If NRL teams were a woman.............
Melbourne Storm - Delta Goodrem. Tidy, attractive, professional & uncontroversial. Nice to look at, but for some reason just makes you want to yawn.
St George Illawarra Dragons - Elle Macpherson. Past her best but still easy on the eye and an old favourite with most.
Souths Rabbitohs - Whitney Houston. Has not looked after herself in recent years and has gone completely off the rails.
Sydney Roosters - Amelie Mauresmo. Last woman on Earth scenario: you still wouldn't.
Parramatta Eels - Jenna Jameson porno star. Cops a pounding but are always around in the final scenes, even if they are choking......
Wests Tigers - Britney Spears. At times can look stunning, at others it can get ugly.
Canterbury Bulldogs - Christina Aguilera Looks like she enjoys it rough and dirty.
NZ Warriors - Paris Hilton. Lays down way too easily.
Canberra Raiders - Princess Diana. May be a blue blood, but hasn't done anything for a while.
Brisbane Broncos - Jessica Simpson. Got some great moves & had the same father in charge for entire existence.
Cronulla Sharks - Anna Kournikova. Look great but have never won anything.
Penrith Panthers - Krystal from Big Brother. Has the biggest and best assets going around, but we all know they're not the real deal.
North Queensland Cowboys - Beyonce. Quality all over, but especially good at the back.
Newcastle - Kylie Minogue. Very decent despite not having much up front.
Gold Coast Titans - The Olsen Twins. Not ready to go yet but shaping quite well.
Manly Sea Eagles - Julia Gillard. Still can't produce any juniors
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