Cowpoos uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
Cowpoos tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
When Cowpoos has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Cowpoos can kill him and take it.
Cowpoos once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Cowpoos doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask Cowpoos what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he crashes a gixxer into your face.
Cowpoos only masturbates to pictures of Cowpoos. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Cowpoos instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Cowpoos appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to crash a gixxer. When asked bout this "glitch," Poo's replied, "That's no glitch."
Cowpoos lost his virginity before his dad did.
Since 1979, the year Cowpoos was born, Suzuki related motorcyle crashes have increased 13,000 percent.
Cowpoos sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled riding ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Cowpoos crashed a gixxer into the devils face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Cowpoos brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Cowpoos crashed a gixxer into the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Cowpoos giveth, and the good Cowpoos, he taketh away.
Cowpoos girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF COWPOOS'" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Poo's!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
Cowpoos does not sleep. He passes out pissed
Cowpoos built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Cowpoos met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Cowpoos is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Cowpoos.
Cowpoos was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Cowpoos omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of gixxer related deaths.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer.Cowpoos smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
There are no disabled people. Only people who Cowpoos has slept with!
Cowpoos does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
There is no chin behind Cowpoos beard. There is only another fist.
Cowpoos once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Cowpoos roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Cowpoos--more than meets the eye, Cowpoos--robot in disguise," and starred Cowpoos as a super hero on a motorbike who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a gixxer. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however,Poo's rid the earth of the decepticons in 5mins flat,so Poo's was replace with a cartoon character instead.
Cowpoos is currently suing greg's, claiming sugar and spice are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
When Cowpoos plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather gixxer crashes to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
It was once believed that Cowpoos actually lost a fight to a Honda rider, but that is a lie, created by Cowpoos himself to lure more Honda riders to him. Honda riders never were very smart.
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Cowpoos.
If you can see Cowpoos, he can see you. If you can't see Cowpoos, you may be only seconds away from having a gixxer crashed into your face.
On the 7th day, God rested.... Cowpoos took over.
When Cowpoos awesome riding prowess fails to resolve a situation,...oh wait...it hasn't!
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Cowpoos.
Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world's hardest substance. But then they met Cowpoos, who crashed a gixxer so hard in to their faces, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Cowpoos.
God offered Cowpoos the gift to fly,in exchange for his super riding abilities,which he swiftly declined,because god can't catch him!
Cowpoos drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
A duck's quack does not echo. Cowpoos is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why? he will simply stare at you, grimly.
Cowpoos once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Poo's lost, he won in life by crashing a gixxer in to the side of Kasparov's face.
Cowpoos doesn't believe in German beer.
If you want a list of Cowpoos enemies, just check the extinct species list.
Cowpoos has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
Cowpoos once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Cowpoos doesn't need to swallow when eating food.
If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Cowpoos.
Ironically, Cowpoos hidden talent is invisibility.
Cowpoos eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.
Cowpoos owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.
Cowpoos invented a language that incorporates motorcycle stunting and riding.So next time Cowpoos is kicking your ass on a track, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your helmet.
Cowpoos invented water.
One time while sparring with Wolverine, Cowpoos accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.
Contrary to popular belief, Cowpoos, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly crashed into by a motorbike.
Cowpoos is Luke Skywalker's real father.
Cowpoos does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Cowpoos crashed his gixxer into every tree in existance.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Cowpoos can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
Cowpoos calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Mr Poo's.
Cowpoos once went to the virgin Islands. They are now 'the Islands'
On a high school math test, Cowpoos put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Cowpoo's solves all his problems with Violence.
Once a cobra bit Cowpoos leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Cowpoos.
Superman owns a pair of Cowpoos Pajamas.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Cowpoos says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Cowpoos banging your sister.
Cowpoos dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Cowpoos will not take shit from anyone.
Cowpoos doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Cowpoos PC will crash.
When Cowpoos goes cow-tipping, he lifts a cow up and drop kicks it into the neighboring farm. All the other cows simply tip themselves over to keep from having to walk back in the dark.
Cowpoos has to maintain a concealed weapon license in order to legally wear pants.
Cowpoos likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Cowpoo's cart wheeling gixxer flying through the infield.
Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Cowpoos during sex, because they are doing the same thing.
Cowpoos recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as TUI
Originally Posted by Drew
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