too painful.

So how can I try and pursuade my mother that just cos I was in a car crash it is not the end of the world if I buy a motorbike?

Buy a nice tourer, have a great trip, send her pix by email every day to show you are alive, and turn up back at home with the best ever photo album and good presents for mum from europe.

[Sofa]

Haha, I did it only about a month ago when I got my licence. Ii'm still pretty young, but I know my mum will never be 'happy' with it. Haha, I got a dump of a car and she's willing to buy me a nicer one but never in a million ears would she even consider helping me buy a bike... I think its something that most women just don't understand, and I've still been trying to reassure her about it everyday by telling her how safe I'm going to be and not to worry. But I think as I am her only (beautiful, lovely) daughter that she's always going to worry about it and there's not much I can do but come home each night unscathed.

Yeah so just do what surfchick says and let her know each day that you're alive and well I mean, she's probably never going to be happy about it if you're 34 and she's still worrying (assuming you've been riding for a while and are a grown independent woman), so just tell her you're doing it and that it's something that really means a lot to you. And that you love her

[Riff Raff]

At 34 years old, it's time your mum started letting go a bit. Tell her that you've taken on board what she says and appreciate her concern, but you can't live your life wrapped in cotton wool. Life is for living and making the most of every day. If going round Europe on a bike is something you really really want to do then you should do it, otherwise you'll just go through life with regrets and end up being miserable. As Surfchick says, keep in touch with her regularly on your trip. Or perhaps your mum can even meet up with you somewhere on your trip for a mini break for herself. It would give her something to look forward to and make her feel part of your journey.

[fireliv]

My mum learned a long time ago to let me do what I want, if I fall at least I fell doing what I wanted to do. Dont live in her shadows.

Just be as reassuring to her as possible. Like earlier stated contact her everyday so she knows ure ok. Try and explain to her why you want a bike and how it makes you feel when you ride.
Its a fact of life that we do a lot of things that our parents dont like, but thats cos we are not them. They just have to learn to live with it.

[Sofa]

Or perhaps your mum can even meet up with you somewhere on your trip for a mini break for herself. It would give her something to look forward to and make her feel part of your journey.[/QUOTE]

Would never even think of that! Totally agree

[Nagash]

I wouldn't recommend contacting her every day.. because then when you're going through the more baron, or interesting parts of Europe and you're unable to get a message out to her she'll freak.

Just a thought.

[MVnut]

Pretty much agree with Surfchick, go and enjoy yourself, ride safely, stay in contact and take heaps of photos. Europe has amazing bike-roads, you will not regret your trip (unless you don't go). Stay away from the centreline in Italy, everyone cuts corners. I ride there every year (July this year) and wouldn't miss it

[BiK3RChiK]

Mums! Just do it!! She'll get over it eventually.. My mum still talks to me even though I do some wild things she doesn't approve of. Keep the more exhilarating experiences to yourself and those who approve and she'll never know! Life is a journey to be enjoyed, otherwise, you'll get too old and 'wish I'd done this or that' and then you'll have heaps of regrets. Tell her to get over it, and go and have fun.

Just my 0.02, M

[sAsLEX]

pfftt I was never allowed a bike at home due to Mum...... so I shaved my head shipped off and now start to get withdrawal symptoms if I haven't ridden for a few days

[flame]

thought you already had a bike?

how did she cope the first time?

[maxworldbiker]

I agree with the whole Just Do It thing, because life is short and you have to do what makes you happy. Explain to your Mum that this will make you happy! Its a dream you cherish, a wonderful opportunity that most people only dream of, and one helpful thing you can do to reassure her (and other people who might be anxious about you while you're gone) is set up a blog so they can all follow your progress as it happens. That way they can see how much fun you're having and be happy for and with you.

If it helps, tell your Mum you know of other women who have done this kind of thing and survived. I did a two-month ride across the USA last year, I did it by myself, and it was one of the best life experiences I've ever had. Tell her about Jo and Gareth Morgan, and anyone else you can think of that has done this sort of thing and felt the same way. Would Mum want you to miss out on something that great? I reckon probably not. Its just the worry.

There's no magic wand for alleviating someone else's worries about safety with motorcycles, but all you can do is follow your own dream, let them see how well its all going, and give them time to figure out for themselves that they don't need to be that frightened for you, or for what something bad happening to you is going to mean for them.

Personally, my biggest fear has never been that I'll end up under some 18 wheeler on a freeway somewhere. Its more that I'll be on my deathbed someday, and wishing I'd done that great thing I always dreamed of doing, whatever it might be, when its all too late to make it happen. I couldn't imagine anything worse than that.

You have a choice about what you do with your life. Equally, other people have a choice about how they react to that, and that is outside of your control. You cannot be responsible for someone else's fear, even if its someone close to you.

[n0regret5]

i know EXACTLY where you're coming from..and i defied my mum at age 18 and went and got a facial piercing that she told me i couldn't have. thats fairly different to a bike..but yeh..well my point is it sorta slackened the leash a bit, and we still get along real well. if not better. its your life - go tell her exactly what you're doing, but probably be best to have a good reason for it (i assume you do, if its to test out the autobahn DON'T TELL HER THAT...) :-D
its an unfortunate situation as at your age you should be firmly in control of your decision making..i'm sure the hurt feelings will heal if there are any.:-)