Originally Posted by Ocean1
Reminds me of a guy I worked with on shift, name of Flatulus Rex.
I made the mistake one night of introducing him to one of my favourites, Egg & Potato Dum. Some mornings I’d arrive after he’d been on night shift and there be this heavy yellow effluvium wafting around the floor. Impressive as all hell but extremely unpleasant.
The rest of the troops eventually had enough and a few months later one of the fitters knocked up a pair of Y-fronts/nappies from some heavy 316 stainless steel chain mail. Theory was it’d contain at least the larger lumps. When he turned up that evening they padlocked the bastard into ‘em. IIRC it took him several days to get them off…And that in turn reminds me of a Scottish old time fireman called Jock strap.He was a big Fugger but very peculiar and week in the bowel department.Every morning he'd deliver the tea and toast to the slumbering Firemen ,prop himself up on the table and regale us with the longest sweetest fart tunes you could ever imagine, I'm talking inhuman sounds man, phwarr toot toot squeak toot,like a tui on crack speed wizz.He was timed at one minute forty seven seconds one morning, continuous piss flap flatulence. Anyway, amusing as it was,the novelty wore off for some and firemen being born bastards of the 'gob' or practical joke, they doctored the compulsory night shift curry the night before, only his mind.
Laxative chocolate,fish oil,protien foam that you put on oil fires,made of animal parts and he ate it like a goodun.Next morning he delivers the tea to a strangely awake bunch of fire fighters and adopts his usual position on the table for the dawn arse chorus.Toot toot he goes, phar wallop, ooh I dinay feel well lads ya-know. Phar splash splish, aghh I've gone and shit me sen, squeak, agh I've gone and followed through ya bastards It's fair pouring oot me troosers, he ran off to the toilet leaving a trail of the most obnoxious yellow green brown stuff complete with foamy bubbles,and a stench that I never wish to experience ever again in my life and a bunch of hysterical half vomiting firemen in his wake.
Man they were good times.
Curry anyone?
Oh bugger
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