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Thread: Calling all bullshit artists!

  1. #16
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    You have a flood at home and need to wait for the plummer, should be in after lunch (or whenever)

  2. #17
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    OK people, I really need excuses cause as of last pay I had 1.5 hours of annual leave owing. I have used all day's that I had accrued already!
    "Some people are like clouds, once they fuck off, it's a great day!"

  3. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs Kendog View Post
    You have a flood at home and need to wait for the plummer, should be in after lunch (or whenever)
    Now THAT'S what im talking about!
    "Some people are like clouds, once they fuck off, it's a great day!"

  4. #19
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    Just push the fire alarm button at the time you want to leave!

    You'll be too traumatised to get back to work straight away.

    - Never fails.

    Hey, maybe that's what lost me my job :-o

  5. #20
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    Your cat is bleeding from the ears and you have to take her to the vet, shouldn't take too long.....

  6. #21
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    If it is all the same to you, I won't be coming in to work this morning. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.

    Can't come in today, the springs on the garage door broke and I can't get the bike out cause the door won't open.

    My dog is having puppies and I need to help her.

    I am sick with the Lack. Lack of ambition.

    I'm sorry I was late, I forgot to look at my watch!!!
    No body move... I dropped my brain

  7. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs Kendog View Post
    Your cat is bleeding from the ears and you have to take her to the vet, shouldn't take too long.....
    You've done this before havent you! I like this one to! Maybe my cat started bleeding after Malcolm flooded teh laundry.....
    "Some people are like clouds, once they fuck off, it's a great day!"

  8. #23
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    police have caught your stalker and you need to go down to the police station to ID him.

  9. #24
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    just claim mental health day,
    or ill come work for you
    I've learnt to hide the pain inside, open the throttle and ride away.

  10. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Str8 Jacket View Post
    You've done this before havent you! I like this one to! Maybe my cat started bleeding after Malcolm flooded teh laundry.....
    Yes.... that and I'm full of shit.

  11. #26
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    Not wishing to appear like a radical, but how about "I have a job interview".

    Oh, silly me, assuming a rational workplace once again.

    Dave
    Signature needed. Apply within.

  12. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by RantyDave View Post
    Not wishing to appear like a radical, but how about "I have a job interview".

    Oh, silly me, assuming a rational workplace once again.

    Dave
    lol, remember were talking about *my* place of work. Anyway. Id much rather "spring" it on them and give them a taste of their own medicine!
    "Some people are like clouds, once they fuck off, it's a great day!"

  13. #28
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    If you have a male for a boss you just say you have female thingy's to deal with trust me we dont want to know
    Second is the fastest loser

    "It is better to have ridden & crashed than never to have ridden at all" by Bruce Bennett

    DB is the new Porridge. Cause most of the mods must be sucking his cock ..... Or his giving them some oral help? How else can you explain it?

  14. #29
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    Just tell them you have a dentist's appointment (or a doctors). I'm pretty sure that you are entitled to take time off for such occurences.

    Of course you would be telling a porky, which is morally reprehensible.

  15. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs Kendog View Post
    You have a flood at home and need to wait for the plummer, should be in after lunch (or whenever)
    I like that one...similarly, "Some kid in the neighborhood threw a stone at one of my windows, and I need to have it replaced as the house wouldn't be secure otherwise".

    Bear in mind, this is the sort of thing that needs to be said with assurance: practice in front of the mirror, and get yourself angry about it as if it had really happened: it will show in your voice and your boss will not dare refuse you the time off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf View Post
    Time to cut out the "holier/more enlightened than thou" bullshit and the "slut" comments and let people live honestly how they like providing they're not harming themselves or others in the process.

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