Excuse me please.

**spookytooth** · 17th March 2008, 17:59

Just wander in dressed all nice like.Then in a loud clear voice say "so who is the guilty prick thats we are sending to jail today then"

**P38** · 17th March 2008, 18:02

Originally Posted by MisterD

Right seeing as this is KB, home to the biggest bunch of lying, cheating, coniving SOB's that I could think of (but in a nice way

)...I thought it was the perfect place to get advice on how to be excused from jury service.

MrD

Turn up to the Jury selection room.

If ya get picked to go through to the court room

Put ya hand up when they ask if you know any of the defendants or witnesses.

When asked tell em

I know some of them guilty bastards, should be a quick trial too.

You'll most likely be invited to leave at this point.

Job Done.

**MisterD** · 17th March 2008, 18:02

Originally Posted by Steam

Oh I am so envious, I'd love to do jury duty.
I went to see court operating for a day as part of my course, it was a real eye-opener, very interesting.

A couple of weeks would have been educational, at ten weeks it's just too much time, although probably an interesting case (when's the Bain re-trial?). I'm starting to see why people cast doubt on the level of competence of most juries...I mean, who of the working public can afford ten weeks away from work?

**Nasty** · 17th March 2008, 18:03

I have always got a medical discharge .. but you can get your boss to write in with how busy you are .. and how they won't cope without you.!

**karla** · 17th March 2008, 18:03

Originally Posted by MisterD

S'right, I've got the summons for some case in mid-April set down for 10 weeks...yep 10, so it's sure to be a good 'un, right?

Originally Posted by Big Dave

Hum Twilight Zone theme please.

I just received a summons. Only for a week.

Originally Posted by MIXONE

Fuck that I'm outta this thread.

Da da da da, I got a summons a few weeks ago to do my service to the country. I haven't been told how long the case is, have very little info actually except that I may be culled out on the first day and that I would be reimbursed for any parking costs. I've prepared my boss for a week without me just in case I am one of the chosen few.

Could be a gathering of KB'ers!!

I can see it now, notes being passed under the bench from one juror to the next ... "are you KB?"

**MisterD** · 17th March 2008, 18:06

Originally Posted by P38

I know some of them guilty bastards, should be a quick trial too.

Ah, the Sam Vimes approach...everyone's guilty of something, it's just a question of what.

Alternatively:

"Yes, sorry your honour, I've got to get back to work, just put me down for a guilty verdict, there's a good chap. Enjoy your session with Miss Whiplash at lunchtime.."

**Big Dave** · 17th March 2008, 18:08

Originally Posted by MisterD

"Yes, sorry your honour, I've got to get back to work, just put me down for a guilty verdict, there's a good chap. Enjoy your session with Miss Whiplash at lunchtime.."

He's just a Kiwi Judge mate - not a Tory MP.

**karla** · 17th March 2008, 18:10

Originally Posted by MisterD

A couple of weeks would have been educational, at ten weeks it's just too much time, although probably an interesting case (when's the Bain re-trial?). I'm starting to see why people cast doubt on the level of competence of most juries...I mean, who of the working public can afford ten weeks away from work?

You can get an increased payment (on top of the money they pay per half day) by applying. All you have to do is provide evidence of usual earnings and usual outgoings (financial commitments - alcohol, drugs, gambling addiction, petrol for bike rallies etc).

**karla** · 17th March 2008, 18:12

Originally Posted by Big Dave

He's just a Kiwi Judge mate - not a Tory MP.

"She" is a Kiwi judge ...

**mstriumph** · 17th March 2008, 18:13

Originally Posted by MisterD

...........I thought it was the perfect place to get advice on how to be excused from jury service........... I'm by way of being in sales ..............

..... and you can't come up with your OWN pitch??

---------

oh - i dunno ---- go into the selection process saying "Kill --- KILL" a la 'Alice's Restaurant' i guess .... hopefully with a better result

**MisterD** · 17th March 2008, 18:19

Originally Posted by mstriumph

..... and you can't come up with your OWN pitch??

---------

Thanks mstriumph, or should I say mstoocleverbyhalf?

Gotta do my research and preparation now, don't I?

**MyGSXF:Me** · 17th March 2008, 18:37

I was called up for Jury service 2 weeks ago. Went in there with 80 ish other people.. who were also called up. After the accused were led into the courtroom & pleaded etc.. one of the bigwigs started pulling our names out of a barrel. As each name was called, the person walked towards the jury seats & before, or as they got to the seats, if any of the lawyers didn't like the look of them, for whatever reason, they called out "challenge".. that person then had to go back & sit down & another name was called out. This process was repeated till they had 12 people in the jury seats. Approx 20 names were pulled out of the barrel all up. The rest of us were then thanked for our time & allowed to leave. Was funny though, during this selection process.. it was kinda obvious which people were going to be "challenged" as they walked towards the jury seats.. sooo... if ya can't get out of it beforehand due to work commitments etc.. go in looking scruffy'ish & unshaved, carrying a helmet!

ya should be outta there in 5 then!!

**Big Dave** · 17th March 2008, 18:48

Originally Posted by MyGSXF

go in looking scruffy'ish & unshaved, carrying a helmet!

You mean...there is some other look?

**Swoop** · 17th March 2008, 19:31

MisterD, Your best option is to write in stating that you are a rep who will be severely financially out of pocket by attending a trial of that length. It is the truth and you will be let off of the case since they do their best to accomodate this.
What court? District, high?

For some unknown reason I am called for jury duty every two years. The only time when this hasn't happened has been when I was on a case.
Luckily I now have an extended period of not being called.

Originally Posted by Rockbuddy

man ive never been called to jury duty id swap with you any day if i could

Easily enough done. They do not check identities apart from a simple roll-call at the beginning.

Originally Posted by MIXONE

If that fails don't shave for 3 or 4 days and go in wearing your bike gear.If you don't wear leather borrow some.Works every time.

Bollocks. My last case there were two of us with full gear. One of us was selected...

Originally Posted by P38

Turn up to the Jury selection room.

If ya get picked to go through to the court room

Put ya hand up when they ask if you know any of the defendants or witnesses.

When asked tell em

I know some of them guilty bastards, should be a quick trial too.

You'll most likely be invited to leave at this point.

Last trial, one of the called names said that he knew one of the names called at the beginning. He had to go forward and have a prolonged but very quiet discussion with the judge. Chap didn't seen too happy at the end of it.