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Thread: Two ladies talking in heaven

  1. #1
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    15th October 2005 - 17:42
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    Two Ladies Talking in Heaven

    1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.

    2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?

    1st woman: I froze to death.

    2nd woman: How horrible!

    1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began
    to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

    2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my
    husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But
    instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

    1st woman: So, what happened?

    2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I
    started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and
    searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet
    and checked under all the beds I kept this up until I had looked
    everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over
    with a heart attack and died.

    1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be
    alive

  2. #2
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    4th July 2005 - 15:58
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    Here's a variation

    Three men were standing at the Pearly Gates. It had been a particularly busy day so Peter told the first one, "We're just about fullup at the moment so we're only going to admit people who've had particularly horrible deaths. What's your story?"

    The first one replies, "Well, I'd suspected my wife of cheating on me, so today I came home early to try and catch her. As I came to my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching couldn't reveal where this other guy could be hiding. So I went out to the balcony and sure enough, there was this bloke hanging off the railing. I was really mad so I started beating and kicking him, but he wouldn't fall off. So I went back to my apartment, got a hammer, and started bashing his fingers. He let go and fell, but he fell in the bushes, stunned but okay. I was so angry I rushed into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge. It landed on him, killing him instantly. My wife, angry that I had killed him, came out to the balcony and shot me to death."

    "That sounds like a pretty bad death to me," said St Peter, so he let the man in.

    "It's been a very strange day," said the second man. "You see, I live on the 26th floor of an apartment building, and every afternoon I exercise on the balcony. Well today I fell off the balcony, but luckily, I managed to grab the railing of the balcony below. Suddenly, this madman ran out of his apartment and started kicking and beating me. Then he got a hammer and started smashing my fingers. I fell, but landed in the bushes, stunned but unharmed. Then a refridgerator fell out of the sky and landed on me, killing me."

    St Peter said, "Wow, you had a horrible death, okay go into Heaven."

    The third man said, "Okay, picture this. I'm hiding naked in a refridgerator..."

  3. #3
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    RIP Phil (Pinky) SHINE ON YOU CRAZY DIAMOND.

  4. #4
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    haha what a silly place to hide!
    I'm not a complete idiot... some pieces are missing

    Quote Originally Posted by DingDong
    "Hi... I rang about the cats you have for sale..."..... "oh... you have children.... how much for the children?"

    mucho papoosa bueno no panocha

  5. #5
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    Great start to the morning thanks
    Need something to do when not riding??? Come and learn to dance with us at www.cerocstars.co.nz

  6. #6
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    25th March 2007 - 12:04
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    Two ladies talking in heaven

    1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.

    2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?

    1st woman: I froze to death.

    2nd woman: How horrible!

    1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

    2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act.

    But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.



    1st woman: So, what happened?

    2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking.
    I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds.
    I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

    1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.
    No body move... I dropped my brain

  7. #7
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    Nice................

  8. #8
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    Nice!



    Good one.
    What you have in your heart will be revealed through what you have in your life.

    If things are going badly in our circumstances, the answer to what is happening to us outwardly is more often than not found in the mirror.


  9. #9
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    15th May 2007 - 11:26
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    Nice one!!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf View Post
    Time to cut out the "holier/more enlightened than thou" bullshit and the "slut" comments and let people live honestly how they like providing they're not harming themselves or others in the process.

  10. #10
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    olo llo ooo lll.

    Fark I cant even type it anymore.


    That's a good one Stirts.

    I shall be using that one in polite conversation for some toyme.

    Thanks.

  11. #11
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    8th November 2007 - 18:58
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    Thanks for the giggle

    Must spread before giving you the lurve again

  12. #12
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    10th June 2003 - 12:00
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    Two women....

    Two women meet when they both arrive in heaven.

    The first woman says "Hi! My name is Wanda."

    The second woman says "Hi! I'm Kelly, how'd you die?"

    Wanda replies "I froze to death."

    Kelly winces "How horrible!"

    Wanda reassures her "It wasn't so bad.. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?"

    Kelly replies "I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I cam home early to ctach him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV."

    Wanda asks "So, what happened?"

    Kelly continues "I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died."

    Wanda looks thoughtful, before she says "Too bad you didn't look in the freezer - we'd both still be alive."
    To finish first - first you must finish... Oh b.t.w, which way doe's Turn 1 go & whats the lap record...

  13. #13
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    Ha! Didn't see that coming

  14. #14
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    Ouch! Heart broken!


    If you can make it on Kiwibiker you can make it anywhere.

  15. #15
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    ha ha .good one

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